Job wobbles as DS1 approaches senior school

[Yogurtandfruit101]

Namechanger...I appreciate I probably need a therapist (!) but would be interested in other's thoughts and even typing it out will help me:

I am a senior manager, and have recently started job hunting for CEO roles. I have 2 upcoming interviews but I am wobbling that moving jobs right now isn't a good idea. Current work is ok, although a bit chaotic. I kinda feel I am ready to start taking the step up.

I am very worried about how we are going to be around for DS post school once he is too old for childcare and starts senior school in Sept.

DP and I both WFH home each week - can be 3 days, but can be none depending on what our diaries are like, WFH isn't 'protected' as such - so whilst it could be a solution to being around from 16:00ish it isn't a given. A lot of his local friends all have parents that don't work/work part-time.

We could try to find an after school nanny type for both DS1 and DD1 instead of her continuing to go to the after school club. But I am starting to question the logic of this. Despite the fact we have used childcare since DS1 was 9 months, I am getting all wobbly about it and feeling that being around as he approaches his teens is really important.

So I have started thinking maybe what is actually needed is me doing a (realistically probably less senior) role for shorter hours. DH earns more than me (I am in the non--profit sector), so not really an option for him. But obvs this step down is going to impact my career/earning potential for the future. I am in my early 40s, so many years ahead!

I did also work for myself for a number of years, and I wonder if I could make it work in less hours and it is maybe an easier thing to explain on my CV should I want to try to get back to CEO level. I did struggle with certain elements of working for myself, but I'd try to set myself up with ways to deal with those.

As an aside to all this, I am trying to address some mental health issues with a therapist. And I think maybe I should probably change nothing whilst I try to address my issues.

What would you do?

What time would you be home? I'm assuming 6pm latest if children currently in after school care.

Is there a reason your son couldn't be home by himself after school until 6pm?

I changed my hours when they started High school as while they could have been on their own unil 6 ish ,that was not what I wanted.I felt mine needed me more then. Before that they went to after school.TBF one of mine needs a fair bit of homework and is not a self starter !!

I get why you wouldn’t continue to look for ceo roles but to say you’d have to give up your senior
Management role
For something less senior?? Why not try to formalise your working arrangements so that you can be home for x number of afternoons? He can surely be left for some evenings like a Friday when he doesn’t have a homework deadline and let’s face it, it’s the weekend so he would be chilling. Also if your husband works from
Home x number of days sometimes then you don’t have to be there all
The time.

I wouldn’t do anything yet and see how your son fits into school.
He may attend after school sports clubs etc and therefore you don’t need to be home?

If it’s feasible for you to be around directly after school, then I would go for it. The hour when they get through the door has been very interesting for us and I’m always glad to be around to hear the random stories of their day. My oldest (15) now tends to surface for a chat after his brothers have talked my ears off - having the luxury of time for this has been great.

(We have loads of friends who work full time and they have lovely teens that they’re really close to, so clearly it does also work out if you can’t. Our youngest child has SEN and so it has suited us/him best not to use wrap around care. I work while he’s at a school)

Thanks all.

He can be own until 18.00 but I don't really want him too at least not whilst he is 11.

I can be home by 17.15 if I use flexitime and leave at 16.00.

My WFH day was via a flex work request. I could maybe work every day but try to finish earlier on a couple of days.

want him to

What sort of flexibility is possible in the role? We have managers who get up early and do calls with AsiaPac before dealing with the children; others will do late evening calls with the US, but 5pm-7pm is family time.

Options like that may not fit with your role at all, especially if it's not a multinational company, but I think there are often creative options around flexibility which people don't think about because they think it must all fit in 09:00-17:00. And these days, technology means there are other options.