To cut an epic short, my DH and I are going through a really nasty divorce and have been for the last four years. We have an 8 year old ds who has resided with me since the split and my ex dh is now threatening to seek custody.
We used to work for the same company where he was the IT Manager but the environment was so hostile that I eventually left for a different job. I honestly could not take his nastiness anymore.
I had a close friend at this company who worked in a difference office and we would communicate by email. I would hear their troubles and joys and they would hear mine. I still kept in touch after I left. We were both careful to delete our emails - particularly because I knew others would use my pc - and when I left i deleted everything of mine, all Internet files and everything that did need to be passed onto my successor such as temporary research notes - I worked in research.
My ds refused to have contact with his father on Friday despite both of us trying to persuade him to and my ex then asked for a 'quiet word'. His quiet word consisted of him yelling at me, blaming me for everything, calling me names, swearing which my ds heard and telling me that he had copies of emails which i have sent and which he was going to use against me since they talked about him and his partner and also about my ex boyfriend who turned out to have a mental disorder.
I do not know exactly how he got them, whether he has managed to restore my deleted files or those of the work colleague I sent them too but either way i do not think this is legal and that he should be able to use them.
Surely I am allowed to blow off steam to an adult friend so long as I do not do that in front of my ds and always encourage him to have a relationship with his dad?
This colleague has now found Guardian spyware on their work pc which was a fluke and only because their pc crashed losing a few weeks worth of work. Surely this is illegal too?
My ex has managed to find things I have posted on a chat room too which he is also throwing in my face. Again, should he be able to get away with this?
I do not think my personal opinion of him should be used against me because it is never anything I repeat to my son - surely I am a person as well as a mother and therefore allowed friends?
If anyone has any experience of this I would be grateful to receive information. I will be speaking to my solicitor about it of course but am really looking for peace of mind or forewarning that yet again he can get away with anything he does!
I can provide more information if it is needed.