Have PA roles become much more stressful, or am I past it?

[dreamofastressfreelife]

I'll have to change details here as this could be outing. I worked abroad for many years, and have a good education (finance, law), excellent organisational and administration skills, and excellent technical skills. I have moved back to the North of England and wanted a 'nice' admin job. I find myself in a PA job where I am working flat out all day, simply due to the amount of demands placed on me. I handle it all, well, but I hate every minute and am wrung out and exhausted and stressed post work every day. My boss is not a nice person - I feel I am a minion to be dumped upon. I am scared to move to another PA job in case this is now just the norm. I'm scared to apply for something like Project Management in case that would be even more stressful. I'm scared to try to do something like become a postman in case I then deskill myself out of work that I now hate. I suppose my questions are: for long term PAs, has the job changed dramatically over the past 20 years, or was I just lucky in the past having a more interesting, manageable workload and pleasant boss; 2 has anyone got to the point where they just can't bear it any more, and moved into another sort of role which seems less frenetic/friendly...fun?

That’s interesting Polar, I think I’m so institutionalised into thinking that it’s only the public sector that provides flexible working....! I have small children so being able to get away at a regular time is important even though I’m used to (and happy to) picking up emails and a bit of work in the evening.....

Worked for a couple of dickheads in the civil service but I put in a grievance when I left and also whistle blew on him for fraud! As far as I know, he didn’t get sacked but he got disciplined.

And a complete cow in a local council. I deleted her Outlook calendar and mailbox when I left. I know that makes me sound awful but she was nasty.

When I left banking (two jobs) my bosses gave me champagne and posh chocolates! And we are still Facebook friends.

I don’t think I’m cut out for the public sector.

Very good to know Polar, and I nice reminder to me that I too am friends with nearly all my old bosses either through Facebook or Linkedin or the odd e-mail! The one here doesn't find it appropriate to talk socially to someone of my level...they are too busy telling very important people how much work they are doing for those less fortunate. Love that you deleted her calendar and mailbox. Not that I would ever do something so unprofessional

Also loving Polar deleting Outlook calendar and mailbox! Wish I'd done that!

Professional Services firm?

I'd try another company before deskilling.

Absolutely! Was a PA from my late 20s to late 40s but jacked it in last year after another awful job.

I do something completely different now but took on an admin-type project a while ago as I was the best person to manage it. Suddenly everyone started treating me differently and my workload dramatically shot up. No one ever has a clue what you do or what you have on your plate. As if I need any more evidence as to how stressful and thankless PA and admin jobs are!!!

I felt exactly the same as you in terms of moving sideways or down. I think a better option would be project management. Far less chance of picking up all the shitty little jobs that other people can't be bothered to do.

My previous thread might be helpful!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/3174044-PA-boundaries-and-admin-support?pg=1&messages=100

Waves at @polarbearflavour

thankyou stressedoutpa!

I’m not a pa but I’ve noticed recently that executive assistants are asked to do/be more for less - prince2 qualifications/business management degrees as essential criteria in job specs for example. Plus I think there’s an overall squeeze on people to do more and work longer hours, but there’s no scope in budgets to pay them. Especially the charity sector

I have been a PA several times and agree it can be a very different role depending on the boss.

Sometimes you're a minion, sometimes you have fuck all to do. Sometimes you work ridiculously long hours.

Trouble is it's impossible to know which it will be until it's too late!

I'm a virtual Pa with several clients. Some people have no idea how to handle having a PA and just think you are there as a skivvy. Don't work for them! The ones who respect you and appreciate you are the ones you're looking for.

stressedoutpa - (and everyone) your input has been a lifeline to me this week. Stressedout - may I ask what you do (vaguely) now? I do have a degree, a pg cert, and an msc...I do question if there is something about me that means I am not cut out for a more "professional" job, but I don't know what that would be.

I think it’s your boss. How long have his previous PAs lasted?

I’m a PA in the charity sector. I get on really well with the team I work with and enjoy my job. Before I had kids I was a PA in financial services in the City. I looked after the biggest business writer in the London office and was often run off my feet, but I liked the role and I got on well with him. There were other people that we used to really struggle to find PAs for though. We could recruit them, but we couldn’t keep them. I would try another PA role in your shoes. Good luck!

I don't want to be specific as it would potentially out me! Suffice to say that I took a massive step down into what is effectively a entry level role. It is very different to what I've done before but I draw on my PA skills a lot as I have to organise my own workload. Dealing with the difficult bosses/other members of has now paid off as I often have to have conversations that require me to be diplomatic, assertive and tactful.

I'm not 100% sure that I will continue on this path. I could retrain to become qualified but it would be quite a long journey and I am not sure I love it enough to make that commitment.

One thing I do know is that my life over the last year has been much easier. I don't go home at the end of the day frazzled (and neither do my more senior colleagues). I rarely need to stay late or work through lunch. Very rarely do I get stuff chucked at me outside my remit and when that did happen a while ago (and I raised it) I felt like I was heard and not told to just suck it up as I had done as a PA.

This job has helped me to remember how confident I am. Someone described me as 'authoritative, knowledgeable and with a great sense of humour' the other day. It made me chuckle as I still feel like I am faking it at the moment.

Don't stick with that job. It's just not worth it. Put your feelers out and find something else. If you can move out of PA and admin work then do that. The right thing will come up.

Meant to say.... I felt exactly like you in the fact that I thought that I wasn't cut out for a professional role.

Expectations for a lot of PA jobs are off the scale these days. I found that if I ever raised the issue of workload I was told to prioritise my tasks. When you have hundreds of tasks on your list and the phone is ringing, visitors are at reception, people are stopping at your desk and you are being constantly interrupted it can be a bit difficult to step back and actually do that. As you know, it's not as simple as deciding whether to work on Project A, Project B or Project C because you are effectively working on multiple projects that are all at different stages (a bit like spinning plates!).

I say it over and over again but unless you have done the job (and most bosses/other staff haven't!) then it is impossible to know quite what a difficult job it is. An ex boss told me that he had a day where he was running around having to help people as the PA and Receptionist were off and he was the only person allowed access to a certain part of the building. Needless to say, he was trying to work on something important and kept getting interrupted. He said he snapped at someone then suddenly realised what it must be like to be me! I reminded him that I had to do that every single day of the week when I was a PA!!!

Another thing that really used to grate was that I often felt that my ability to get the job done to a high standard surpassed that of people on much much higher salaries. I often used to wonder how some people managed to get their jobs. It certainly didn't seem to be based on ability to meet deadlines or standard of spelling and grammar!

I think you hit the nail on the head when you say you were looking for a “nice” PA job as if it were an easy option. Being a PA is hard and demanding work and many people think that their more senior skills mean that they’d be able to be a good PA and that’s not necessarily true.

I’m a senior manager, I would be an appalling PA, I wouldn’t give me a job because I don’t have the level of detail and flexibility and quite frankly the skills to do the job.

If you are more of a project manager then apply for a PM role and use the skills you have and don’t assume that being a PA is the easy option you won’t be more stressed if you’re working in a role which matches your skills and experience

Another enlightening thread!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/2555767-I-hate-my-job-and-feel-hopelessly-trapped-WWYD

It made me chuckle as I still feel like I am faking it at the moment

@stressedoutpa look up imposter syndrome. Very common psychological feeling when things are going well and you feel like you’re a fraud and don’t belong where you are. [https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/real-women/201809/the-reality-imposter-syndrome%3famp This]] is a good summary.

And if someone calls you authoritative again, correct them and with ‘assertive’. Good leaders are assertive, they need to be to be able to make decisions (after consulting / collaborating with colleagues).

Link fail

here

Yes, I do know about imposter syndrome! The comment just reminded me that if I look and sound convincing it can go a long way. We have a new member of staff in the department and although she seems perfectly capable she constantly tells everyone she is unsure/feels overwhelmed. She's managing to get everything done so it's not really serving a purpose by telling everyone!

'Authoritative' was the right word in terms of the person I was talking to/the context of the conversation as I was conveying information to a third party/had to take control of a situation.

A friend who does a similar job told me I know more than the people I am dealing with which helped a lot!

A good PA/EA relationship is worth its weight in gold. I've always taken the view that I'm as much doing the interviewing as them and will ask questions about the person I'll be working for/with, staff turnover in that particular role, what type of person they are, ask to see where I'd work, meet the team etc. I also ask about flexible working, boss's own ways of working (eg preferences/likes and dislikes). I moved company twice with my old boss because we worked well together and I could prep stuff for her which came up in her in box, did project management as well as the basic daily tasks etc. and was the go to person other team members could talk to if my boss wasn't available or if they wanted to gauge how something might be approached.

The person you report to/work with needs to be confident in themselves also I think - not threatened by your own skills and experience but see what you bring to the role as good for their own performance because you are a mutually supportive team.

If most of these, with good terms & conditions, salary etc being a given, aren't in place then time to move either transferring to a better role in the same company or move elsewhere.

How are you placed OP - could you start somewhere as as contract cover or temp to perm? Good luck - I know it gets harder all the time.

Thanks all. Still following. I've been stuck in this job as there has been nothing else out there, but serendipitously (its late, is that the right spelling?) I've been approached by agencies about three potential mat leave roles this week - all in professional services...which after my self analysis, and through the help of this thread, I think would be a better environment for me. at least they pay about 33% more too!

That sounds great! It won't hurt to investigate those even to gather information and maybe get some interview practice with those firms and see how things REALLY work from inside the machine.

Remember you won't just be a square peg in the square hole - you need to make sure it's right for you and that you won't just be a widget!

Also, with the extra money, if you decide to take up one of these roles then divert the extra immediately into a bank account which you need to give notice to access the funds do you have a financial cushion in between contracts.

Also look out for jobs with very good benefits incl matching pension contributions and pay in as high a percentage as you can.

Of course the best scenario is for one of these contracts to lead to a permanent job - good luck! 🍀