What do I ask. Contacted by head hunter.

[Frenchmontana]

Hi I am hoping someone can give me some advice or help.

I took a career break last year after leaving an abusive marriage. When I was ready to return to work I had 2 jobs which were my top choices. Both jobs were a step down, as I wanted to work for the companies and they were the roles they had available.

Job 1 was a for a local companies that is expanding hugely. Due to expansion people are progressing quickly. It's fairly well paid (about 3k above average). I interviewed for their position and they liked me but felt I would be completely bored in role, but one of the directors brought me back. He was honest, said he like me and the role he wanted me for was about a year away. I said that was fine, but I would be taking a role in the mean time and I could only say if I would leave it or not when they came back to me.

Job 2, again, said I wouldn't be happy as I am too senior, but asked me to apply for another role, which I got and I am now in. It's a role they havent had before and for a few months I wasnt happy as I wasnt doing the role I was meant to be doing. However theres been a move around and I am getting the chance build the role into what I want. It's for a huge company international company that own a big green supermarket.

Anyway, the first job had a head hunter contact me yesterday. The role they want me for is still 6 months away (so on track) but they want me and have another role. I wasnt keen on the wage they offered me, but the head hunter came back in 20 minutes and matched what I asked for.

I have meeting with the company later this week and a call in with the head hunter today. I need to know what i should ask.

The I have done a pros and cons of both job

The job I am in, is for a huge company that has an ok progression route. Progression can be a bit political and depends on how many senior staff you can get to endorse you. I am getting to shape my role as I wish. My new manager has never worked in my field, so I get to tell him how we will work. They really like me, I am doing well and landed several big pieces of work in 6 months. They are quite flexible. When my 8 year old was off school ill, I was given the option to work from home rather than take unpaid leave, if I felt I could and ds didn't need to much care (he didn't he wasnt that ill had just been sick in school so they invoked the 48 hour rule). I can work from home occasionally and pick my hours. They also have a good sickness package, maternity package, bonus, discount for the supermarket, pension and share options But it's a long commute. Ds has to go to breakfast club and after school club because of my commute, which costs a fortune. Some of the senior leadership team are resistant to change, which makes my job very difficult.

The new job is round the corner, less commute and I would not need to use after school club, just breakfast club which will save money, it's slightly better paid but will save a fortune in petrol (around £50 pw), the company is fast paced and really want me. It's a role I have done before, that I love doing.

Do I ask the head hunter about the benefits such as sick pay, working from home flexible working etc or will that put them off?

Has anyone been head hunted or a head hunter and know what I should say and not say?

Should I tell my boss I have been head hunted? If so should I do it now or after I have met with the other company. I think I could use this to leverage a promotion or pay rise in my current job. But i am not sure if that's an ok thing to do or how.

I mean if anyone can tell me what job I should pick, that would be great as this is mashing my head

Sorry it's so long but any help would be appreciated.

Pick the other job. Preprepared to say why they should gave you and spend the time with the headhunter pursuading you.

Also negotiate something else like better annual leave if you are feeling ballsy.

Definitely go to head hunter and say you are very keen but given your situation you would only move if you were offered a certain amount of flexible working etc which you are currently getting on your current job. Be specific about what you are asking so they can see you won’t take the piss about it.

Once you have that offer, of course you can tell your old job and use it as leverage. If you do it correctly and respectfully. However, what is it you want from your current job? What could they offer you that would want you to stay? Be realistic. If theure’s nothing they can realistically give to you that would put them ‘above’ the old job, then I wouldn’t bother playing games.

I would go back to the head hunter and ask them to match your current benefit package. What is progression like in the headhunter's company?

Depending on them matching benefits I would also choose the other role (the headhunter's role)

Thank you very much!

Preprepared to say why they should gave you and spend the time with the headhunter pursuading you.

That's an excellent point. I keep looking at it as though I am trying to convince them I am right for it and it's the other way round

DustOffYourHighestHopes thank you, i didnt know if it was the done thing to ask for more than they are offering. As for what my current role are offering, I would want a promotion. The job I do, also has 2 other people doing it. We work as a small team. Given I am the only one that's worked in that field, I am essentially running the team. I am happy to do it, as they are thinking about creating an official role (which is the level above mine) for someone to run that team. I would ask they create that role sooner for me. It would be a pay rise, above the new job. But job real differences in benefits. It would also mean I would work more in an office closer to home as I would be part of the senior leadership.

I would go back to the head hunter and ask them to match your current benefit package. What is progression like in the headhunter's company?

I will ask them outright today. Progession in the new company is good. Its expanding and is a very large company now. However, I know progression can be political. It is in my current role, but I feel I know the game in my current role. I worry the head hunter is saying progression is good, but I have been burnt by companies saying this before.

i didnt know if it was the done thing to ask for more than they are offering.

Always ask for more. The fact they came back so quickly to match what you wanted suggests you can definitely push for more.

I had similar situation and negotiated 1 day a week wfh and 30 percent pay rise. Wasn't popular asking for wfh but was important for me and a deal breaker if not possible. Would ask if its important to you.

So working from home is definitely off the table. It's also an extra hour a day. The nature of the role is that I need to be in the office 8-5. But I would be leaving later and home at the same time, I am now due to the shorter commute.

I spoke to the head hunter and advised I wanted to see the benefits package up front. She admitted that it wont compare to what I have now. For example I have 17 weeks sick pay. She said they cant match that and she is wary of asking them, as it might make them think that I call in sick alot.

I pointed out that I dont, but as a single parent and the only bill payer, knowing I have a benefit like that is for my own security. I haven't called in sick for 12 years. But it's good knowing that if I was, I still get paid.

The annual leave is also less, again, a problem for a single parent but that's possibly negotiable. My gut feeling after speaking to her, is that I dont want the job.

But I dont know if I can turn down the short commute and pay rise.

But I dont know if I can turn down the short commute and pay rise.

Yes, you can, if that's the only thing in its favour. There will be other jobs.

She's not a very good headhunter if she's unwilling to ask the questions at all.

I wouldn't go for it, all you'll do is resent the stuff you've lost out on from your current job and the short commute won't be so appealing then.

She's not a very good headhunter if she's unwilling to ask the questions at all.

That's what I was thinking. Surely if they want me they would be happy to outline the package.

And also they know who I work for. They know they give a good package.

It’s very normal to want to see the benefits package up front. It’s the headhunter who’s weird, not you!

So I have my meeting tomorrow.

Headhunter called today and advised they are will to negotiate my package. Annual leave, especially.

I pointed out to her that I would be mad to give up my current benefits without knowing what they offer. She agreed but didn't share any more information.

On another note. My boss now knows. Someone from the company, that he happens to know, told him. I am probably being a bit of dick, but that's pissed me off.

On the plus side, my boss was lovely. Took the details of what they were offering and told me to sit tight. He has said I can discuss it with him anytime. He will even go through what they offer me and discuss it. He said he wint hold it against me if I leave and the door will be open for me to return then said 'but give me a few days and let me see what I can do. I dint want to lose you from the team'

So I am no further forward, but if my currently role offers me more money and more working from home, I would definitely stay.

The more this goes on, the more I think the new job just isnt for me.

Well done for holding your ground. Even if you turn down the new one, you’ve re-established and increased your value in your current job.

Thank you.

Another odd turn of events has been that another senior manager also asked me to apply for a sideways shift into her department.

It's the same role I have now, same pay etc. I have done this job in that area before and would totally rock it. However, it's not adding anything new to my CV, where as my current role is.

I think these 2 jobs offers coming in for me and made my boss worry he wont be able to keep me very long.

I used to be a total badass at work. I knew my worth. I knew my employer and boss was lucky to have me. This last week has made me realise, that the attack I sustained at the hands of my husband and then the abuse during the separation has really damaged my self esteem

I need to get that bad assery back

Op. You are amazing.

The world is your oyster.
You just need to decide what you want

Love this thread!!! Well done OP I can read on every post that your confidence is returning to where it should be!
You are indeed one badass!!

Hi all thank you so much for your support

I had the meeting and it went well. They will give me extra annual leave and give me a copy of their package. They have told me it's not extensive as what I get now. Which I knew. But at least I will get to see it and decide.

When I get 10 mins (I have to be in the office at 7 for a meeting) I am going to make a pros and cons list and would appreciate your opinions. If that's ok.

WFH is worth its weight in gold! It just makes everything in life so much easier with that flexibility.

I would not give that up easily - I am a single working parent and have flexibility to wfh quite a lot. When they are sick even just if you have a delivery! It all saves taking time off.

Yes, me too - i’d say the flexibility to work one day from home a week (and to occasionally change that day) is amazing. For the plumber, for child sickness, just to put some laundry on or slum around in pjs!

I work extra hard on my one day from home so people can see i’m not taking advantage. I always answer the phone within a couple of rings, bring it with me to get tea etc!

You're a total badass op. I wish I had one tenth of your self esteem. You know what you're worth and you're going to get it. I've been stuck in a dead end job for years and been completely over looked since I returned from maternity leave but I'm going to channel a bit of your energy and apply for a new job I've seen. You've inspired me to get my arse in gear and not be afraid to make a leap to somewhere ill be appreciated. Thanks

You are all so lovely! Thank you so much! propertywoes you can do it. Go for it.

So here the list

Job one (the job I am in)

Is ok paid, but once universal credit comes in I am screwed. Especially since I get paid every 4 weeks. That's causes issues with UC apparently too. I took a step back in my career to work for this company.
Longer commute
More in petrol
I love the job.
I fought several huge projects, that could make my career. But I am scared the 'you ha e an amazing future here' is bull shit to get me to work harder.
People do get promoted and I am on the plan and have amazing senior managers supporting me. But the doubt in myself makes me wonder will I be one of the ones to make it.
I can wfh, which was a god send when ds was I'll a few weeks ago
And ok annual bonus, not life changing but ok.
An excellent pension scheme
Flexible hours and if I need an hour off here or there it's fine
I do work alot of hours, because I love my job. Its about of responsibility and stressful but great

Job 2 well paid, short commute, less heriarchy, one step away from directorship, smaller company but less people leave so that one step could take ages.
The wage on this job will replace more than what I will lose in TC, just. But also save 2k per year in petrol. I like the company but not sure about the job role. But it's a good step into the company. Although the commute is shorter it's an extra hour per day. So I get in a bit later. They have matched the holidays in my current role and can offer a bit of flexibility, but we are talking finishing half an hour early if I need to on occasion.

In my heart I really want to stay where I am. But once UC comes in I dont know how I will afford to even get to work.

My head is mashed and I haven't slept for days. I really dont want to leave. But dont think I have a choice.

Very difficult OP.

One piece of advice for when you’re thinking about the two jobs, hopefully that reduces the stress:

• any decision you make is NOT ‘forever’
• more job opportunities come up. It isn’t the case of ‘it’s this or nothing’. It’s like dream properties: it seems like the decision of a lifetime...before another great property appears on zoopla a few months later.
• you are an amazing and valued product. Highly rated and clearly interview well. Either place would be lucky to have you. You’re doing them a favour not the other way around. Finding good staff is a nightmare for many companies.

DustOffYourHighestHopes thank you,

I think this what's hard. I feel like having held back my career for a whole because of the ex, this is my last chance. I am 37 and want to work my way up very senior and feel I am running out of time to start moving forward.