Returning to a job I hate

[MrsCrawley]

Bit of background, I’m in a senior management position. Announced pregnancy early due to health/ previous pregnancy issues, new MD started overloading me,work that wasn’t in my remit etc, ended up being signed off work as the stress was affecting the baby, returned all was ok, then my workload was stripped down more and more and left out of things, highlighted to HR and they were no help, at 32 weeks I was in that much of a state I was signed off work, I then had holidays and mat leave started 15th October. I did consult for legal advice as I’m well aware it’s pregnancy discrimination. I indicated I would return in June but I really don’t feel ready to return or even want to go back there and I don’t want to leave our DD, my DP who works for the same firm supports me and we can manage finance wise, just after advice on how long you can take off, whether I have to return etc. I know it’s a few months away but im already worrying. I will add previous to the pregnancy I worked 70+ hours no issues and never took sick days. Before I finished I was still working above my contracted hours

The whole arrangement as you describe is not conducive, so it's no wonder you are dreading going back.

1. You need to get those long hours down. 70 hours a week is way too much and isn't healthy, and you're creating a rod for your own back by saying it's "no problem" - it gives out a mixed message to your manager that they can keep piling on the work and you'll just accept it. Did you opt out of the 48 hpw Working Time Directive? If not your organisation is letting you down by turning a blind eye to your excessive hours and not controlling your work volume. You could bring up,your concerns at your return to work meeting esp as you will have family responsibilities.

1. You and your manager need to agree your contractual responsibilities, the lines seem to be very blurred, and without that clarity of agreement they will give you work that you shouldnt have to deal with, and conversely you feel there have been times you've had work taken away from you that you feel should be rightfully your responsibility. That confusion is not a good positive position to be in and to enable you to operate in a senior management role.

You need to use your senior position to get these matters resolved, so you can feel good about your job and returning to work.

Hi MrsCrawley,

It is such a tough thing having a demanding job and being pregnant / having a baby. I have been through it myself. I've also experienced that feeling of 'being put out to pasture' (e.g. workload scaled back, left out of things) that can come with it.

I'm wondering here what is worrying you the most about going back to your job? Is it leaving your baby? Having a reduced role? Having too much work? The MD? Something else? If you can be clear with yourself about this then you can start to work out the best approach to addressing your worry and working out what to do next.

Secondly, you have some time before June which is a good thing. Ask yourself: if you really don't want to go back, do you really have to? It's likely that you could have other options and choices for your career and home life.... Some may seem easier or more/less appealing than others. Perhaps think for a minute or so: What would be your ideal work and home scenario for you to feel positive and happy? What would you be doing? Where would you be working? How many days per week, etc?

Then you can think more about your options. For example, you may decide that one option is that you could find a new job, or you could start a completely new career, or you could extend your time being an at home Mum beyond June, etc. Once you have your options out on the table, then you are in a better position to evaluate these and think through what's really possible for you and your family in your situation?

Finally, for the specifics on how long you can take off, what happens if you don't want to return etc you'll need to check your company's maternity policy as they are all different. HR should be able to email you this, or it may even be on an intranet if you have one.

Good luck with it, let us know how you get on!