Working Mum's Guilt

[La22]

I am contracted to work 36 hours a week, although consistently do more hours each week. Our office is open 8am-6pm and from a team of four we are required to provide cover during these hours. Each week we sit down as a team and determine who will be doing the early shift and who will be doing late shift, so for example next week I am required to be in the office early on Tuesday (although this does not mean that I will finish at 4pm) and on Thursday I am required to be in the office until 6pm (but will probably start around 8:30am). I have a child in nursery and fortunately the nursery is open from 7:30am-6:30pm so I am able to accommodate the working hours put upon me at short notice. However lately I do feel as though I would like some consistency in my working hours as I feel the random drop off and pick up times at nursery is having a detrimental effect on my son. I have approached my manager who told me that the job is what it is and if our people are here we need to be here to support them, I was also told I have ‘working mum’s guilt’ and it would pass soon (I have been back at work for nearly a year now!)

I really enjoy my job and easily get my work done within my contracted hours. But there is an expectation put on me and my colleagues by my manager to be here ‘just in case’ - the two people I support rarely stay past 5pm and are very considerate of the fact that I have a young child. I understand that the office need to be covered until 6pm and am happy to find a way forward to reach some sort of compromise but my manager has said if I can’t do the hours I need to find another job, she has also said that if I have a second child she does not think I will be able to do the hours required.

Does anyone have any advice about what to do next or where I stand, I really do not want to leave my current role or have to involve HR but don’t really see any other way forward?

In a perfect world, within the team of four, 2 might want to work early all the time and 2 might want to work late - problem solved.

However if cover is required till 6pm as a business need, and for example, the "late" shift is seen as crap by everyone, then it would be unfair to force people in the team to do it all the time to suit you ~(same applies to the early shift, if that's the case).

Would it be an option to plan out the cover more in advance ? Say, have a planning meeting once a month and sort out the whole schedule, rather than doing it weekly ? Would that help you plan for drop off / pick ups ?

I would suggest a bit more long term planning. So a week of earlys, a week of normal, lates then normal. That way your son has a bit more stability as does everyone else. Would they be open to that?

Doing it weekly swems like short notixe.i would say monthly so you can get into a bit of a pattern

Firstly, don't feel pressured to come in/stay later. Your shifts have been arranged to cover all operating hours, so come when you should and leave when you've done your shidlft at least within 5/10mns.

As for the inconsistency of shidlft, how is it affecting your son? Could you find a way to help him adjust? You could discuss the week on Sunday and explain to him what to expect and focus on the positive that hell get too lseep later on some days/be home sooner on others. Which shifts does he founds hardest, mornings or evenings? Are you the only one who can drop bim/pick him up?

I don’t understand why you’re coming in to work at 8.30 when presumably a 6.00pm finish means a 10.00am start, or why if you start at 8.00 you aren’t leaving at 4.00. There may be an expectation to be there on the part of your manager but if she isn’t paying you for your time, don’t work it.

From what I’m hearing it not that you can’t work the hours but that she wants you there from 8.00 until 6.00 when you’re not contracted to work a 10 hour day. Start working your scheduled hours, if you are challenged on it ask her to clarify in writing the number of hours you are contracted to work each week and what arrangements are in place to reimburse you for the additional hours she is asking for.