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Bullying not taken seriously

4 replies

takemewithyou · 10/01/2019 16:38

It was proven during an investigation that another member of staff had been bullying me. A behaviour agreement was drawn up that we both had to sign. I don't think my bosses actually thought it was happening and during mediation it was clear the bully didn't agree and even bullied me in the meeting. It left me a wreck and affected me in many ways. My boss hasn't taken another complaint I have made seriously and said it comes down to 'perception'.I try to keep out of the bully's way. Yesterday she got the wrong end of the stick which I know is easy to do but her reaction humiliated me in front of the people I work with. I said nothing. I later emailed my bosses with my account and haven't had any acknowledgement at all. They have always been reluctant to talk to this person, normally if they do she takes a few days off afterwards. I have struggled everyday for the past 3 years to go to work everyday. At its peak my hair was falling out, my neck seized up, I wasn't sleeping and I was paranoid. I felt a bit better once it was all in the open when I thought I was believed but I don't think I was now, especially by my bosses. I feel drained and frustrated. I don't want to leave a role I enjoy. I did resign before I made my complaint official, my boss took it far to easily,she said she was very sorry to see me leave etc and would give me a glowing reference. She said she would be making it clear to the bully that I was leaving because of her! This didn't sit well with me. I withdrew my resignation because another boss talked me out of it, she came across like she believed me but has since turned on her heels.

I feel like suing them for the damage they have done to me. There has been plenty opportunity to nip this in the bud early on but I was told to deal with it myself as they couldn't get involved. I have kept a log of pretty much everything.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 12/01/2019 18:30

Your title to this thread is the reality, your management have tried to sweep this situation under the carpet and have taken no action on the bully. Too little too late, I'd say. They know the coast is clear, you've resigned, so now they come out with the platitudes about how they'll let the bully know the effect of their behaviour. Then to add insult to injury, the manager who had previously supported you doesn't have the guts to see things through to a conclusion.

I would be lying if I said I felt you had a case against them, based on the information you've provided here. If you feel strongly that you want to pursue it, then you could take a no-cost option of talking to ACAS in detail to see if they can find anything you could pursue.

The fact it has gone on for a long time means the chances of constructive dismissal case are slim if nonexistent, coupled with the fact you resigned (but didn't cite CD at that time) and was then persuaded to retract your resignation.

They would say in their defence that they put a behaviour management plan in place, that's their get out of jail free card. The fact it was ignored and not monitored, they'd maintain they tried their best and it was a "clash of personalities".

Their offer of a "glowing reference" is a bit rich (but typically what happens in these situations). If they valued you so highly they would have resolved the bullying professionally so you didn't have to leave.

Put it down to weak and ineffective management that you can escape from. Hopefully you can get some work lined up very soon.

takemewithyou · 12/01/2019 19:35

Thankyou for your honest and detailed reply.

I really tried everything to try and avoid making my grievance official. I feel very let down. I can prove everything but it still doesn't seem enough. I do feel they are pushing me out. It has been blatantly obvious this week. I've tried the sucking it up and getting on with it but in the end I got so anxious.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 12/01/2019 21:38

It's a horrible demoralising feeling to be discarded so callously when once you were an accepted valued employee. Keep saying to yourself that it wasn't you, it was a set of circumstances that conspired against you. They are the losers.

takemewithyou · 12/01/2019 21:59

Thanks for that

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