Recently returned to work after kids - but now want to quit!

[Sherbet99]

Hello Mumsnetters,

I need your advice!

I returned to work around four months ago, having taken time off since the birth of my second son who is now nearly three.

I returned to a completely new job, new employer, new culture - I thought I was going to really enjoy the role. The terms and conditions are great and I am only working three days a week.

HOWEVER, I am really not enjoying it - to the extent it's causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. I am making a lot of simple mistakes and feel I am making a bad impression at work. The work itself isn't quite what I thought and I am being observed a lot of the time as part of my training. I don't feel I fit in with the workplace culture, which is very professional but also formal and restrained (which isn't me!)

As well as this, since starting the new job, home life has become really chaotic - trying to manage everything, both my boys are very lively, messy and want full attention when I am there, so it's very difficult to stay on top of housework and life admin. Plus it's then difficult making transition back into work mode.

On the plus side I have enjoyed the time out from the kids whilst at work and the kids have settled in really well with their childminders.

Would you: -
Resign and return to being SAHM
Look for another job which will probably be on a lot less money due to the field of work I will be looking at - but hopefully a better fit.
Stick at it and try and work through the anxiety, see if gets better

Anyone been through a similar experience and if so what did you do?

Thanks so much,
xx

If you can afford to be aSAHM - go for it!

Can't comment much more but I'm mum of 1, excitedly hoping to conceive No 2 soon. First day back at work today after Xmas and spent the whole day just thinking 'let's get pregnant and escape" lol

I just started a new job and realised after the first day it wasn't right for me.. I quit after Xmas as the things that were wrong weren't gonna change.

If you're sure it won't get better I'd quit now... but are you sure? And what will you do next, get another job or stay at home longer?

I went back to work in Sept after 14 years as a sahm. The job I'm doing bares no resemblance to the job advertised and is tedious with no obvious prospect of improving. I've been grappling with exactly the same questions that you are. However, I've recently come to the conclusion that for various reasons, staying would actively harm my prospects and so I need to identify a speedy way out. Not sure at this point whether this involves resigning before finding something else or not.

Would it be easy to take time out for interviews Neolara? I too had a job that was completely not as advertised... I decided I needed to be free for interviews so took the decision to quit.

Depends on what kind of job you're looking for and if you'd be able to take short notice annual leave (or feel comfortable pulling a sickie for example) but if they get wind that you're looking elsewhere and you're still in probation they may get hacked off.

If you can afford to resign and feel confident you can get something better soon, I'd quit now. otherwise you might be better to wait it out. Tough isn't it.

Be aware that a lengthy career gap followed by a brief spell back at work and then followed by another gap will make you a much harder sell to a prospective employer It is much easier to find a job while in a job.

Four months isn't very long in terms of testing the waters. It also sounds like the home front hasn't changed very much and that your partner is perhaps expecting life to continue from him as if you are at home all day - offload some housework and admin to him.

But it can be really hard to take time out for interviews when you're new Maush so I understand the OP's dilemma.

Not really on to take sickies in probation, which only leaves the option of taking annual leave and with most jobs requiring two stages of interviews it would mean taking a few odd days here and there often at short notice, which could make a new employer very suspicious. And in some places you need to accrue time before taking leave.

Its a real dilemma.