I'm not stupid but struggling to act at manager level

[islandholiday]

I've got a new job as marketing manager after a five year break.

I'm now in my early 40s, and I've found I'm really struggling with how to act at manager level. I find myself either waiting for my boss to tell me exactly what to do (but she's similar age to me and managing large team of 12), or I can do my own thing, but find that it's not really a business priority and no one is impressed by it.

When I started a lot of senior colleagues were keen to talk to me and involve me in their discussions and initiatives. But after a few short months I've been sidelined out of everything- as I obviously wasn't contributing at the right level.

I know I'm not stupid, but I just don't get it. I'm more than capable of doing the marketing, I just struggle with the moving and shaking and being influential.

I don't manage anyone, so that's not an issue. Although they did want me to set up a team eventually, which they now no longer talk about.

Also the company is very big on clear objectives etc, so I do think it's me rather than them.

I think I should do some training in my own time to improve that side- and wondered if anyone had anything to recommend?

This sounds really tricky and confusing. Do you feel that you have a good sense of what the company's goals are? And do you understand how your work contributes to those goals?

When it comes to organisational goals and priorities there are often two kinds, the spoken and unspoken goals. Spoken goals will be clearly articulated in documents, intranet, action plans etc etc. Unspoken goals are as important but may not be so clear. Have you tried speaking to your senior colleagues to get some feedback? Ask them what their priorities for the year are and what they'd like to see you focus on.

In terms of training I don't have any recommendations I'm afraid but there are tonnes of books out there on management and organisational behaviour.

Failure is a feeling before it becomes a reality. Either you are being really hard on yourself (and you could spend some time auditing what you have done) or there has been some drift (and you have time now that you've noticed to turn it around). Or it could be a bit of both! I had a similar experience when returning from year long maternity leave in to a new job. It took me a while to realise I had to be more pro-active and needed a bit of a kick to get me going.

I agree completely that you need clarity on expectations. In my organisation you'd have to be really senior to be setting your own objectives with no reference to line management. Unless you were specifically recruited with a blank brief to create your own work, then you can legitimately ask for some time to be set to speak to your senior colleagues/manager to establish (or re-establish) your objectives. Do you have a job description from when you were recruited? Can you go through this in advance of any discussion to set out how you think you will achieve. Set yourself tasks daily that contribute to goals and the incremental success helps build evidence that you're working.

Are there formal processes for objective setting or check in points? In my organisation it would be fine to be honest and just say that you've realised you have lost your direction and need some support to get back on track. How does that feel?

Also, if I have read this right, this is your first job in 5 years. Give yourself time! I really love Brené Brown for life help in general but she's not strictly management advice. Otherwise some kind of (gentle) project management training might help. But that is only useful if it's relevant to your job and is used in your organisation.

Hi,

First, I'd say congratulations on reaching out. That takes courage and self awareness. It sounds like you maybe a little disorientated and that could be as you've been away from work for a while, the organisation culture and business is one you are struggling with, your own confidence, marketing has changed since you were last working, or a mix of all.

Talk to your line manager, be honest about how you feel and ask for feedback.

To market the company effectively you need to fully understand it as well as understanding what marketing means to them.

I'd ask for a mentor to help build your confidence.

Are you having regular catch ups with your manager? Has she given you any feedback on your performance?

I'm mid 40s and went back after 12 years out. For the first 6 months or so I struggled with a nagging feeling that it was all going wrong despite getting good feedback.

That was just lack of confidence though, it's gone now and looking back I can see that I was doing fine.

Do you have a work plan? How are you performing against that? I have a role where I work across teams in the organisation. I try to look for ways we can link up and support on each others goals. I think an understanding of how to work on a strategic level is often beneficial in this type of role. I do this by Tring to learn as much as possible about the sector, organisation and the area we work within. I totally think you can turn this around. Also as pp's have said you could just be being harsh on yourself. Also perhaps you are not getting enough direction from your manager?