Writing a formal complaint bullying boss

[InApickle1216]

I have to write a formal complaint letter and unsure how I should word it. My boss over the years has been intimidating. Over the past few months its almost on a daily basis. I have talked to her regarding how she speaks to me and the other staff but she will say "I dont know how I should talk to you, I dont deal with emotions" and says she will change but will only for alittle bit an shes back at it. Most staff walk on egg shells around her as we are unsure of when she is going to blow up. She has had alot of stress over the past year including a build of a new location, marital and health problems. I have looked up to her and considered her a friend so its makes it really hard. Any suggestions of wording would be wonderful. Feeling overwhelmed

What you're effectively doing is lodging a formal grievance against your manager. That's serious and I'd caution you against that unless you have significant evidence and situations you could refer to in the letter.

Making accusations in writing is open to scrutiny and can easily be picked apart by a bullying manager who is more senior than you. It's important to play through any situations first before deciding whether they are impactful enough to include. Think, could the manager minimise it and pick it apart. Put yourself in her shoes and think about whether she could justify any of her behaviour - you could be giving her ammunition to fire back at you.

If there are 1 or 2 very specific situations that illustrate toxic behaviour it's better to 'focus on the few' rather than a long list that dilutes the effect.

Don't mention her treatment of other people, only focus on what you have been subjected to. If however, several of you want to sign the letter each giving situations relevant to them, that is a very powerful message.

You say you have to do this. Why? What do you want to achieve? I would be very wary you are not made into a scape goat.

I've experienced workplace bullying in two different jobs, and feel for you. It's awful and the bully can never seem to admit they're in the wrong. However, if you believe by raising a grievance will help your situation then maybe you can get guidance as to how to word the letter from an employment lawyer or union. I joined my industry's union to handle an awful situation in my last job. It really helped and reassured me. Another less stressful option is trting to put up with the terrible behaviour and look for a new job with a more professional environment.

If you decide to proceed you need to avoid saying things like "most staff walk on eggshells". If you want to lodge a grievance it has to be about what she has done to you personally.

Thanks would this be ok ?

The constant change & micromanaging in the day to day work has the staff feeling like we are going around in circles and afraid to make a decision.

Are you writing it on behalf of others? Have they given permission/will they be signing the letter? If not then you definitely cannot speak about how staff feel, only how you feel.

Re micromanaging - a manager would argue she's unable to trust staff complete work to deadlines and to the appropriate standard so feels her "hands on" approach is needed.

You need evidence of actual bullying not just a clash of personalities or an irritating boss.

OP you've had two posters advise you not to bring other people into the grievance, it doesn't work like that! It has to be about how her actions and behaviours affect you personally. Not we, not other staff, you and only you.

Please read the advice given. What you've put in your latest update isn't fit for purpose and she ride a coach and horses through it, believe me.

My husband had to do this earlier in the year, the letter has to be factual, not just generalised statements. It ideally needs dates of when issues have happened and evidence of them, such as emails. He was advised not to include any other staff member.

My husband was paid to leave the company (which we were happy with as the job was making him miserable and HR's response proved to us what an awful company it was) so please be aware that this may result in you leaving.

I would involve the union (if there is one) and if everyone is unhappy, ask them to make an informal approach to someone senior. If there isn't one, do it yourselves. If it's just you raising a formal complaint you really need to show that she's consistently singling you out for mistreatment.

My husband was paid to leave the company (which we were happy with as the job was making him miserable and HR's response proved to us what an awful company it was) so please be aware that this may result in you leaving.

Just to be clear, the OP is highly unlikely to be given any payoff to leave. But they may be asked to leave anyway. Hence my cautionary note that putting in a grievance against one's boss in writing takes things to a very different and more serious level.

Each person's situation is different, but unless proven discrimination is involved here, there is zero incentive for the employer to get out their chequebook and pay the OP off.

I am very sorry english is not my first language. I have asked a friend to help me with writing it now. Sorry to bother you

I am very sorry english is not my first language. I have asked a friend to help me with writing it now. Sorry to bother you

OP please show you friend this thread because if you want them to represent you in writing s grievance you need them to see the advice given. It's in your best interests. Good luck.

Writing your grievance, that should say.

If you’re going to make a formal complaint then you need to have evidence in the form of specific examples. These should include dates and a full description of what happened and if possible witnesses. A general statement of she always micromanages etc. cant be proven or investigated.
It’s hard because you’ll feel like you’re sneaking around documenting all these incidents rather than dealing with it but it’s very important if you actually want formal action taken against your manager.

Having done this for my partner I agree you need to be careful as I ended up discarding about a third of her complaints as not being able to prove them.

What I did was create a document that listed the employee handbook guidelines on bullying and the acas guide to bullying. Then for each complaint where there was evidence based on emails, meetings, notes in systems i created a numbered list cross referenced to the guidelines showing which had been breached.

This ended up being about 30 pages and took around 8 hours to write. For each example we sat down and looked carefully to see how it could be interpreted and made sure the wording was very precise and factual.

It did work to a degree with hr stepping in to mediate, the performance improvement plan being scrapped but long term my partner changed jobs

I raised a grievance and only mentioned the specific people relevant to my points (eg if x attended a meeting with me and heard what y said).

You need to be far more detailed rather than 'going round in circles' - how has it actually affected you? What did she say or do and on what dates?