Halt trying for a baby for job?

[LindosDreams]

I recently lost a baby early on in pregnancy and want to start trying again fairly soon. I've just turned 39 and menopause tends to come early in my family so didn't want to wait too long. I'm not that happy in my current job and a job has come up somewhere else that I'm very tempted to apply for. The field I work in is quite specialised and jobs don't come up in other companies often. I currently have a 50 min drive to work and back and the other company is only 15 minutes away. I have a 2 year old boy so this will be much better when he starts at school.
If I go for this job I know we'll have to wait before trying for another but I don't know if I want to wait! I have a fear if I leave it even a few months I might miss the boat. Basically I wanted my 2nd child before I was 40 but that isn't looking likely now anyway.
Has anyone started a new job and got pregnant not long after? I feel it's massively unfair on my employers but I don't want to put my life on hold either as I may not even get pregnant again! Any advice would be appreciated x

Things happen, people get pregnant by accident or unfortunately also become chronically ill or have serious car accidents or whatever not long into a new job. If you were 29 it would make sense to wait,but as sadly but pragmatically you may not conceive or may have another loss it would be self destructive to put everything else on hold to TTC, and equally so to hold off TTC til you're 41, by which time chances are further reduced.

Probably best to go for the job and "see what happens" with conceiving - no birth control but just let it happen if it's going to.

Good luck and sorry for your loss

You don't know what's going to happen. I would still go for the job and still keep TTC. You might not get the job. TTC might not go to plan. Don't put off what you really want on the chance of a what if.

I would go for the new job, the commute will be very useful. I wouldn't put TTC on hold though.

I wouldn't put on hold for long, just long enough to qualify for statutory maternity pay. I know the pay isn't massive but really helped me to have a year off with our first child. Think I'll apply for the job and go from there x

I got pregnant whilst in the process of going from temp to perm in a job (found out I was pregnant the day after a perm opportunity became available) and honestly it wasn't a problem.. shit happens, employers deal with it.

My friend and colleague joined the company a while later not knowing she was pregnant and is shortly going on mat leave after only 6 months in the role. Again, not a problem AFAIK. There may be the odd eye roll in some directors office somewhere but so what?

I really don't feel this is as big a deal as some women think it is.

Thanks PrincessDando, even though I'm not in that situation yet and may never be, you made me feel better :-) xx

FYI, there won't be a huge financial difference either way.

If you get pregnant before starting the new job, or within a few days of starting, you will get Maternity Allowance which is £145/week for up to 39 weeks.

If you get pregnant a week or more after starting your new job, you will get SMP which is 90% of your salary for the first 6 weeks and then £145/week for up to 33 weeks after that.

It depends how much you earn, if you have a good salary and work full time it will be quite a big difference, but if you have a modest salary and/or work part time it won't make much of a difference.

The exact cut off between Maternity Allowance and SMP depends on your due date.

Anyway that was a long way of saying that I think you should apply for the job and just carry on TTC! Good luck with both!

PS I missed out on SMP by just a few days, but got Maternity Allowance and it was fine. I was nervous about telling my boss I was pregnant so soon after starting the job, but it was fine - in fact she was delighted for me and gave me a hug!