Realising you’re a different person after having children

[Chocolateyclaire76]

I recently went back to work after taking 6 years off to have children. I went back into a similar role in the same industry but after 3 months i’ve realised I’ve made the wrong decision. I was told by my manager that she was disappointed in me and that I need to think whether the industry is really for me, or not. It’s been both a reality check and wake up call which has left me numb, upset and confused.

Has anyone else experienced this?

What do you mean by ‘the wrong decision’, though? Wrong industry, wrong role?

What is the workfest topic for? I don't remember ever seeing it before - is it new?

Sorry I can't help with your query but intrigued by the topic

I think it's just a reaction to being told your manager is disappointed. If they feel you are not performing you should turn it on them to help you / train you. BUT I know in those circumstances you tend to just

I certainly feel less passionate about my career since children, m my life is not just work.

Hello Chocolatey, well done on making the decision to go back to work. It is hard going back after the usual 9 month/ 1 year may leave, let alone 6 years!

It’s not easy to have to juggle everything including work and my experience is that it takes a while to get re established into the workplace.

Doesn’t sound like you have a very supportive manager. To say they are disappointed with you after a mere 3 months is really unreasonable.

You have not made the ‘wrong’ decision. Yes, you may be a different person after children but that does not mean you cannot perform at your job if you are given the chance and the space to bring yourself back up to speed. You are not the problem, your manger is.

Don’t be harsh on yourself. You will get there. Maybe same industry different company. It’s easy for your passion for the job to dwindle if you are not feeling empowered and being put on edge. It will take you a while to feel confident again but that does not mean you should give up: it’s normal x

Why do you think it’s the wrong decision?

Thank you all for your words of support!

I guess the wrong decision is the decision to go back to the same industry, which is Fashion. I felt that I didn’t want to turn my back on 14 yrs experience but now i’m realising I need to be doing something more meaningful- I guess it’s all just taken me by surprise!

Maintaining any kind of career post-kids takes commitment to both the career and your family. If you can’t manage both then you need to reconsider whether being a working mum is for you. I guarantee that it would be tough in any industry not just fashion, especially if you know nothing about it!

I changed career completely after maternity leave and no one knew I had a child for the first couple of years. I never needed to mention it and no one knew as it wasn’t relevant. Nobody knew I was different person after having children because , er, I wasn’t. It wasn’t relevant to mention I even had a child.

I think you should seriously consider things before chucking all that experience. I went back to my pre-child career, and nothing had changed. I was more productive, and my bullshit radar was more finely-honed. It certainly didn’t feel any less ‘meaningful’.

Have you completely lost interest?

What is meaningful anyway?

I know the fashion industry seems very shallow. I've worked jobs connected to it myself in my head I was always saying 'no ones going to die' if their was some crisis about getting something on time. But there are so many jobs like this if you think about it.