Back to work interview

[neverbee]

I've been off work sick a few days with a chest infection and I'm going back tomorrow (not 100% but well enough to work)

I can't sleep because I know I'll have to arrange a return to work interview and I feel like I might spill my guts about how stressed I've been feeling and I'm not sure what sort of light that will cast on me - could it impact upon my career progression? Would they treat me any differently or make things worse?

Basically I've been under constant pressure for the last 3 months which have caused me to lose sleep, snap at the kids, be incredibly unfair to my DH. In work I have this feeling of panic in my chest that I'm going to miss a deadline or someone relying on me is going to be let down to the point where I feel like if one more thing happens I'm going to snap.

I can't go on like this and have a drs appointment but I don't think I'm depressed or suffering from anxiety I am pretty sure it is all work related stress and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

So do I tell them in my return to work meeting how I've been feeling and get it all out in the open? Will it even change anything if I do? Could it make things worse?

Really cannot sleep at all. Now only 5 hours til I have to get up. Just went downstairs and tidied the kitchen. Back in bed with hot milk in the hope it makes me sleepy.

Any advice?

Hi, so sorry you are feeling this way.

I would say it sounds like you need to say something about how you are feeling rather than going on suffering in silence, but the reaction you get will probably depend to some extent on how you approach the conversation. 'Spilling your guts' and becoming a huge emotional wreck is one approach but depending on your boss may or may not be helpful!

For myself I would probably try (and I know it's hard when you are in the midst of it!) and articulate in a calm and structured way what it is which is causing you to feel so stressed, the impact that is having on you, and what your suggested solutions and resolutions are. If you think that will be hard I might try writing in down and taking with me (not to read off word by word but as a prompt), and/or 'role playing' the conversation with a family member or friend in advance (bit cringy but does work!).

I don't know if your workplace follows the Health and Safety executive's recommendations on stress risk assessment but even if they don't you could self-assess yourself through the process as I find it a helpful way of sifting out what is stressful but an inherent part of the role (e.g. if your role is to man a complaints desk, you will have to sometimes work with angry and difficult customers and that probably is not something you or your boss can change) and what is down to working practices and can be changed (e.g. if you are not given sufficient control over the resolution for customers or if you are being asked to respond in an unreasonable timescale then that is also stressful but crucially can be changed). Here is the template and guidance:

www.hse.gov.uk/stress/risk-assessment.htm

I would be optimistic and say if you are able to approach a conversation in a positive frame of mind and make it about improving things and working better then there's no reason why your boss should think less of you or damage your career prospects. Frankly even if s/he is a complete ogre and will rip your head off at the smallest sign of weakness, it sounds like for your own sake and your health you need to try and make some changes and/or get out of there pronto!

Good luck.

Take yourself to the doctors and tell them how you're feeling. You're dreading going into work, so work is clearly getting on top of you.

If you don't want to do that, talk to your line manager or HR directly. They don't want you to crash out, they'd much rather have you there happy.

When I was working & had been off sick I used to dread returning to work because I knew I had to attend a "back to work" meeting. I honestly think that they were introduced to put off workers from going off sick.

Thanks for the advice. I'm feeling much better today - I took another day off as when I woke to do the school run I was really not myself still but I'm definitely back in tomorrow and feeling better about it too. I think perhaps I thought I was better than I was last night.

Going mention the key things that are a concern for me and try not to let myself get overwhelmed. Will keep my drs appointment next week to talk through how I've felt but not expecting much to come of it.