Christmas ‘Do’ and don’t want to go....

[GaynorGoodwin]

Sorry this might sound a bit miserable and unchristmassy but the thought of having to spend an evening out with some of the colleagues I work with just fills me with dread. Working with them (at times) has been bad enough let alone socialising....
Anyone feel,the same way... bah humbug.....

Im not going to mine either. Too much faff and id really prefer to go home and snuggle with husband!

I would hate that too. You have my sympathies. I would really, really try to wriggle out of it.

So don't go. It's personal, unpaid time for you to spend as you please.
"Ah, what a shame, that doesn't work for me. I have plans. Maybe next year. Have a great time".

The problem with mine is that its during work hours. 1 to 5 in a city not where we work and i already have an hour commute in the opposite direction. So im not travelling to work to then get a bus to the city for 4 hours with no way of getting back to my car and no drinking either. Fuck that. Ive only been there 3 months and someone told me people who dont go are expected to work. Fine. Id rather do that!

I'm not going to ours. It is in work time but it doesn't suit me to go for other reasons. It's always crap.

Fortunately we are just having a meal immediately after work close to the office. Not too much small talk and home by 8pm

I haven’t been to a Christmas meal for a decade! Don’t go if you don’t want to!

I declined the office do, but had to sign up for the team do as couldn't really say no. Fortunately a job interview came along for the same day though! Really glad to get out of it, it's painful. My team doesn't function very well so it feels really phoney to be pulling crackers and having drinks with people who aren't very nice to me the rest of the year.

I'm trying to think of an excuse to get out of mine. Our team Xmas do is after work and is halfway across London. I'd rather be at home with my family.

Sympathies. Luckily I work in the public sector so our Christmas parties (such as they ever were!) are getting smaller and more casual each year. But I can be quite shy and socially awkward so I get what a chore it is.

Would it help to treat it as just that, a mildly annoying work chore you have to do once a year? So go with no particular expectation that you will enjoy yourself, but a box to be ticked to maintain good working relationships with your colleagues? I sometimes even set myself little objectives (sad act alert!) like:

-Make small talk with boss for 5 mins
-Buy my team/people who have been particularly helpful in the last year a drink and say thank you
-Find someone else who looks shy and lonely and chat about how much we hate Christmas parties!
-Talk to two new people who I don't know well and find out more about them
-Compliment two colleagues on their outfits/haircuts/christmas decorations/whatever

I don't much like doing this and it is a totally formulaic/false approach to 'socialising' but it works for me in a work context and once I've done my list I give myself permission to leave and be alone for a few hours (grinch!)

Kemer is right, don't go. Your well-being is more important than feeling forced into a social occasion that feels like an extended lunch break. Maybe another time, another day, you'll feel like going, but this time, opt out politely.
@blueberrybytes

Yes, Im with you.Even when I have liked my work colleagues, I have never really wanted to spend time or money on outside work socialising, especially near christmas. Just decline, life is too short.

Especially when you have to spend money on the meal. I have used that as an excuse, ‘sorry just can’t afford this at Christmas time.’ I have also just been honest and said I didn’t want to, made a joke out of it about being unsociable/ introverted. Some people won’t take no for an answer though, it can be so difficult. I pray no one in my team pipes up about Christmas meal etc this year...