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feel embarrassed

6 replies

loosenknot · 28/11/2018 19:55

I took a ten year break from work to raise the kids. I used to love my work. An extremely clever friend offered me a three month well paid job. I had reservations because I knew I'd be rusty - but I had no idea how rusty. I used to be able to do stuff if I put my mind to it - it turns out I'm a different person.

I can't think fast. I have to divide my time up between home and work(I'm a single parent). My profession is one where you have to really keep alert tot he world around you, and I haven't paid it one fig of attention for the last ten years.
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When my boss gives me targeted jobs like - research that and summarise this (like an intern) I'm fine. I can happily understand, research, digest. But the work is now more amorphous. She needs me to think in a way I'm not used to and also to present the work like her. Not in an arsey way - she is an intellectually generous person and wants me to do well. But it seems I can't do it! It's reached some horrible point now where she needs me to do something tomorrow and I have tried all day - hours and hours and I literally can't. I can't seem to think (In my defence it involves putting what I've done in a format I've never done before). I've failed miserably. It is so humiliating. I feel I can never work again.

I was going to resign and just ask her to keep the money to use on someone else. I'm already working extra days without charge (not telling her, she wouldn't ask it, but I'm so slow I have to to do it to see pup). She was so happy when I started and I've let her down to the point that I've started to skulk around her and try and work out how to never see her again in my life once I finish the contract.

it's really depressing. .more depressing is I quite like working and could never now ask for a reference. I'd like a job. if this job had worked it would have been perfect for me in many way. if I'd had six months to learn it - by the end of the year I'd probably be alright.

OP posts:
SexNotJenga · 28/11/2018 19:57

You're making a lot of assumptions in your OP. You need to let your boss know what's going on so they have a chance to support you. Seriously.

mimibunz · 28/11/2018 20:03

Best to just be honest with her and suggest some training to help you develop the skills you need. You can absolutely do the job, but you need some support during the transition period. Hang in there!

LadyLapsang · 28/11/2018 23:12

Just tell her how you are feeling. You have been out 10 years. Give yourself a break. Good luck.

thegeniewaylimited · 29/11/2018 08:14

Hey there!

I work with a lot of companies in supporting mums getting back into work. What you are experiencing I want you to know, from my experience - is normal.

There are lots of worries and fears around going back. What I'd do (as I'm a coach) is I'd look at what your worries and fears are about going back to work, then write them down.

Next to each one, then write down out of 10 how intense that worry/fear is.

Once you have done this, i'd find someone professional to work through this with you.

Remember you ARE GOOD ENOUGH for this and you CAN get back to work just as you did before, all you need to do is remove the obstacles (worry/fear) - if you don't know how to do this yourself, try and find someone who can help you.

Hugs x

BumbleyBum · 29/11/2018 08:18

Please book a meeting with her and talk through your worries. You’ll feel so much better to get it off your chest. Please don’t leave the ghost her. She knows you to do it. You can do it.

GaynorGoodwin · 01/12/2018 19:57

Oh please don’t suffer in silence. Go speak with your boss and tell her how you are struggling with this. Good luck x

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