Working from home /Good or bad/Chidminding as alternative

[MrsPuddleduck]

I have just started working from home and am finding it difficult. I started off with my ds (18months) at home with me but he was screaming for attention and generally turning the place over while I tried to work so I have had to send him to a childminder while I get on.

Now I am sat at home feeling guilty as I would rather have him here and be looking after him myself. Fridays are worst as the childminder takes him to Monkey Music and that really upsets me as I feel he should be with me doing these things and not someone else. Would like to point out that childminder is fantastic and I know that I am being selfish.

I am now thinking of becoming a childminder myself as at least then I can look after my own child but I can't earn as much money.

Bascially, I am starting to lose sleep over the whole thing and also have recently found mumsnet and am completely distracted from work!

oh poor you - welcome to mumsnett - this old dilema eh ? I am sure plenty of others will be here soon with words of wisdom.
How many days / hrs are you working ?

Only three mornings so I am being a bit pathetic really. It just doesn't feel right being at home. I think if I went out to work it would be easier mentally, however, have a bit of a cushty number so would be daft to give it up!

Still might though!

Tell us more. Can you afford to not work. No point if it is making you unhappy.

Hi, I do this too, slightly more than you though, i do 18 hrs a week spread over 3 days during which time my little ones go to a childminder. I find too that if I slack off even a tiny bit i feel guilty about notworking while they are being looked after by someone else. Having said this, I find we're all much happier to reunite at the end of the day than we would be if we'd spent all day every day together, iyswim. Could you not switch your days around so you have friday's with him and go to the activities you like with him?

Friday is my busy day so I have to have childcare and work on this day.

As for money - we can barely afford to live where we do on my husbands salary and me working is the difference between going on holiday and not or being able to buy clothes for oursevles and not just the children as we do at the moment.

For me I suppose I have to decide whether to compromise a small amount of time and try and make a lot of money or whether to keep looking after my boys, My heart is telling me to give up the job and childmind as I think I would really enjoy it - but I can hardly hear it over my head which is telling me to earn more money.

I don't know whether or not it is because I have just started and that I'll get used to it after a while. It's funny, because I went out to work after I had my first son and didn't really feel this way.

Tricky. Childminding is def not an easy option though. Hard work, before you've even started. I wonder why you feel this way now.
Bump for more advice please.
I am sure lots of others have the right 'probing questions' to atleastsuggest seom alternatives.

I'm sure part of this feeling is linked to being in the house, which we associate with being with our children - i know it feels weird when there's no noise in the house and i'm alone here. When you're in an office, even in a part time capacity its not the same context so you don't tend to think about home/family so much.
When i was first here (we recently moved) i didn't have internet at home and had to go to a hotel to be able to pick up my mails and work, and in a strange way this felt easier than truly working at home. Maybe this would be an option?
Agree with Oblomov about childminding - v hard work I would have thought.

Poor you. I agree, some of the things you are feeling are probably to do with being in the house without the children. Personally, I would give it a go for a bit longer, you don't sound convinced one way or the other really.
Childminding as an option? It is hard and there's no guarantee that you'll get the mindees to look after as soon as you qualify anyway and that would mean you aren't earning anything.
I think you have to decide whats more important to you, the money and quality of life or spending all day, every day with your children. Remember the grass is always greener, so stick with it for a few more weeks at least. Good luck!

Sounds like you need to stick with what you are doing and focus on getting your head round it.

The hours are good, the pay is good and gives you the things you listed, the childminder is great etc. On top of this your son is probably having a great time, doing other things and having social interaction etc.

Surely you can take him to something like monkey music during the 2 full days and 3 afternoons you don't work?

I don't think you are being selfish but it sounds like a guilt trip to me that you need to nip in the bud before it eats away at you.

Is your working area suitable for home - is it a specific area that you use for work only that you can switch off from family/home things? Try and make it as neutral as possible with no photos or toys etc so you don't feel like you are at home.

Thanks for all of the advice. I think that I am going to give it a bit longer before I try something else (well at least until work gets me completely fed up and demoralised).

I might still try and register as a childminder in the meantime and leave my options open.

Things like money music are great cos you get to see your friends as well. Could it be that you are missing grown ups as well as your ds? Can you take a short break once a day and meet friends for coffee/lunch instead? What about actually working in an office with others rather than from home?