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References and returning to work

3 replies

thisiscoffee · 27/11/2018 14:23

I went on maternity leave 4 years ago, and then decided not to return to work so resigned 3 years ago. I am now looking to do some volunteering before returning to work when DC starts Reception next year. Sorry, this is a bit long.

My concern is about references and a stupid mistake I made when I resigned. I resigned via phone and email to my Line Manager and HR. Did not go into the office as this wasn't required. It took HR two weeks to process my resignation and then I received an email from my Line Manager to say a personal thank you from her for my contributions over the years and wishing me well for my wedding and for the future.

I didn't respond, not because I didn't intend to but because the email arrived a few days before I was getting married and I was stressed out, I then developed a D&V bug 2 days before the wedding as did our 1 year old DC; I then had a serious falling out with my DM and we have no contact since, following by a miscarriage, and then I had an accident which has left me with nerve damage. So, in the midst of this very stressful time the last thing I remembered was to acknowledge my Line Manager's email.

I remembered a few months later and by then I was too embarrassed to reply, and would certainly not have done so giving any of the personal reasons I have stated above as a reason for the delay. I guess I should have replied but I didn't, so now I'm really worried she will think I am rude and give me a poor reference.

I worked for the company for 11 years (and with LM for most of this time so I know her well) and have an excellent work track record, and always had great Performance Reviews. My former colleague says when she left before me it was company policy for HR to only state he basic information of you having worked there, and not give references. However, I believe some prospective employers will want a reference from someone who has managed you? My former colleague said she is happy to be a personal referee if required.

My Line Manager is now a Director I have heard, and has possibly long forgotten about me and, knowing her as I did, probably has better things to do than write me a reference if needed. Who on earth should I put down if an employer wants a work-related reference? The company has gone through a significant restructure since I left and all the other managers in that department have now gone, and I have never kept in contact with them anyway.

I feel so worried that this is going to affect my job prospects. Or am I over-thinking this?

OP posts:
pippistrelle · 27/11/2018 14:41

You're completely over-thinking it. But I've been there and done that myself on returning to work after a four year break. In the end, it seemed like no-one else cared. It'll be important to have your employment confirmed so you can provide HR details for that.

I would also say it isn't too late to contact your former manager just to say that you're looking to return to work now and as your last direct line manager would it be all right to provide her contact details if necessary?

ShalomJackie · 27/11/2018 14:52

I think you are overthinking it too. She sent you a thank you. You don't sned her a thank you for that thank you.

I would pick the phone up and calk her. Tell her you are looking at doing some volunteering and can you out her as referee? Also mention you might be lookibg at going back to work next year. You never know she might say to get in touch when you start looking

Alfie190 · 28/11/2018 11:56

I would not worry about this for a second.

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