Feeling anxious about returning to work after a settlement agreement

[florabel]

I had to leave my job after a settlement agreement following a campaign of bullying that left me ill. It had the residual effect of leaving me with anxiety symptoms and depression for the last year. Although my anxiety attacks have all but disappeared, I am feeling massively anxious about going back to work or even looking for a job. It is something that I have to do as I am not wealthy but I am feeling very scared about my age (46) going against me, what to say in an interview about why I left my last job and whether I will be able to cope.

Sorry, I know it sounds really sad and pathetic and I hate myself for having such irrational thoughts but each time I think about it, my heart hammers and I feel panicky. If anyone else has been in the same situation, can you tell me how it was for you and how you coped with the situation? Thank you x

Hi - I know of some one who left a job and had a settlement agreement. Part of the agreement was a reference, so she didn't say anything about the settlement. I shouldn't think that your ex firm would want to admit the bullying you endured.

If asked, I would say that I wanted a change and a move to xxx role would give me the opportunity to develop x,y,z skills.

Good luck and don't overthink things.

Thank you Chottie. I also got an agreed reference as part of the settlement and have been away from work for just over a year now. My anxiety was so bad that I couldn't even think about going back until recently as I was a bit of a mess with full blown panic attacks coming out of nowhere.

They won't ask you at the interview why you left your last job. If they do, they are inept interviewers, you never ask those sorts of questions when you are trying to get the person to show themselves in a positive light.

If it comes up in the references process, you are well within your rights to say you are under the terms of a non disclosure agreement, and they won't bother asking for any further information as they know it is a legal agreement.

If it gets to the point when they are offering you a job, they will have been impressed with what you can offer their organisation, so don't worry about it. Just focus in doing a great interview!

This happened to me.

I was demoted after maternity leave so I immediately signed up with a recruitment agency to find a way out. I raised a grievance with my employer and ended up signed off sick with anxiety and depression. When they dismissed my grievance, they also made the offer for my settlement. I mulled it over for a couple of days, totally overwhelmed by thoughts of what this would mean for my future career, like you.

I'd been very open with the recruitment agency about the circumstances leading to me contacting them, and they were understanding. Coincidentally, they rang me with a temp position on the day I signed my settlement agreement.

I got the job. In my medical forms, it asked about mental health, and I said that I was being treated for a&d. I wasn't sure if this would be shared with my boss, or just kept on file, but I thought it would be better to let my new boss know so that she would understand if I got caught in self confidence drainpipe and it started affecting my work performance. She was really understanding, and so encouraging. I was made permanent at the end of my temp contract and I've been there nearly 3 years now. I have a new boss who also knows the history, and when there was some restructuring earlier this year when I was on maternity leave, she met me to go through the changes so that I didn't think that the same thing was going to happen again.

I totally understand how dark a place you're in, but hopefully this will show you that it can be OK again with the right people around you. It's one of those situations where you want to be better before you go back to work, but the longer you're off, the anxiety tells you the harder it will be to go back. You'll never know until you try, but in my experience, if you explain as much as the SA will let you, there are good people out there who will want to help. Good luck!

Sympathies OP, sounds like you went through a horrible experience but kudos to you for coming out of it with a reasonable outcome and determination to get back into the workplace.

It's its any help I really think many many people go through something similar, and it absolutely does not mean they can't go on to get another job and be very successful and happy, the reasons why this can happen are so wide ranging from a mismatch in job expectations, changes in jobs and teams over times, personality clashes, bullying, bad management etc etc, and when the person is out of that situation they can flourish elsewhere.

Just to reassure you, many employers won't ask why you left your last job at all, or if they do, all you need is a short answer which can be a bit of a white lie, you can say something like 'I chose to take a short career break to spend time with my family' or similar. Can you practice saying it out loud so you get comfortable with it?

Could you perhaps do some temp work to get you back into the flow of working and even try out some different kinds of work and workplaces, to see what suits you? Also are you getting some medical help for your anxiety and depression symptoms?

Best of luck!

A little bit off track but a poster up thread suggested that it would be bad practice to ask someone why they left their last job. It is a pretty standard question isn't it? And on many application forms. I almost always ask as I want to know what has interested someone about the job I'm advertising.

In the case of you op I wouldn't be put off by an answer that it wasn't the right job for you and you want something more like x y z from the job description