Yes of course it’s possible, plenty of mums and dads do!
Stop over thinking the whole ‘having it all’ thing (meaningless phrase, no one has it ‘all’) and focus on creating the life you want.
Oh the face of it it sounds as though you’re not very career driven because you’re not intending to return after maternity leave. Which is fine but obviously you’ll need to accept that you’re making different choices from a mum who wants to stay in the work place and returns after ML.
FWIW I don’t feel my career has suffered much, but realistically I would probably have achieved more (and had a slightly better pension!) if I hadn’t worked part time for a few years when my children were babies. If I’d stepped straight back into full time then I could probably have gone a bit further career wise, but doing 3 days a week while the children were under 5 seemed a good trade off to me.
There are so many variables- do you intend to have more children and possibly take another 3 years out? Are you intending to keep your skills up to date while you’re out of the workplace? Do you have a partner who takes your career as seriously as their own?
There are no rights/ wrongs, and nothing is simple once you have kids! We spent several years in austerity because for a while, our childcare bill equated to my take home pay! But then we chose to have 3 children and i took short Maternity leaves because I was keen to keep a foothold in the workplace.
My advice is to completely throw away the ridiculous phrase ‘having it all’, and stop feeling that you’ve been ‘let down’ by modern feminism. (Btw the phrase having it all doesn’t sound remotely modern, it sounds very dated.) Build your life in the way you and your partner want in a way that brings fulfilment for both of you.