I'm a single parent and can't find work anywhere due to lack of experience. So I registered on a course for lone parents where they supposedly help you find work and put you on a voluntary work placement. Anyway I got my work placement doing admin for the NHS which was what I wanted but its nothing like it was supposed to be.
For the first week I got there and was told by the woman "looking after me" that she wasn't sure what she was supposed to give me to do...that day I litrally sat on a chair staring out of the window from 10am until 2pm when it was time to leave.
The next day was no better, she was visibly stressed that I was there and had nothing to do so she decided to set my nhs email address up, this took from 10:30 until 2pm..again it involved me sitting on the same chair doing nothing.
Finally she admitted that there simply was nothing for me to do there so she got in touch with a collegue who worked in an area that specifically interested me and she agreed to "look after me" for 1 day a week. I thought this was a nice gesture but the exact same thing happened there expect this time its a busy office and I felt stupid just sat there whilst everyone else worked around me.
This has gone on now for the past 3 weeks, finally both places asked me to "sort the filing cabinets out" which took 2 days each and I don't think they really needed it doing, it was just to keep me busy and the second placement set me on a project to find all the comunity centres in the city and find out what facilities they have...they say its really important but again I feel like its not something that actually needs doing so it all seems pointless.
It's all making me feel useless, I get referred to as "that job centre trainee" and I always go in knowing that I'm the "unemployed single mum amongst the people with real jobs", last week I walked into the busy office and the woman thats supposed to be looking after me looked at me and said "erm..." and looked around the office at a loss of what to do with me, the rest of the office burst out laughing and it made me feel ridiculous although I know she didnt mean it maliciously...
The thing is I feel like I can't give it up as its the only thing going for me at the moment, plus a "real job" is coming up in the busy office and I want to apply for it and I feel I stand a better chance if I'm already there voluntarily...thing is this brings me to another problem, if I dont get it it's going to make it very awkward when the new person starts as I'll know she/he was chosen over me for the job, I'd be working there for nothing still while they'd be getting paid for the same job.
I feel so stressed about it all, I feel trapped and I dread going in every morning, resent it because I'm not being paid but feel like I can't give it up either.