Return to fulltime work after 11 years. Decision time

[jwpetal]

I am about to have my final interview to start what is called a 'returnship'. I haven't worked for 11 years and just turned 50 with 3 kids 11 and twins 9. I am going through the process, but can't really see how we can manage with me working and looking for advice. My husband works long hours and I don't have to work outside the home, but I just feel I need something more.

The worry is how school breaks will be managed and after school. My 11 year old should be okay. He can do after school classes. How do you manage this time. Am I being selfish or stupid to take this role on when I could remain at home. We don't have a lot extra but it is doable. Thoughts?

I think the difficulty may be that your husband is used to you doing everything for the children. If course it is doable, but it will be difficult if he isn't billing to take on some extra responsibilities.

Lots and lots and lots of people manage in the same situation. And you're not unreasonable at all in wanting to return to the workplace.

You learn to be artful with your annual leave for starters. Your husband will need to pitch in. As you don't need the money presumably the household pot will have lots spare for the kids to do activities in the holidays.

Why not give it a go and see what happens? Utilise after school care or find an au pair? School holiday clubs and sharing annual leave with your dh or friends.

Thank you. I finally got him to look at budget and options. He is starting to come around. Holidays will be difficult, but a couple of friends said we can work together.

We have no family to turn to do friends make a difference.

How did the interview go? I have been worrying getting employment at my age (44) if (or when) I lose my job due to redundancy or relocation, it is such a positive story from you.

I would say your kids will be fine, childminder will be a good option too as they work during holidays or they normally let you know in advance what days/weeks they won't be available.

You are not selfish at all, your youngest is already 9, they spend most of the time in school, why not earn some extra cash to spend on them or save up for something yourself or the whole family could enjoy.

Breakfast and after school clubs for the younger DC’s. If you do drop offs, your DH collects. For sick days you and your DH take it in turns. Holidays you cover with your and your DH’s annual holiday entitlement with holiday clubs for the rest.

Running the house, food shopping, laundry, cleaning, children’s activities you split between you and get a cleaner if you can afford it.

Snap. Same dilemma. I know everyone does it but I do wish those elusive fantastic part time, high powered jobs would somehow materialise. I think future generations will laugh at us (millennials already do...)

Just go for it
Look on local authority sites for childcare or Facebook local groups. Until you know where to look you won't know where other people find things as you haven't needed it

It is super possible
You're just having a last minute wobble. I worked FT with 3 under 4 - your situation is much much easier

But it up for the kids eg maybe more hols or some benefit to them. The fun of Ayer school clubs.

If it's Lloyds / Banks/ big 4 you can usually take unpaidleave.

I bought extra hols so 35 days and take 6 unpaid in addition usually

DH does school runs in morning and we both wfh one day per week

Go for it, life's o short and work is interesting !

@jwpetal I am in a very similar position. I have worked (very) part time as a sole trader for 10 years and at almost age 50 and with last DC about to start high school next year I am starting to think about going back to employment as like you I feel I need something more and would like to be part of a team again.

I have recently applied for a part time job as it ticks a lot of boxes but was actually just a bit too soon as I was hoping to look around and maybe start in Sept next year. I now have an interview for this job and if I get it will be in the same situation as you thinking how will we manage school runs and holidays with DH working long hours.

I don't think you are being selfish at all and I see many parents manage working lives far more tricky than mine will be.

In the end I think we will cope with a combination of wfh, DH doing some school runs, friends helping out in emergencies only (don't want to be a CF) and extending hol entitlements where possible.

I'm in rather the same boat, hence looking at this thread! What came of your final interview?

Sorry for my silence. I had an all day assessment day on Monday and very surprisingly made it through. They want me to start mid November, but I am trying to push for a January start. Purely to get everything organised....though realize I think it is because my DH is struggling with it all. The position is a returnship for professionals out of work for at least 2 years. I will have 7 weeks of training - apparently very intense - then work full -time.

Too be honest, some of the benefits are not as good as other companies, but I really like the structure of easing me in and I am excited about the position....though I may say differently in a few months.

Now trying to find childminders and wondering if I can get someone to come to my home so that my year 7 ds will not be alone.

Having a few sleepless nights and wondering if I am rocking the boat, but I am excited.

Congratulations! You’ll soon develop a routine - just don’t try and do everything you currently do. Your DH will have to step up and take time off to cover sickness and school holidays and do 50% around the house, food shopping, cooking, laundry etc.

I think my next post will be about to do lists and how to split the work with my dh and how do we manage the bank accounts.

We’ve done the same for the past 20 years as I went back to work full time when DT’s were six months. Some were easy - DH dropped off at nursery/school and I collected. I did the shopping Friday lunchtime and then we used the wonderful online shopping. Both salaries into one bank account and all bills on standing order. Equal amount transferred from the main account to our personal accounts. Who bought DT’s clothes and shoes and sorted out birthdays evolved over the years with the odd occasion when one of them was going to a party and neither of us had remembered to buy the card and present!

Well done op!!! Im in a similar situation. Full time in Jan after 10yrs out of work, also in a training programme. Am slowly starting to train my husband as he has gotten used to the good life

I am 56.

I never did return to work.

I work from home instead- self employed. A brilliant option for me.