How can I help 17 year old son

[fl0baDob]

My 17 year old son is currently NEET (I know this is an outdated term, but it describes his situation). He did not complete his formal education due to a serious anxiety issue and a family crisis left school in Y.9). He received very part time education at home and in a PRU and gained 1 GCSE (Maths) at grade 2 and Functional Skills English at level 1.

He had 1 week in college (Sept 2017) on a preparation for employment course, then simply stopped attending. From February to May this year, he attended a Military Preparation Course, then dropped out because he was deferred from applying to the Army due to a prescription for an inhaler (he can re-apply in 4 years).

To his credit he was offered three apprenticeships ( Entry level, relating to motor vehicles). He took the apprenticeship at a local garage, then left after half a day.

For the past two months, we have been applying for any unskilled, part time jobs in the local area, hoping that just a few hours of working and earning will help him get used to work and cope with adapting his routine.

However, he is having no luck at all. At 17, with no work experience, no references, no real qualifications, he is meeting a dead end with most applications and this is lowering his mood.

Please can anyone tell me where I can go for some help. Money is tight in our household (just my son and me) and this adds another pressure to the employment situation (I have four part time jobs, mainly but not exclusively working from home).

I am sorry if this is the wrong forum for this question.

The priority is resolving the anxiety situation surely. Then getting him back to college. Only then think about work.

What’s the reason he quits everything? Is it anxiety related? If so I agree that needs to be addressed.

What about volunteer work to build confidence and build his CV? Lots of ideas on do-it.org. Any organisations locally that offer supports for needs? Or something like The Prince’s Trust?

Maybe look into traineeships rather than apprenticeships as an introduction to study and employment?

Why did he leave the apprenticeship? Is he expected to resit the level 2s in Maths and English, if so could he do this alongside a Public Services level 2 which is seen as a general introduction to the uniformed services and includes outdoor activities.

Yes, I agree. He really needs to continue education, gain confidence and get used to being with people. However, he is very hostile to the idea of education and I was wondering if there were any services that could help. I feel a little alone in this situation and I know how demoralising it can be to keep applying for jobs and never to get anything.

He has an EHCP, but the LA keep saying we should discontinue this since he is not in education.

Is he under CAMHS. He seems to get opportunities but is not in the right mental state to follow them through. I think his condition may need to be resolved first. Are there possibly underlying issues like ADHD or ASD in the background?

What about something like this? www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/get-job/get-experience Supportive work experience placement which can lead to employment. They also have online training with a mentor which he could do as an initial step?

I have a 15 year old with anxiety & other issues - also on an EHCP. Still in school though. He was very keen to find a few hours work, but struggled for a few months because most are 16+. However, he did find one, completely independently in the end - he does one or two shifts a week at the local golf club. It’s hard because you can’t do the job hunting for them, but from what I’ve seen in our small rural town, pubs & cafes/other hospitality outlets may have something if he watches on social media, or even better, goes in & asks. My friend’s 16 year old heard from another friend about an evening vacancy just packing orders in the local Chinese takeaway? And once your son is 18, the local supermarkets might be interested. But he really would be best showing initiative and going in & asking. Alternatively, maybe back to college for the preparation for work courses or if he lacks the confidence for the above, it may be time to look at visiting the GP. He may also be eligible for PIP, which would take some financial pressure off?

Thank you for the replies.

It is those small part time jobs in shops and o on for which he is applying at the moment. I hope that he will engage in something like the Prince's Trust, but he is quite loathe to do anything connected to education (at the moment),

His older brother has autism and is in residential care and my 17 year old son was referred for assessment over a year ago but refused to engage in it. He was under CAMHS from the age of 14-16, but again, stopped engaging in the services.

My DS struggles massively with anxiety but really enjoyed one shift a week at Oxfam. He didn't feel any pressure to perform because it was voluntary and consequently was very useful. It gave him a bit of confidence as well as a reference.

A few people have mentioned Princes Trust which I could definately recommend as it is designed for situations such as you've described, not only does it slowly introduce a routine but also focuses on building confidence and arranges work experience placements. There is normally a one week residential where the students cook for themselves and get to do lots of activities as well as fund raise for it in the first place. It's honestly a great scheme and I've seen some excellent results. As a bonus, students can also claim back any bus fares and will be reimbursed to make travel easier. Worth a look. X

Thank you again for the replies. I am going to make some more enquiries about the Princes Trust.

Another vote for the prince's trust.

Also get him to the GP for help with anxiety.