Meeting with director - what to say about issues with new job

[PrincessDando]

I posted earlier about a new job I've taken which is turning out to be unsuitable, mainly because my manager is treating more like an assistant to her , when I was expecting a lot more autonomy and to be able to deal with issues from clients directly rather than them all coming through her and she doling out little bits of work to me. Also she's not giving me much work at all as it seems she wants to keep it all for herself. So I'm bored and hacked off and have started looking elsewhere.

Anyway... I have a welcome meeting with her boss's boss, so 3 levels above me, next week. I'm bound to be asked how i'm finding it, what the fuck do I say?

If I say how I really feel, they may do something about it but then again boss may get defensive and turn it against me and say I'm the problem? I'm only on a weeks notice so very vulnerable.

I could say nothing and just keep looking elsewhere.

Or is there some sort of middle ground where I hint that all is not well without going into the gory details?

I wish I wasn't meeting this director now, but can't get out of it. Do they really want to know if there's a problem or is it just a tick box for them so they can say they've done the meet and greet? Don't wanna sour relationship with boss but TBH its kind of soured anyway as I feel the job I've been given wasn't what it was portrayed at interview.

Whilst I'm fairly certain I will move on, I don't know how long its going to take to get another job and if things can improve in the short term that will keep me going until something else comes up. Also I kind of feel like I should tell someone how unhappy I've been, but will this backfire?

I'd tip your manager off as you suggested. Don't let her walk into the meeting unprepared as that could break your relationship permanently.

I'm sure her boss will fill her in on Monday, before the actual meeting which won't be til the week after as we are all in different locations.

It's just whether she speaks to me first, so hope not!

Couldn't raise it with boss as she's part of the problem!

Have you had any discussions at all with your immediate boss to say the role isn't what you expected or to ask why you aren't dealing with clients directly? If you haven't I agree with loopy, you should have asked for clarity on the role from your boss and it is entirely inappropriate to raise for the first time with the director.

She didn’t raise it, the director asked.

I wouldn't have sought out the director but now I have spoken I think it's entirely appropriate I raised it with her as she has a VERY different view of how my role should operate to that of my boss.

Boss's boss is now in the loop and agrees both roles need to be redefined.

So, my boss has just found out and had a massive go at me.

Unexpected I think we hit all the points on your list. In one phone call.

If anyone is planning to make any comments of the 'I told you so' variety please can you be aware that this is a really sensitive time for me and I'm quite upset.

I know what'll happen now. I'll become the problem. My P45 awaits.

Boss's boss wants us to have a meeting next week, but already he's switching to her side a bit (she phoned him in tears) and lets face it this is not a battle Im likely to win.

She's particularly denying that I'd ever not get my own clients (bullshit, she even told a client I was just supporting her in front of me) or that she's failed to give me a proper induction (leaving me with sod all to do for days on end) as I was ill when I first started and she 'wasn't sure if I was fully better yet'.

oh well do I really want to work for this woman?

I'm sorry op.

Have you got email evidence from her re you asking for clients etc? There must be clear differences between your worklads and the other new people taken on in a similar role but with different line managers.

I'd be looking for another job but I would stand up to all her tears and upset with the cold hard facts, don't let her pin it on you here, you haven't done anything wrong.

I'm sorry. To be honest I don't think there's anything you could have done differently to make the outcome better.

Just protect yourself now. Everything in writing, everything documented, as much as possible witnessed. But keep job hunting. As you say, do you want to work for this boss?

Sorry again.

I sent her an email later saying could we have a chat tomorrow to just clear the air (meeting with big boss not til end of next week). She's ignored it. Tells me all I need to know.

Putting yourself in her shoes though, what were you expecting? (Not being sarcastic.) She’s not going to reply and say ‘Yes you’re right, I’ve been incompetent. Thank you for pointing it out to my boss’s boss so we can work to improve things.”

Hopefully you’ve learned from it for your next role.

Little bit harsh Karting? Thing is, if OP has pretended to the Director that everything was fine it would have just delayed the inevitable show down.

Maybe try killing with kindness and flattery. Oh Boss, I so enjoy working here, I can't wait to learn from you, I'm really keen to stuck in and contribute, I'm so sorry if there's been any misunderstanding, I so admire your skills and knowledge...

Sounds like a boss I had - bloody awful - no work or very little then critised what I did do.

Had long meetings with nothing left

Made to man the phones when I had no idea about protocol or deadlines or how systems worked etc and then pull me up in front of the whole office.

I told the boss (in tears as I couldn't face going to work)

He pulled her in

She denied everything

I handed my notice in

Got a job the same day

Just leave

Karting I was expecting her to take the feedback that I had very little to do - as director had said this was because there was a new structure and our roles had not been scoped out she could have used this as the excuse ie we're just getting used to the new structure, bear with us etc.

Not have a hissy fit and throw her toys out the pram!

Well, I was 100% certain a week ago that I'd be leaving soon, and now I'm 101% certain. All the speaking to the director thing did was give me false hope... although I guess if she tries to sack me now I can speak to the director again on the way out and let her know what has happened, if she's not already aware.

How have things been this week @PrincessDando?

Hi Unexpected... boss has been very frosty, ignored my friendly email asking for chat, and just responding in a very business like/terse way to any work related emails, not phoning me etc. She
still hasn't given me any work to do.

So! I decided to take matters in to my own hands.. as I'm probably going to either leave or be dismissed shortly I went and had a site visit with a client to follow up on an issue I'd been dealing with when she was away (boss was aware) and actually did my proper job, going through all the issues on site and suggesting solutions as I should be! . Then emailed boss to ask her if she'd like me to update her. I'm going to give her the update this morning and be very business like and professional, she won't be happy at the loss of control- but she can't complain to above that I've done this as I was told by the director that I should be working in this way.

Meeting next week with boss's boss which I fear could turn into a 'this ain't working chat' although I don't think they'll actually sack me at this point as that will get back to the director. I'll try and get my point across if I think they're going to listen but tread carefully if I think they're not really serious about working with me on this.

I think my boss's game plan is to freeze me out to make me resign.. but I won't resign before I'm ready to and may try and eek things out until christmas which would help financially. But if she's not going to try and work with me, and is still being frosty next week then it's never going to work long term. I'm in a business meeting (with client team) with her on Friday let's see how she is then as that'll be fun if she's still being frosty!

I sent her an email asking if I could set up some more site visits with clients I've not met yet which she's ignored.... if I put in a grievance I can clearly demonstrate I've tried to do the job which is mine (according to the director) and she's not supporting me.

Meanwhile I have 2 interviews next week for other roles!

That's an encouraging response. Don't let the bastards get you down, make the best of it while you can and plan for the future. Good luck!

Thanks - I'm going to try and interact with the clients as much as I can without waiting for her to give me permission... it's ludicrous that I haven't already been given the opportunity to do this. And once I have built up the relationships, encourage them to come to me if they have further problems so I don't need her to dole the work out it'll just come direct from the source like it should.

I don't think she can really complain if I am doing this as I'll just say I was being proactive, trying to get to know the clients etc.

It does kind of expose the problem of her not letting go.. well, good. She won't be able to deal with it without it looking like she's blocking me from doing my job.

.

Well done on being being proactively & keeping an audit trail. Like you I would not quit without a new role to go to.

Good luck in your interviews next week!

Update: Well, since boss found out I spoke with the director she has barely spoken to me and the relationship has completely broken down.

I will hold my hands up and say that in hindsight I probably should have just cancelled / postponed the meeting with the director if I felt it would be too hard to pretend everything was ok when it really wasn't. I tried to make it about the workload and not my boss, but I guess it came back to how she was (mis) managing me.

My boss's boss tried to mediate a way forward, but as my boss was literally incandescent with rage towards me this wasn't ever going to move towards resolution. She wouldn't even acknowledge me when I said 'hello' when I arrived for the meeting to discuss which is totally unprofessional IMO.

I offered to resign as there was no way forward and no way either of us could work together again. To be honest I don't want to be managed by her as she treated me badly to begin with, and I was on the verge of resigning anyway so this has just forced my hand.

The good news is that because she still refuses to speak to me they've had to put me on garden leave for my notice period which is a month, not a week as I first thought. This gives me time to find something else and I've already had some interviews which went well, just awaiting feedback.

I feel confident there is a better role around the corner and relieved to not be working there any more.... fresh start for me.