Unhappy in relatively new job

[Sadcat1]

Hi all.

I have been in a mid management level civil service job about 6 months and am really unhappy.

It is just not 'me' and I'm not getting it. It's a completely new and complex thematic area to me and I feel every one else is really well versed and efficient. I feel stupid and tongue tied and now depressed.

My boss is nice but quite awkward so I don't feel able to tell him this.

Added to which I've been put under monitoring today following a period of genuine sickness.

Everyone seems to have a confident manner and my confidence is at rock bottom. I can't even visualise what other job I would be good at. It's the constant meetings with other teams that I have very little to say in and I know I just look like a silent idiot.

Is six months too early to move on? Will this look really bad? What could I give as a reason for leaving?

Please don't be horrible. I've been crying all the time as I feel.so stupid.

Ask for a mentor.

We all have this at least once in our career - square peg, round hole - the job just isn't right for you and NO job is worth being upset and getting down about. Start looking for something else and just be honest if anyone asks at an interview why you were only there for 6 months. Good luck!

if you dont think it will be the job for you start looking for another.

if you want it and think that with some help you can do it then speak to your manager. Any chance you are suffering from imposter syndrome? do you think your manager feels the same about you?

What's with the sickness? genuine or where you avoiding a difficult thing?

sorry - i see you say your sickness was genuine

If the jobs not right for you, cut your losses and go.

I was in your position this time last year. In fact I posted about my difficulties on here.

Wasn't getting support from my G7, to be able to do my job adequately - even after speaking to the G6.

Felt huge imposter syndrome, and dreaded going into work each day, which was so unlike me.

I was so stressed at home and it tainted the run up to my wedding, as couldn't think of anything but work.

It was only when I ended up in hospital and my old manager came to visit (we're friends too) and mentioned the team were recruiting again, that I decided I'd had enough. I decided to go back.

I've now been at my old work place since January, in a newish role and actually now on a secondment.

The job doesn't have quite as much cache as the old one, where it was all about ministers and private office, However I am less stressed, can wfh 4 days pw, can finish at 3 many days and have my life back.

You're at work an awful lot of your life, you deserve to be happy

Agree with the person who suggested you get a mentor. Even if you start applying for other things now, you’ll most likely be in your current job for a while longer, and a mentor is nice support. Does your Civil Service department have a coaching/mentoring network within it? Mine does so it’s easy to access that kind of support. If not, you can access the same via Civil Service Learning.

Have you moved into a new technical area you’re unfamiliar with? If so, is there training available?

In the Civil Service some departments restrict your ability to move around/apply for other jobs if you’re on sickness monitoring, so best check what the position is. In my department it’s the first three months of monitoring.

If you’ve been off sick for long enough to have triggered the monitoring process, is it possible this might have affected your confidence?

Thank you so much for your kind replies everyone.

A mentor is a great idea and i will look into that tomorrow.

Yes, I think I have imposter syndrome alongside genuinely not understanding some of the work. I am ok with the processes I've been given but I just don't get what Im supposed to contribute in all these meetings and there are always new things coming up that it feels I should've known and I don't. I just feel the role would've been much better suited to someone with more experience of the area or at least the confidence to blag a bit.

Also it's not clear where my job ends and my boss's begins so I'm never sure I'm doing enough or if he's covering.

I've made the decision to retrain in another area completely (it's what I've wanted to do for years) and am working towards my entry exams for that. This is making me think that I've no chance of succeeding in another challenging job as I'm stupid. It'll be at least 2 years until I can start that course so I do really want to move jobs to something more suited.

The 3 months might be an issue but I don't know if it's civil service wide, the restriction, or just departmental.

Sorry, total stream of consciousness, I just don't really have anyone I can admit to feeling like this to. I think it's partly that I cover an area of work on my own and when I started was sat alone for a long time due to security restrictions and never had the chance to shadow or really be shown the ropes by an equivalent colleague.

Sorry, by the 3 months thing I mean yes I'm.told I can't apply but the wording wasn't clear if it is just in the dept or all through the CS.

I think it depends, I’ve seen job ads for other departments that won’t accept applications for people from other depts on any sort of sickness absence monitoring, but will accept applications from people within their own department who are past the three months but still in the longer monitoring period.

It sounds like they haven’t got you off to a good start training wise, sitting you on your own was such a poor way to start you off. Nothing like feeling you’ve no idea what you’re doing to knock your confidence, is there! Unfortunately your experience is all to common in Civil Service.

Have you had a look around to see what else you might be able to do alongside your job to boost your confidence a bit? Have a look at the Civil Service Local blog, there’s a few ideas on there. Job shadowing, events, things like that.

Please feel free to PM me if you’d like some other ideas. I’m part of my department’s coaching network so I’ve acquired a repertoire of resources/ideas for disgruntled Civil Servants!

Thanks Hedgefund those are great ideas and really appreciate the support. I will PM you in a bit of that's ok as I could do with all the ideas I can get!

I've been feeling this too. I'm only a month into my retail service job, and being 6 weeks pregnant I've already been signed off for a week due to not being able to cope with this sickness! I've been looking to change career to something in fashion retail, which offers the same work hours but better pay, but I'm scared that it'll affect my maternity. I'm constantly terrified of all these mistakes I'm making while learning the ropes, I'm scared ill be asked to get my coat and leave