What 'life admin' do I need to sort before going into high-power job after a year off?

[clusterduck]

Apart from the very obvious of course - childcare! Au pair/after school nanny will have to be recruited ASAP.
Going back to work after a redundancy from one career. Took a year off thinking it would be bliss. I certainly did not miss the stress of round-the-clock calls but that has now been replaced with a 'I have no purpose' panic and am really quite terrible at being a FT mum.
A new opportunity has been presented and it is a bigger, better role in a slightly different field than my last. It will involve travel and long hours.
If you have gone back after a break, what life admin stuff do you wish you had sorted?
I am thinking taxes, amalgamate (risibly small) pensions etc but what else? I am dreading to think what we are going to do for family meals and how the house is going to run with both DP and I in reasonably high pressure jobs. I know this is first-world problem but I think for everyone's sanity, I need to take the job.
I could prob ask for four days but as it's project work, suspect I will just get 80% salary for the same hours!

If you and your dh travel, a live-in aupair is invaluable to paper over cracks. You'd pay her more for when you are away but she already knows the routine and can support the other parent on the day-to-day.

I am not sure what your plans are for your dcs schooling but private school can often be more friendly to and accommodating of working parents but you need to check that it is the right one because there are private schools that assume one parent is SAHM. They generally have better wrap around care (which you won't need if you are using an aupair) but more importantly all the extra curricular activities are on-site and your aupair does not need to ferry the dcs around, just pick up at the end of their day. The school is also more responsive to parent complaints.

You maybe able to get someone part time for that amount, my friends worked
Full time as kids in nursery mornings only and then just carried on once they started school, if you are looking for after school care you may find adding a few additional hours of admin/ household stuff to increase the hours may go in your favour in finding someone.

@winging you are SO spot on. The lie ins....just five minutes turns into chaos. In our house bedtime is a nightmare. DD fell asleep half an hour ago (she’s four!).
@blueshoes: we are considering down this route (alien to both of us as we were state educated abroad and both did OK though do wonder if we would have had more confidence and gone further had we been to private school... another thread perhaps!). We are looking at one in particular but it’s the sort where I doubt they’re too responsive to parent power as they can have their pick of pupils. But definitely agree on the after school activities - the advantage is they would all be taken care of.
@anothermnname that is a really good idea.
May look into this. I do think a GOOD au pair may suit us in terms of emergency care. My problem is that I think delegating would take as long as sorting the admin eg having to sort out insurances etc. All great tips!

We have an after school nanny who was a mum with grown up children happy to do the necesssary paperwork to get ofsted registration. She does before & after school, full days in the holidays & will stay late if needed. She also does an hour of ironing whilst kids have music lessons & will cook dinner for all of us. I pay nothing like the amounts suggested so it is possible( if exceedingly lucky!)

A husband who is on an equivalent forum right now asking this exact same question, so that his/your/the family's life is easier and runs smoothly. A man who doesn't think it's your job to carry the burden of the mental load, on top of everything else.

Get a delivery pass for grocery shopping and clothes - for example £9.99 from ASOS is free next day delivery all year. Other shops do similar. Together with Amazon Prime you’re then covered for last minute nights out, nursery dress up days, birthday presents and special meals.

I wish I had agreed with my husband that he would in charge of discrete areas of housework or parenting . Rather than 100% of everything in the world being MY job and him “ helping me out “ when he has time / felt like doing it .

Which in practice meant never. Because changing a nappy of driving a child to football can’t wait until a report is written .

So I ended up doing everything all the time because I was part time. His laziness and selfishness destroyed our marriage.

So freezing sandwiches and buying extra school shirts is only moving deckchairs on the titanic unless you get the fundementals sorted.

That’s my opinion. No offence intended to those upthread who have given excellent tips, in my experience they are necessary but not sufficient .

Would agree with Trucking on that it is critical to get your husband on board.

I’m about to be back after mat leave and have been doing similar to you.

• not sure how much fitness is a concern on top of everything. This can be overwhelming but pays dividends to think through. Book a weekly class? Or consider what i’m Trying which is subscription to a Skype based weekly health coach - she gives me specific exercise goals, food check in, discuss mindfulness etc. the whole idea is how to mitigate the effect on body and mind of all the stress., I had gestational diabetes so am doing this to try and create a new normal for good habits. Good luck!

@truckingon what is the equivalent forum? He sounds like a keeper.
@Orlaith I hear you. Mine is better than me at doing the cleaning or cooking when he turns his attention to it. But he thinks my focus on gifts/ researching various products eg the ideal winter coat is a waste of time. I spend a lot of time on here reading others’ experiences of, say, au pairs and he would never dream of going it. We do clash over house work but it’s because he thinks I have ‘six hours a day free’ and get the house is a mess (takes six mins for them to demolish it!). I’ve also realised I am being treated like a doormat by the kids and him so time to go back to paid work that society actually values. They may even miss me when I’m gone.

@thefifthkey great tip on ASOS, didn’t know about the annual pass.
@Fakingjt36 I need to do something. I have gained a lot of weight in the last seven years. Which service are you using? I have a piece of gym kit in my home but of course it’s unused. I used to love a HIIT class but it got scrapped and have not found the sense buzz since. I really need to overhaul my diet too...

I would take the job, and you can always move onto something else if it does not work long term for you. It would seem you have good credentials if you are going back into a high powdered job, so i'm sure they'll be plenty of opportunities for you if this particular job does not work out.
Try not to panic and embrace this new chapter of going back into the work place.
I'm extremely unorganized as a person, and tend to outsource as much as i can, for example order my food dishes to be delivered, cleaner, someone to take care of things that i don't have the time to do etc. If i don't do this, i become overwhelmed and tend to lose focus on my business etc.
Anyway, good luck, hope it all works out for you!.

If you can set a time to do the life admin (I use sitting in the corridor waiting for a long ballet lesson to end on Saturday mornings), that helps to make sure you get around to it.

I flag everything in my inbox that needs doing, then use the Saturday morning to do it - school forms, paying for music lessons, updating the diary from the school calendar with dress up days, telling my in-laws / cleaner / parents / anyone else involved in childcare that week what the plan is for next week via text, renewing house insurance etc (though that’s on direct debit rollover just in case), meal planning for the next week, doing the online Tesco order.

Phone banking app and a calendar shared between everyone who is responsible for childcare would make things easier. Take a snap of any invitations, add them to the calendar, include regular things like music and dance lessons, you all share a view of the plan for each week as it unfolds.