Sixteen Interviews, and nothing. What can I do?

[Notthesamepersonanymore]

That's it basically.

I took redundancy nearly two years ago after a period of depression caused by bullying. Once I left, I was fine - no need for ADs or anything.

I'm in my forties.

I was very well respected and good at what I did. I earned £40k

I've now interviewed for sixteen jobs over the past 18 months or so, and I haven't been able to get one.

I've had lots of second interviews, I've done lots of presentations and 'tasks' and had numerous feedback conversations where I'm told I was a very strong candidate, 'just pipped', someone else had a bit more experience in a certain area than I did.

About a year ago I was told by one company - after three rounds of interviews - that I just didn't have enough experience in a certain area. Over the past year I have worked solidly to build that up, and I applied again for them recently. Today I discovered I didn't even get a second interview.

I set myself up as self employed and I make a small amount of money that way. I don't claim any benefits, I work all the hours I can and have gained lots of additional skills and experience. It's not made a difference.

I have been offered one job - at the beginning. It was for £20k. I wish I'd taken it now.

My redundancy money is almost all gone, and I'm really frightened about how we're going to live. I don't want to let my family down.

Does anyone have any positive stories to cheer me up because right now I feel so completely and utterly miserable?

The thing is, so many people just don't get how depressing unemployement and jobseeking is. You work on applying for jobs and going to interviews but until you get a job you get NOTHING - no XP, no qualifications NOTHING but hopes raised and dashed so many times.

Don't want to derail the thread but I'm so tempted to put my AS diagnosis in my CV. I know it may well be HR poison but would I (a) get a job with people who don't think 40-something senior female R&D have AS and (b) It might make sensible HR people not think I'm a complete freak when interviewing.

I'm not suggesting you have AS OP but as a senior female person you are probably riding a wave of unconscious discrimination - like tends to recruit like which is why I'd never bother with a job in defense for instance.

I need to get back in to work after redundancy and it’s hard. I am signing up to local agencies and think that is the only way I will get my foot back in the door. Perhaps start with temporary work for now and at least you will be filling up your cv.

Oh you are such a lovely lot, thank you so much for all your support. As @JohnMcCainsDeathStare says, it is utterly demoralising to face rejection constantly, so the supportive comments and good ideas start to build me back up again.

It's raining buckets, so I'm having a Pyjama day with the kids, a crossword and a big fat Danish pastry. Tomorrow I'll dust myself off and get some more applications in!

@JohnMcCainsDeathStare I often wonder whether to be totally upfront about my bout of depression and reason for leaving my old job, even though it's almost ancient history.

There's so much lip service paid to supporting people with mental health issues, that in theory it should be fine and wouldn't make a lot of difference. But it would, wouldn't it. Just like your AS. Yes it might explain some things, but it would just give them a whole different set of things to hold against you.

Also don't forget to focus on non jobseeking activities egg learning a language or coding. Also don't forget to focus on physical fitness - at the height of my jobseeking induced depression the fact that although I was apparently an unemployable too expensive freak I could do chin ups, run a 20 mile obstacle course and swim tirelessly helped me

@Overyou There is so much that you can do, and you never know what it'll lead to.

I started volunteering, and through that I've had three lots of contract work.

I took a course and I've met the most amazing people, plus had one lot of freelance work through them.

I try never to say no to any opportunities. Fat lot of good it's doing me in terms of getting me a job, but I've had a lot of great experiences and I don't regret that one bit. 

OP you are me, I think.

I can't tell you the last time I was successful in a formal interview process. 12 years I think. Last perm role I was first reserve.

I left that job due to bullying and my marriage breaking down.
Not been able to get employment longer than 6-9 months since.
Brexit fears, no sitting Executive (I'm in NI) and risk-averse recruitment in local government and public sector have impacted hugely on job security here.

I find it soul destroying tbh.

I've been told its my confidence/over-qualified/poor interview technique.

Honestly I feel like such a spare part. I'm very good at what I do, I just don't shout about it. I'm too modest, but am working on it.

Good luck. Believe in you. I'm more determined than ever to do the same.

I recruit. Do you actually say how much you would like to work for the company and you really would like the job to make a contribution to it. It's a very positive message, esp if there's not much between candidates.

Good luck.

BestisWest

You should be proud of what you have achieved. I know that sexism totally sucks and I have found I have had to cut contact with people I thought were friends when they showed their true colours when I needed friends.

But those friends I still have are worth it and I know they have my back. It's hard but there are good things and there will be people who look up to you.

Same to you OP.

So you should @bestiswest. That is a true test of mettle.

I completely understand that @IfNotNowThenWhen is depressed by the reality of what we/you have had to face - but I'm sure that there was no intention to come across as dismissive of how much you have achieved.

From where I am right now, i can honestly say that if - in five years - I'm telling a story like yours, then I'll be incredibly relieved and proud of myself. I may not be a wealthy pensioner spending my retirement on cruises, but hey ho, I get seasick anyway

Hey! Sorry if this has already been said (I haven’t read the whole thread!) but are you confident that your referees are providing you with positive references? A friend of mine once told me that after numerous unsuccessful applications, one kind prospective employer told him never to ask Referee X for a reference again! I mention this also in relation to your mentioning of (workplace presumably?) bullying, perhaps it is referred to in the reference? I may be wrong but I’m pretty sure you should be able to see you reference under the freedom of information act.

Other than that, as others have said, just keep at it! A couple of years ago I had a about the same number of rejections, it was completely soul destroying. Now I’m doing an amazing job which I love:-) The key was not giving up! Good luck.

I am sorry -It really wasn't my intention to make you feel bad. I'm sure you know that?
What I was trying to say (badly) was that, YES you should be damn proud of your resilience , but the fact that it was such a massive struggle and it shouldn't have been just shows up what we are up against.
Look, I was made redundant (I wanted to be, I'd had enough) and I didn't even try to get back into work. What I had seen in my large public sector organisation had put me off for life. I work for myself now, and its precarious, but OK.
Don't get your post deleted Best. I will report mine and get it deleted instead.

No, I know sorry for derailing the thread everyone

@happygowergirl - well I hope so. My direct references will all be absolutely glowing, and are all very senior people. My formal reference on leaving was part of my agreement so that's fine. The only problem might be if anyone goes looking for informal references from people they know who work there, who don't know why I really left. They say that history is written by the victors, and unfortunately my bully boss will have been making sure that happened.

Don't worry about derailing @bestiswest. It brought up a really important point - that there's almost a feeling of stigma associated with not being as high up the ladder as you should be.

Well I had another interview today and have not heard back as of yet. Why do they never ask you the questions you rehearsed possible answers to? This happens every time so makes it really difficult to prepare for every eventuality. You come away thinking why did I not mention this/ that in my answer? I am usually too experienced or do not have the right experience, although the feed back is I interviewed really well. I do wonder if they say that to everyone. I cannot help but let my personality show through, have even had a couple of interviewers saying they would have loved to work with me. I worry it is ageism and am running out of motivation and the stomach to go through with what seem like pointless interviews. I have another one on Wednesday and really think what is the point in all the preparation when it is a waste of time.

Sometimes the key is in not overpreparing. I have found, except for the obvious of looking into the company, I do better if I'm less prepared. If the roles the right level you should be able to address the questions that arise.

Do they usually give a test by the way? My other tip would be never to say anything less than praiseworthy about former employers.

Good luck.

Hi @crimsonlake - I hope that something came from one of your two interviews this week. It would be nice to think that @OhTheRoses might be right - particularly as it gets harder and harder to motivate yourself to do the preparation for interviews.

Just a quick note to see how you're getting on, OP.

OP I am late to this thread but could have written your first post myself.

The sector i work in is generally young and, at the top levels only, heavily male. I'm senior. I've earned good salaries.

There are very few jobs in my field where I am based. I always get a great response to my CV but I am a single mother in my 40s and I have do doubt this works against me. I go to interviews, do presentations and they are always impressed. Then someone else gets the job and I just get positive feedback.

I do some freelance work but have had very little this year and have been let down many times when work promised hasn't materialised. I would be happy to do anything but do have to consider childcare etc if it's outside of normal hours (e.g. retail) and that makes things difficult. When I look at lower level jobs I don't even hear back. I'm over qualified. I have little income but no benefits so every day is a struggle at the moment.

It's very depressing, so I feel for you and hope you turn a corner soon.

Notthesamepersonanymore, sadly no I did not get the first. Feedback very good etc, although I know I could have answered a couple of questions better. The second I am still have not heard back, does not help that my phone was out of battery and stopped charging the day they said they will let me know, I now have a loan phone. I did not chase it up as I knew when I applied the commute would be difficult and the hours were not quite enough. The job also involved working every other weekend as it turns out. I could cope with one in three, but every other for a job that I was unsure about ? I was offered a third interview this week, but again that was actually 16 hours so declined. In desperation I find myself applying for any jobs then if you get offered an interview that is the time I start being realistic. In my panic I decide I will do anything, but in reality I just cannot bring myself to. It is so time consuming and disheartening,

I hear you OP, I just got another rejection today after what I thought was a decent interview. It’s just so demoralising, and I can’t help thinking that the fact I’m a woman in my late 30s is being held against me (when I was in my 20s, I got 2 out of 3 jobs I interviewed for...).

Hi Everyone.

I'm nervous and excited to announce that I've got a job. And it pays well.

I'm a bit terrified. I start next week and it's really a whole new ball game for me, so I'm not going to break out the champagne emojis or say much about it for fear of it all going wrong. I will come back in a few weeks and tell all though.

In the meantime - hope all of you who are out looking are doing ok, and managing to keep your chin up @metalhead @crimsonlake @apintofharpandapacketofdates @johnmccainsdeathstare and others..