WWYD about this manager's behaviour?

[Futurehousewife]

NC for this as really outing.

My manager recently returned to the job after leaving for a short time. We got on fine before she left but since she's been back she has taken a very vocal disliking to me.

Every time we speak (1-2 times a week) she has something negative to say, usually along the lines of repeating some issue a senior manager has with me - never related to my work. I have my doubts as to whether any of it is true as the senior managers are usually very nice to my face and think it may be coming from her but she wants to make me feel ostracised from the team in the process. I have no issue taking constructive criticism but think it is verging on bullying as it's every week and not really related to my work, which they have always been happy with from what I've been told.

This has all come to a head as I requested flexible working, which other members of the team have already been given and I have a genuine, unavoidable reason for. I have been told no because then 'everybody will want it' - except others already do have it.

I made it clear I would have no option to stay in the role due to this unavoidable situation and said I wanted to try and find a solution so I could stay at which point she said, 'Why don't you just become a housewife and never have to work or leave the house again'.

I then received an email from her to let her know if I'm leaving - all with a very passive aggressive tone.

One of my colleagues has noticed her odd behaviour towards me and in general and is urging me to go to HR or her manager about it as she thinks the housewife comment alone is completely unacceptable (no offence to any housewives) but I think it'll be the end of my time there and I really loved the job until she came back with this new attitude. WWYD?

Report to Senior Manager and HR. Asking for flexible working hours is your legal right (so long as you are in the UK - exc. NI) and your managers response to this was unlawful. Employers MUST deal with your request in a reasonable manner, which means they must assess the advantages and disadvantages of your application and hold a meeting to discuss your request. If they find that the business is unable to offer you flexible working they MUST offer and make you fully aware of an appeals process.

From your post it does not sound like any of this took place and the comments about becoming a SAHP were enormously inappropriate and in fact could be regarded as sexual discrimination.

Get a hold of your companies policy on Flexible Working - assuming they have one. Your e-mail to Senior Management and HR should link to government advice on Flexible Work GOV.UK Advice as well as any internal company policy. Then fully detail how your experience with your Manager deviated from both company policy and legal rights.

What you ask for depends on what you want - do you want to stay where you are and have flexible working? Then ask for it? DO you want to leave the company now - speak to a solicitor before handing in your notice as contravening your legal rights means you are entitled to take them to an employment tribunal.
Good luck

I would go to HR about the housewife comment alone never mind anything else. Make sure you do everything by email and copy in your private email address so you have a record of everything.

Thank you for your advice.

I think you are completely right and know I would say the same if it was anyone else but won't my manager just deny everything?

There was no meeting about it or mention of an appeals process, I had to keep asking to get a response but again, nothing in writing.

I have since found out there is an official way of applying for flexible working via a form for HR but my manager has already said she will just turn it down if I fill it in now - will they use this as an excuse for her not following the correct procedure?

Sorry for all the questions, I have generalised anxiety disorder and this sort of thing makes it really bad.

Ask her again via e-mail and if she replies in person - ask her to hold on whilst you get someone to witness the conversation. Or - just go straight to HR to ask for the form and explain to them what has happened. You never know there may be others who have been having issues with her.