New job and ambitious co-worker

[boringbertha]

Hi all, I could really do with some outside perspective on an issue at work.

To give a bit of background I have worked in a large public sector-ish organisation for 9 years and have moved around the organisation 4 times. It's the sort of place where this is common place.

I've just started a new role at a higher grade in a new dept which is not unknown to me as it's still part of the larger overarching dept and my boss knows me fairly well. I was to some extent chosen for the job as he knew I had the skills they were looking for.

So all good... really excited for this new job. It's working in a team of two.. me and a much younger co-worker who to be honest is probably over qualified in as much as she has a degree and Msc in a totally unrelated field. So whilst I have more experience, she is very capable and picks things up quickly. For context, she has only been with the organisation for 6 months herself. So we are both fairly new to this particular dept.

I've been in the job 2.5 weeks now and I am feeling as if my co worker thinks she's my boss. I know there's an element of her having more knowledge than I do right now but it's really starting to grate on me.

Her role is more 'front of house' dealing with customers while I'm more dealing with orders that come in. However we do both need to know how to do each others tasks to some extent to cover the office.

The problem is that she had to do everything for about a month between my previous job incumbent leaving and me starting so is naturally used to doing it all and seems to be carrying on the same vein whilst I'm literally fighting over the orders which she continues to do.

I thought maybe she was just trying to give me time to settle in but to be honest I know pretty much what I need to now and will only ask for guidance when absolutely necessary.

So that's my first gripe, and I know I need to have a word with my line manager about it to define our roles even though I did this on my first day.

Secondly my line mgr came into the office today and spoke only to co worker about a new system that they are introducing and which needs further input from our POV. He ended up saying that co worker and other team members should get together to discuss the issues. Now this is a system that I will need to be using too but it was as if I was bloody invisible. I'm feeling really down about the whole thing. I didn't expect the dynamic to be like it is and am feeling really unsettled by it. Im not a pushy go getter but someone who quietly gets things done. I was fully prepared to step up to the higher expectations of this new job but I just feel completely inhibited by this ambitious co worker and the unfortunate lack of support/role acknowledgement from my line mgr.

So how do I go about this? I don't want to come across as a whinge bag but in all my years I've never been in this position.

Oh and I was told by my previous job holder
That co worker did ask if she could have the job when it was advertised but was told no as she was still in her probationary period. Knowing that, I have been at pains to come over in a friendly non threatening manner since I started but this seems to have e backfired big time.

I think you may need to straighten out in your head WHO needs to change what they're doing, and WHAT you need them to do, so you need to
-ask line manager if she can re-clarify roles now that your ramp-up period is done
-when this is done and IF coworker continues to do tasks that are clearly yours, you need to nicely say " thanks for picking that up Janet, I can take it from here"
The thing about others asking her about the system, I think you need to leave this alone for a while - it will take time for other groups/departments to know who does what between you & coworker, and if there is confusion betweenyou/her/your line manager, outside teams haven't a hope of figuring it out ... so hopefully reclarifying within your team will straighten it out with outside groups eventually

Overall though, your co-worker is not really doing anything wrong - being ambitious and a go-getter is not a bad thing. Its your line manager who needs to clear up roles & expectations

Just an observation, but you say that she thinks she's your boss - but actually you come across as thinking you are hers, which doesn't seem to be the case. You've been at pains to come over as friendly and nonthreatening because you were told that she wanted the job. What would you have been if you didn't know that? Your (and her) line manager said to her that she and the team need to get together to discuss the new system - so aren't you one of that team? Who's excluding you?

I would suggest that you examine yourself first - you have been there two and a half weeks, and thinking of going to a manager to complain about a colleague working hard and being ambitious? How is that going to come across? Equally, how does it come across that you need your manager to intervene in a relatively minor issue within weeks of joining the team? If you can't manage relationships with a colleague who actually isn't doing anything wrong, then what is the manager going to think?

Why not simply sit down with the colleague and have a conversation with her about workloads and your respective roles?

I think (in the nicest possible way) you are maybe slightly overthinking things and worrying unnecessarily. Very easily done in a new role on promotion!

I would do the following things - speak to your manager to ensure you understand roles and boundaries correctly and everyone is on the same page.

Ask to be involved in the systems conversation -I'm sure you weren't deliberately excluded there, it will just be that your line manager went to the nearest available person/the person they know has been interested in the new system. By 'discuss it with the team' s/he will have meant you (as well as others!).

Speak to your colleague if you feel she is continuing to overstep her role or taking over your tasks. I know how you feel as I'm conflict avoidant naturally and would dread having to have such a conversation but really there is no need for it to turn into a big thing. Just politely say something along the lines of "it will be more efficient if we agree a system/process for handling the orders so we know who does what. How about you take the order from the customer on the shop floor and then hand it over to me at xx point using yy form and I'll complete it by zz time (or however it works) What do you think?" If you feel she isn't or won't stick to the agreed process you could even write it down as a SOP or a flowchart under the guise of 'it helps me to remember to have it written down'.

If after this she still really isn't following it you may then need to involve your manager but I would put my money on it simply being over enthusiasm/thoughtlessness/misguided attempt to be helpful than her really trying to push you out or take your job. Good luck!

Thank you all for your comments and perspectives on my situation I think essentially you have all said the same thing..... that I need to not over think this and ask for clarification on roles if I feel things aren't sorting themselves out naturally as time goes on.

All good advice which I will definitely take on board. Amazing how you (meaning me) can blow things way out of proportion in the midnight hours.

I've been in a similar position to you and it can be very frustrating settling into a new role and trying to create those boundaries.

My solution would be to have a chat to your manager and ask that the three of you get together to clearly mark out who does what from now on so you don't duplicate any work. That way you don't mention any feelings you might have and it be construed that you are jealous / upset / feeling annoyed etc. It is a request for clarity so that you are both at your most productive.

This way clear lines are drawn and you can both feel more comfortable.

OP, I would definitely leave it a while to let the dust settle and see if this colleague's pattern of behaviour persists and becomes problematic to your effectiveness, eg if they go out of their way to exclude you, or try to minimise you in front of colleagues etc. bloody office politics

FWIW I totally get your frustration OP, but you need to take a deep breathe, get your head down, start to deliver and don't get sucked into any distractions. It is possible if this colleague is ambitious and is "sticking their elbows" out, you will notice those patterns of behaviour persist. But best not to overreact, even if it is tempting to try and sort things out sooner. Things will find their level.