Being unemployed is making me feel... low

[chattingtoaspanishgirl]

I'm quite an upbeat person but I just feel rubbish

I resigned from my old job about four weeks ago, because I was offered something else. That fell through though, I kept contacting the new employer to ensure they got my references okay (offer was subject to two references). Long story short, no answer from new employer. Something seemed off. I arranged a childminder and wasted a lot of time and money. Day before I was due to start, I get an email saying they are withdrawing their offer since the two references didn't come back in time (only the one did).

I've been trying for two weeks and feel sad that I can't find anything. The job I lost was a great one. But now I can't really find anything much suitable.

I found one role that's amazing for me, still haven't heard back. Closing date was the 21st. Interview is scheduled for 19th October, it says so on the application.

I feel like my skill set is good but my options are limited. I'm NHS based. I'd like to stay that way but will obviously change if I have to. Can't find anything though, even jobs too junior for me don't seem interested.

I'm a Medical Secretary, some PA work thrown in and previous bit of PA experience working for a Dental surgery.

So not really what someone is looking for in a PA generally. General admin don't even seem interested in me in other industries.

I can't travel much and need something relatively local. Jobs are slim pickings. Some come up, it's just waiting for the ones that do.

I remember when I first moved to this area (before maternity leave), and got lots and lots of interviews for jobs. Accepted by two. Declined both as decided it was best I stay put until after mat leave (I was on and off in work due to HG sickness so wasn't in much).

I just feel so low. Money is getting really tight. I need a job. I feel like I have to take anything, maybe even take a job in retail. I feel like that would really knock my confidence even more.

I just don't know. Has anyone got any words of wisdom?

Unemployment is horrid, but It is probably the anxiety that is making it feel so bad. If you are not getting interviews when you normally would do get someone else in real life to read some of your job applications to check that you presenting yourself in the best light at the moment.

Is it possible to determine which referee did not supply a reference? Maybe you could request a copy of the reference(s) to check that nothing untoward was said. It is possible that the actual reason for things falling through could be your absence record if all HR did was report the number of days off without mentioning that it was maternity related? I am sure that some HR person will say that is wrong, but stranger things have happened.

Many, many years ago I was unemployed after leaving something with nothing to go to and I quickly fell into a deep pit of despair. I hope it does not get to this but what helped in the end were a number of things:

• My parents support (they listened to me cry and did not judge me). Find someone who you can talk to who can listen and also will remind you how great you actually are.
• Took on voluntary work in a charity shop - as I found new friends who could relate to me about being unemployed and job hunting (my existing friends at the time just couldn't understand).
• Finally taking on a dreaded temp warehouse job - agency found me an evening job in a local warehouse so I could earn money and continue my main job search during the day. I never thought that I would work in a warehouse, but it actually was quite OK and it got me away from the job centre (which seemed to trigger me). In fact doing it helped my confidence no end. Once I had that job I got an interview for a job that I really wanted and I gave a really good interview (and I stayed in that job for almost 9 years).

chatting did you hand your notice in at your current employer before having received a formal written offer of employment from the new company?

Really important to have the firm offer in hand, even if it is an electronic version sent by email - it's critical before relinquishing current employment.

What area do you live in?

Thank you

I can't be flexible with temp work because of childcare issues. I can't work for free at a charity shop because I need to pay for childcare.

I did get a offer letter, but as I say, it said subject to satisfactory references

why on earth did you resign before you got your "proper" offer?

I do know someone who is self-employed as a medical secretary - she works from home.

I did get a offer letter, but as I say, it said subject to satisfactory references

Anything subject to a condition such as getting references, means they haven't actually given you the job. As long as you know that for the future, that's a lesson learned, right?

For the type of role you're looking for, Medical Secretary, there must be loads of those in the NHS - can you contact other Trusts, or even go back to the original person who didn't get your references in time and try to get things back on track, there are bound to be other similar openings?