Annual leave

[fikel]

I have put in annual leave for the 23rd December due to childcare issues. My job means I work through the night. We have a business which means my husband wouldn’t be home until the early hours.
My request has been rejected due to other requests and it’s the Christmas period.
Can I take it as unpaid or parental leave which I will do if need be.

I work one fixed day a week during the week and every 3rd Sunday. My DH stays at home but Christmas period is a major issue. Historically as long as it’s covered by staff, ( we are usually allowed to cover or swap shifts ourselves).

If you really can't leave your daughter or your dog (and have absolutely no one that will help out), then your DH will just have to stay at home, and employ more staff in the restaurant to cover. There's no reason why the restaurant owner needs to be there on every busy day. Just have a manager in (either your normal one, or if your DH usually fulfils that role, an agency one) and plenty of staff - again agency staff can be used if necessary. Your husband is only on the other end of the phone for emergencies, and could presumably pop in (with or without your 13 year old) for periods of up to 4 hours if necessary.

Sorry just to add- as didn’t make sense. The manager doesn’t usually see it as a problem if we cover it

If you really can't leave your daughter or your dog (and have absolutely no one that will help out), then your DH will just have to stay at home, and employ more staff in the restaurant to cover. There's no reason why the restaurant owner needs to be there on every busy day. Just have a manager in (either your normal one, or if your DH usually fulfils that role, an agency one) and plenty of staff - again agency staff can be used if necessary. Your husband is only on the other end of the phone for emergencies, and could presumably pop in (with or without your 13 year old) for periods of up to 4 hours if necessary.
He’s not there every night but Christmas is all hands on deck.
As a small business owner your suggestion of manager, agency etc wouldn’t work

Why can't he employ an agency worker? It might cost money (especially so close to Christmas) but he can absolutely employ one.

He could also take daughter to work with him, and pop back every 4 hours for the dog. Or employ a dog sitter.

There are lots of solutions. They involve your husband being flexible though, which he has the ability to do as a business owner. Your work has already declined your leave, and so therefore you not working on that day is not an option, unless you want end up without a job! As an employee, you don't have the same flexibility as a business owner does!

When he’s at work on busy nights he is running around like a blue arsed fly, keeping on top of everything and helping in whichever area needs help. It wouldn’t work just randomly employing agency for this very reason. Or from a financial reason.
We also have our reputation to think about and we work hard in these challenging times to uphold it

I think you are going to have to accept that you look at a childcare solution or else prepare to find a new job next year.

Are you working on helping you DD anxiety?
At that age I would have allowed a friend ( a quiet and trustworthy one) to come round and watch she's with some treats.

Well, then he'll just have to shut for the night if he won't employ agency staff, or pop back home every 4 hours.

Not ideal, but there we have it.

Given its 23rd December, not a problem reputationally, as long as you let customers know and don't take bookings for that evening. Obviously it'll cost you in £££, but if your daughter can't be left alone (or come to the restaurant or stay with a friend or have a friend over), and your dog must be seen to every 4 hours (and you have no dog sitters/friends/neighbours that will help) and your husband absolutely can't employ agency staff to cover or pop back home, then that's the only option.

Don't know if this would work but you can get nanny's/au pairs who stay overnight with your child. My friend does this albeit for a baby not a teenager. Would be expensive but maybe workable as a temporary solution?

Yes my DD is getting help through school, thank you for asking.
We certainly won’t be closing so I’m going to have a chat with my manager in person and see if hopefully we can come up with something. I would be happy to be at work until late and get someone just to do the night.
She would have no problem having a friend over but as it would be from 4pm until 130 in the morning, it’s not ideal

I have owned a restaurant while having young kids.

What he needs to do is get one of his staff trained up more and let them run the evening.

That's what restaurant owners do. They don't do it all themseleves, they make sure their staff have the right skills. He can work a bit of it and then take your dd home.

What would he do if he came down with a vomiting bug over Christmas? Go in anyway? Close? Return everyone deposits?

Parental leave doesn't have to be given on the exact date you request. These are the options.

What do you want your manager to do? Your request has been turned down, that presumably means there is nobody to cover your shift. There are lots of options that people have suggested but you seem unwilling to consider them, I have a 13 year old and they all seem pretty reasonable to me

Honestly, you are totally dismissing any solution that is not you getting the night off.

There is no special kind of leave entitlement that can force your manager to give you the night off. S/he may or may not bend the rules for you (but I personally wouldn't see 'my husband doesn't want to lose money or employ extra staff' as valid reason to give you special treatment, and since this is likely to happen every year, I wouldn't want to set the precedent).

Other than that - the only way you can have that night off is to leave your job.

I’m going to see if my manager will let me try and get cover like it’s always been done in recent years, if not something will be worked out.
It’s still 3 months away after all

As a manager I would have little sympathy for you because I wouldn't believe in your reasons. As mentioned you do have options, babysitter, friend, her going to the restaurant and actually helping.

I would suspect that you had made plans to help yourself in the restaurant or to leave to visit family early in the morning. Not only I wouldn't approve if indeed there was no one else to cover but it would leave a poor opinion.

I would suggest you speak with colleagues first to see if one would swap with you if possible. If not, I wouldn't ask your manager until you can give a valid reason why she couldn't stay with a friend.

It is 3 months away granted, but most people want Xmas off work. In my work for example if I wanted to book time off around Xmas I’d need to do it 6-12 months beforehand, I wouldn’t have a prayer of trying to book time off at Xmas today, it’s far too late. If you know you need that day off why didn’t you book it off months ago?

I think her going in to help your dh is best solution. Dog will have to get a sitter/ kennels. Stick it down as dh business expense. Or can your dd check on the dog if its kept in an office away from food production?

I worked in my dads business from 13. It will be good for her.

I agree that its not up to your company to have to pick up the festive slack. 3 months to sort childcare and dog sitting is loads of time.

She has friends over for a sleepover or goes to friends for a sleepover
She sits in quiet corner of restaurant and you get a dog sitter/overnight dog boarding
Your get a sitter for your daughter

All options before letting your work down at the busiest time of the year when your request has already been rejected.

Don't leave it late to make arrangements, you need to do now, as Xmas is busy for a lot of these services.

She would have no problem having a friend over but as it would be from 4pm until 130 in the morning, it’s not ideal
Maybe not but if she's a quiet lass and so is her friend and they can call the other parents it should be fine.
Sometimes we have to take risks and this is a manageable risk at her age.
Personally I used to love it when my mum and dad went out when i was this age. I felt grown up but also spoiled because they would get a load of nice stuff in to pacify me. I could drop up late and watch videos ( it was back in the day when video tapes were a thing!)

You do realize that your employer is running a business as well? How would you react if one of your DH’s employees was insisting they need the 23rd off?

Sorry but between your DD that can’t be left alone at 13, your dog that can’t be left for more than 4h even at night, your DH that doesn’t know how to delegate (as a PP asked, what is the plan if he gets a stomach bug?), you seem like you don’t want to make any effort.

My husband does delegate, he does have a right hand man and we do usually manage but like I’ve already stated to those that perhaps don’t know what having a restaurant and takeaway entails there are certain times when it’s extremely busy. Christmas being one of those periods so this is the time of year when it’s all hands on deck.
Anyone in the catering business works extremely hard over this period and as restaurants are closing left right and centre this is the time when it needs to be right. We have had the business for 17 years and he really is the face of the business.
Social media is v powerful, trip advisor, google etc have a tremendous impact.
I was just questioning where I stood so rather surprised at the aggressive stance of some. Thank you to the helpful suggestions of others
I take my responsibilities in my job very seriously and I won’t be letting them down, pulling a sicky or anything. I will work something out, most probably a friend over.
I’m going to sign off now 😘