Sitting in nursery hearing my baby cry

[MyBabyBoyBlue]

I'm going back to work next week and we are doing our settling-in sessions at nursery. I'm already struggling with the idea of being away from DS (who turns one in three weeks) and he has been struggling to settle in (although I know this is normal).

I'm sitting next door in the parents room while he does another session and I can hear him wailing and screaming. I've been in to settle him during previous sessions but this time they wanted me to be next door in case it got out of hand but we're keen for me not to go in (which I know is important for him to settle).

But it's breaking my heart. I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing by him, going back to work. I just want to take him home.

If it makes you feel any better at all, my lids are 3 and 5 and I've been working through that time (with only 14 months off in total with both of them). It will get easier. Your DC will settle eventually.

I'm feeling similar right now. I'm going back full time ad of next week and my DS are struggling settling in with the childminder and its just making me doubt everything. But I know next week when I'm in work I will feel better and the boys will get used to it.

Hand hold OP, it’s so hard I know. as previous poster has said it will get easier.

I wonder if you could go to another location where you can’t hear, but still be available with a phone call if necessary?

Or maybe bring headphones to listen to music so you can’t hear? I know it must be distressing for you to hear them cry.

I’m a childminder and parents are often worried about their wee ones settling, but I’ve found that after a few seasons the wee ones get used to the new routine and settle quicker and quicker each time, eventually having no crying at all.

Thank You for the lovely responses. I hope it'll get easier on us both. Returning to work always seemed so far off, I never really worried about it and it's crept up so fast.

Hi OP, no advice but a hand hold as I am in the same position. It’s awful . How was your first week back and how was your LO?x

I'm currently going through this OP and yep, it's horrible.

I've been working a while but she used to go to my mum's. Mum now has a job so she started nursery 2 weeks ago. Had 3 settling in days which went badly (screamed the entire time I was out of the room) so we did 3 more. These were marginally better, still crying but on and off and not screaming.
She's now done 4 full days (9-5.30) in nursery while I've been working and it's going much better. She still cries when I leave which is so painful to do, but once I'm gone she settles well, watches other children and is starting to explore the toys and has really bonded with her key worker. Hopefully we will soon get to the point where she doesn't cry when I drop her off and arrive to pick her up! At the moment, as soon as she sees me at 5.30 her lip starts to wobble and she cries, just to make me feel worse for leaving her.

She's 13 months, I think it'll be good for her.

Good luck x

The first time I left my 11mo DD they called me back after five - FIVE - minutes. They couldn't calm her down and I felt like a terrible parent since this seemed to be something of a centre record.

A week later and on her first full day, I braced myself at my desk for "the call" and I got one - telling me she'd napped like a trooper, eaten all her food (unheard of at home!) and had happily played all morning. She later cried when my DH tried to take her away at the end of the day Three months in and she would run to her room door when she understood where she was - I didn't even get to hug her goodbye as she'd be off playing. It DOES get better!

Thank you for the positive stories, that gives me hope that it will get better! He is still struggling although now he stops crying to have a bit of food which is promising. Still feel so guilty leaving him, the worst is when he sees me walking to the door and he bursts into tears :(

I've even had a crazy moment googling work from home jobs thinking what if the worst happens and I have to take him into the office with me!!

Fingers crossed he will calm down soon