Messed up interview for staff job i am already doing well on contract. What will happen?

[Whycantwealljustgetalong]

I have been working on short term contracts for almost a year. I keep getting extended. Permanent positions have now come up and I applied. I already do this job and I do it well. But I completely went blank in the interview. I could not think of an answer to one of the questions. They tried to pull something out of me but it was horrendous and I feel like I have made a massive idiot of myself in front of people I am currently working with. I can’t look them in the eye and I feel like everyone is laughing at me. I am also shitting myself that the staff job I have been hoping for for a year is now gone. I won’t know if I have the job for about three weeks and I am still under contract for four weeks. I feel like such an idiot. Should I start looking for a job? I want to cry I am such an idiot! To make matters worse I also applied for the senior version of the job at the same time and have an interview for that next week. I don't think I can put myself through it and feel everyone is thinking what is she doing going for that when she couldn’t even get through the lesser position. Want to climb under a rock.

I had a very similar experience a few years ago. The managers gave me the job on the basis that they knew my work was good. But I still shudder at the memory. Hopefully you will have the same outcome. You could speak to them and explain that you didn't feel you represented yourself well. See how they react.

If you know the people go see them and acknowledge that you cracked under the pressure of the interview. At some point in our lives most of us have messed up so they will understand. Ask for a second chance.
And if you get a second chance or for the interview next week prepare, prepare prepare... sometimes when we do a job it's easy to assume we can answer most questions off the bat. Think of next week as an interview for a brand new company and now you know the kind of questions they'll ask prepare answers for them. That might help you feel more assured In the interview.