I have left my job because they do not support me being pregnant after having a miscarriage

[bubblesdaisy]

This isn't really a post for advice as such as I feel ive done the right thing.
I work in a school kitchen..
I was pregnant and had a miscarriage in july. During this pregnancy my workplace was unbearable, obviously my hormones made me weepy and unable to speak up for myself which I am kicking my self for now. My manager would tell me how the other staff were peed off that I was allowed to go the booking in appointment. they suspected I had taken the mick time wise as the booking appointment took over an hour. They wanted proof I was pregnant regardless of my maternity appointment letters.
My manager would have me on my hands and knees scrubbing needless areas (which other staff commented it has never needed doing before),
carrying crates of drinks(if I said no it would be "I was carrying sacks of spuds when I was pregnant"),
not offering me a rest (if I did ask I would get "but we r too busy right now)
I had to force them to let me go home as I had stomach pains (they wanted proof I had seen a dr for help)
I was scheduled for a scan to see if the baby was still alive and I was called 5 times whilst in the scan to find out whats happened and when id be back at work.
I had lost the baby and took two weeks off work to grieve and let the process happen at home. I was still hounded with calls

I have had 6 weeks off work due to working term time... gone back to work Monday (Friday now) told them I feel pregnant again! instead of congratulations I was met with grief about it. They forced me to carry crates again so this time I stuck up for my self and refused and was surrounded by all the staff each giving me their pennies worth comments like..
"but what if your not? are we going to have this each month?"
"but why is it fair that we have to pick up the slack carrying your crates?"
line manager - "but I have to appease my staff and they are not happy at all with having to do your heavy lifting and you taking time off for appointments"
"but your miscarriage was months ago now"
"youre being over cautious"
"your miscarriage was probably a blessing in disguise its best to see it that way"
or "it was probably not meant to be"

Sorry if this is going on and on guys, kinda need somewhere to spill all of this out.

So I rang my partner and asked him to support me leaving he said yes as long as I give them a piece of my mind on my way out.
next morning I did a test and YES I AM PRGNANT AGAIN! :)

I went home, wrote a damning resignation letter

and now im sat here thinking have I done the right thing? I know its my emotions making me more cautious not to have another miscarriage, I get irrational too sometimes but the thought of carrying on in that environment would have made me so stressed and depressed I fear losing this baby too.

I think ive learnt that even in an all female environment where the staff are all mothers that sexism and inequality due my pregnancy would still occur and that is so very sad. Attitudes should change

You could raise a grievance about the way they behaved. A risk assessment should require certain tasks to be adjusted or reallocated if needs be. If you resign now you would not get smp if that is an issue.

I should really add that I'm starting university course in the next month and would have left my job anyway...

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and I'm very sorry for your loss, it's obviously a difficult time for you, but do you really think that your colleagues should do your work because you 'feel' pregnant?

The five phonecalls during your scan are unacceptable, but so is your demand for special treatment because you are ttc.

I think you should maybe tell your gp how you are feeling.

That’s a horrendous way to treat somebody! How stressful for you. I agree about raising a grievance - they sound awful and are likely to do it again to someone else. Could you raise a grievance and go off sick whilst they look into it? Then give your notice when it’s sorted?

Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP.

So you've left your job only a month earlier than you'd planned in reality. You may be entitled to Maternity Allowance but I would check on the Government website to make sure.

Second a PP recommendation to speak to your GP, as I sense there may be a pre-existing health condition here that is making you feel worse in the circumstances.

Are you pregnant or do you just feel pregnant ?

I found out I was pregnant the morning after I refused to do heavy lifting. I knew I was pregnant, all the symptoms, nausea headaches backaches cramps feeling full going off food etc.
I didn't want special treatment because i'm trying to conceive, just some understanding that the heavy lifting I wasn't comfortable doing, and some extra understanding as to why I didn't want to. If I was maybe pregnant that day but definitely pregnant day later then I was pregnant both days. It was a big inconvenience to them to help carry the heavy items for me. there are 6 of us in them team and we work as a team or should do.
The heavy lifting part of my job takes a few minutes of my whole day its not the whole job, it wouldn't have had much impact of theirs if they'd helped me.

Thanks everyone, im going to put together a grievance against my line manager now, im not worried about the maternity allowance part as I will be busy doing a degree and I have my partners support.
I have had depression in april due to my workplace and im afraid it made me seem weak. Im not a princess and don't expect special treatment just that this time I want to be more careful, it doesn't stop me working the full 6 hours without a break as we are so busy, doesn't stop me working very hard and at 100 miles an hour as we all do in the kitchen. I am kind and very courteous to the others so im gutted im perceived as a hindrance.
I feel no one will totally understand how a person who's suffered a miscarriage feels until its happened to them, I definitely didn't understand until it happened to me
Ive been to the drs yesterday worried about my mental health I was worried that I cant trust my own judgement , if im on a low again. I cant take anti depressants now and I was refered to a talk café thing which has a 8 week waiting list

Good to hear that you've been to your GP about the depression, it did come across that you might be struggling a bit with it at the moment. The catastrophic thinking was a clue - the title of your post, for instance. If you only told work this week, they've not had much of a chance to be supportive tbh, just a matter of days!

I agree that it's not (or wasn't) a good idea to say you 'felt' pregnant when you could have waited until the following day when you knew for certain.

I hope you are feeling OK today and that your pregnancy goes smoothly from here. What are you doing at University?

Congratulations on being pregnant and sorry for your loss

They have treated you appallingly. Bastards. It actually makes me really angry! Absolutely disgusting to do what they did when you were pregnant before and now even when you "felt" pregnant. When you know, you know and you were right! Leave and enjoy your pregnancy!!

Lots going on there and it's obvious you needed more support than you received from your employers. If you have resigned or are planning to then there's no point in raising a grievance as that process is likely to extend beyond your notice.

Best thing is to just quit, focus on the university course & your pregnancy. You could speak to student support in the university to get guidance on what support there is for pregnant students/new mothers.