Demanding job - not going back

[kerala]

My job is really demanding its in the city and involves long hours (regularly workign until 10/11pm) and international travel. It makes me very stressed. The people in charge are all men. Other mothers have tried and failed to negotiate part time/fixed hours.

Have to decide this week whether to go back and have pretty much decided not to. Now having the last minute jitters about being dependent on DH (who is fab and earns enough to support us and is very appreciative of me being a SAHM) and giving up a supposedly good career.

Has anyone else gone back to a job like this? How do you cope? DD 10 months.

And yes, I get paid one third of my billing. So last year, on 20 hours a week my billing was almost £80k, which would almost be respectable for a full timer (well, in this small market town it would - nothing to you City guys, I know).

It will probably be a difficult transition but you have had the maternity leave to adjust so you may not feel you are missing out as such.

You may miss the self esteem, respect, responsibility, adult conversation etc that working brings to people but you will find those things in different areas.

You may also feel a bit envious of DH having the career thing and 'escape' but work together and be prepared for some changes in the way you both think.

You may get a chance to get back into things in the future when baby is older but in the meantime, enjoy the time you have together

Kerala, it does sound like your job is hellish and impossible to balance with having kids, but it's often far easier to look for a new job when you're still employed, rather than when you're at home and out of the whole work environment. If you're sure you want to be a SAHM for quite a while, then there's no problem, but if you're just thinking of taking a bit of time out to get over the current job and work out what to do next, it might be worth forcing yourself to bear it for a bit longer and looking for a more family-friendly law job now. Employers will think you're far less of a risk to employ now than if you aren't working at all. Also you're used to doing the whole suit/superwoman thing, and it's easy to get out of the habit of it. Your little one is really young now, but playgroups and school will come around really quickly and you might find yourself going crazy if you're at home and can't get back into the working world. (I do management consultancy part-time, which is just about manageable - but miles better than I'd find either working full time or being at home full time).