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Am I over-reacting re nursery incident?

10 replies

shelbel · 20/08/2004 21:59

DS started at nursery two weeks ago doing three full days. In most respects I am happy with the nursery and he has settled in really well. on his second day this week it was reported to us that another child had thrown a toy at him hitting him on the head. There were no bruises or anything and I just thought these things happen. Today when i've collected him he's got a cut under his eye and a couple of marks on his cheek where a child has tried to take a toy off him and as DS has held onto it the toy has smacked him in the face. I'm not concerned about what they've said has happened but i can't help thinking that a staff member should have noticed and intervened (if they had a 1:3 staff ratio at the time someone should have been able to see the child try to take the toy off ds). ds is 6 months old and is the youngest in the group. I'm kicking myself that i didn't ask about who had seen the incident at the time etc.. and i don't know if i'm over-reacting in general but given ds is the youngest, isn't sitting/crawling yet i'd have thought that a staff member would have been watching him and other children around him all the time. I don't know whether to speak to nursery about it again or just leave it and challenge the issue of supervision and staff ratio's if anything else happens. Am i over-reacting - advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Avalon · 20/08/2004 22:04

I would speak to the nursery about it to make sure it's taken seriously. Did you have to sign the accident book?

tamum · 20/08/2004 22:08

When I started reading I kind of thought "well, these things happen when toddlers fight over toys" but hearing that your ds is only 6 months, I think you're right to think they should be keeping a closer eye on things. I can't see how a 6 month old could hold on to a toy so tightly that it would cause marks like those- I was imagining a real tussle, but that doesn't sound feasible. It is was me I would probably wait and see if anything else happens and then make a stick, as is may have just been bad luck up til now, but I think you would be completely within your rights to bring it up with them if you want to.

tamum · 20/08/2004 22:09

That would be "make a stink", not a stick

FairyMum · 20/08/2004 22:11

It sounds to me fomr reading the post that your child is in a room with older children? At 6 months they don't really fight over toys yet, do they? Our nursery is divided into different rooms so the kids are all around the same age. This way older kids can't inflict too much "damage" on babies. In my experience kids do sometimes get a couple of bruises and bumps in nursery and I don't think we can expect nursery stuff to see everything. Children do fight and a few bruises are just art of childhood, but I think it#s important that the children are of similar age and I think your child is very young to come home with a cut.

earlygirl · 20/08/2004 22:15

this is bad- if this was my child i would not send him back there-to me it's totally unacceptable-of course a staff member should have intervined-what were they doing having a chat and ignoring the kids?

BadHair · 20/08/2004 22:23

I would be tempted to make a formal complaint to the nursery manager. Its not acceptable for your child to come home injured, and, as you say, the staff should have been supervising more closely.
Also, find out which toy they were allegedly "fighting" over. I'd want to know what toy that is suitable for under 12 months is capable of making a cut on a baby's face.

MeanBean · 20/08/2004 22:32

Shelbel, I think you are right to be worried. Your son is too young to be involved in tussles about toys - a six month old should be too closely supervised to sustain a cut from a tussle with an older child. And it's been two incidents in two weeks. I wouldn't be happy about it.

Chandra · 20/08/2004 22:36

I would try to speak to the manager, if he was a bit older I would said this things happen and ask you to let it go, but being such a small baby I think you need to speak to the nursery if only to get confident again that your child will be taken care of appropiately.

edam · 20/08/2004 22:40

Agree with Badhair. I sent ds to nursery at 7 1/2 months - they didn't have any toys that could have hurt a baby. He's been bumped three times in all, in 6 months of nursery, but only since he and all the other babies started crawling and cruising. If he'd been bruised before then I would have been very concerned; how on earth can a closely supervised, immobile baby get hurt, unless an adult is either negligent or positively harmful?

At ds's nursery babies are in the baby room and don't move up to the toddler room until they are ready ? ds will be going up in September, when he's 14 months.

The first time he collected a bruise was at the end of the day, when they move all the children who are still there in the same room to avoid having rooms with only one or two children in. They were trying to take a toy from a toddler (because they realised bad idea with babies in the room too) and ds got hit when the toddler pulled it back sharply.

The second and third time were this week ? once he fell over (practising his new cruising techniques) onto a toy and once he got whacked by another child's toy. Not good, but inevitable part of childhood exploration, I guess. (He's also bitten another child but at his age it clearly wasn't malicious, just curiosity I assume). Every time I had a verbal and written explanation of the incident and what action had been taken (ie cold compress for the bruise). And I had to sign the accident book.

But if he had ever been cut, I would be down there sharpish. And if this had ever happened before he was even sitting, I'd be on the phone to Ofsted, frankly. There shouldn't be anything in the room that could, in any way, break a baby's skin.

shelbel · 21/08/2004 00:52

Thanks to all mumsnetters for advice. ds is in a baby unit where the age range is up to 21 months which is wide. I've written a formal letter of complaint (as much to get it off my chest and get off to bed than anything!). I am definitely going to speak with the nursery manager on Monday and will make a formal complaint if she minimises what has happened and doesn't address my concerns about the levels of supervision. You all said pretty much what i needed to hear about it being completely unacceptable but you know when you're a first time mum and i was thinking am i being over-anxious or over-protective.
Mumsnet is such a brilliant site - thanks again

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