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Unhappy work colleague...

16 replies

51mum · 30/08/2018 14:31

Hi everyone!

I've just returned to full time work after having my first child! daunting as it is, its also a new job. I am excited and nervous to be here and hopeful this new position will be great for me and my new family.

The previous worker in this job had stepped in on a temporary basis (which was made very clear to her from the get-go) after a year or two in this job it was decided to be made a permanent position. it was then advertised as such...

Numerous people applied (including the previous/current worker at the time). She was unsuccessful and the job was offered to me.

I was pregnant at the time I was appointed the job (38weeks) and due to go off on maternity leave. Like I said above, I've just come back to work.

Now, I completely understand why this colleague would be very unhappy... after doing the job for a couple of years and then to be told you weren't successful would be gut wrenching! and a real kick in the teeth to the previous years of work she had done. I truly do.

Since returning to work I have attempted on many occasions to speak to/chat with this employee (she was appointed a position elsewhere in the business). But...nothing.

I once offered her a friendly introductory handshake on my first day! which she refused. I barely get a "hello", she wizzes past me if we meet in the communal kitchen, avoids eye contact and any contact with me! I know she's upset and I really don't want to get off on the wrong foot with anyone! I just want to do the job I'm employed to do, without any animosity.

Today I overheard her say to another colleague "yeah she said hello to me the other day like an excited school child and I just...*insert snub facial expression" and "haha, oh I know it's evil".... Now, we aren't at school and I don't want to sound like a wet blanket but I did feel a lump in my throat after that last bit.

I've tried to be nice, I will always say hello or good morning to anyone...and its hard adjusting to the new role of working mummy, hard to say goodbye to my little boy every morning and then met with this. She is popular and well-liked among all the staff. I'm the new start that stole her job....

I dunno, maybe today has been an emotional one for me but I genuinely don't know how to approach this situation to have a positive resolution.

Sorry for the rant....any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated. Thanks!

OP posts:
Rosered1235 · 30/08/2018 16:26

Hi, just wanted to say that I’m sorry you’re going through that at work. Your colleague sounds horrible and immature. Personally I’d just rise above it. Carry on being civil with her but don’t go any further. Just concentrate on your job and try to find other colleagues to be friends with. Don’t gossip about the bad work colleague or seek advice from others - just ignore it. It’s nothing personal to you - she’s obviously just unable to deal with rejection and, as I said, completely immature. Maybe that’s why she was unsuccessful in her application? Anyway, good luck with your job and hopefully things will improve soon.

fuzzyfozzy · 30/08/2018 17:27

Be polite to her, never bitch about her and be lovely to everyone else.
They'll soon see through it all.
Crappy situation though all round.

stressedoutpa · 30/08/2018 18:23

Jealous? Much?!

Avoid her at all costs. If you do need to speak to her then stick with work related stuff and be professional.

51mum · 30/08/2018 22:53

Thanks everyone for those lovely words and pearls of wisdom!
Definitely taking those suggestions on board. I will just carry on with my work and hopefully with time this will all seem like an unpleasant memory

Thank you
Xxx

OP posts:
NT53NJT · 30/08/2018 23:00

Meh. Not your fault you got the job over her. She needs to be a grown up and accept it or move on

JammyGeorge · 30/08/2018 23:08

Ignore ignore ignore and keep her at arms length.

Just concentrate on doing your job and being yourself. In time you'll build up relationships with your colleagues and the tables will turn, then she'll want to be your mate. I've been there unfortunately.

Everyone in that office knows you've done nothing wrong and she's being a jealous knob. She'll of been a knob since she got the knock back all that time ago no doubt.

51mum · 31/08/2018 08:50

Thanks everyone for your feedback...I've just sat down at my desk. Maybe today will be better and go differently (Who's got that Friday feeling?!)

I do hope things can move forward in a more positive light and I will be putting all my energy into my new job!
x

OP posts:
Sweetpotatoaddict · 31/08/2018 08:54

Her current behaviour is probably the reason she didn’t get the job. Rise above it, be pleasant to her, it’s tough returning after mat leave hang on in there.

YogaPants · 31/08/2018 08:59

That sounds really tough. It is also really hard finding your way around a new job at the same time as leaving your dc regularly for the first time.

Sounds like your co-worker has an attitude problem that might have cost her the position you are now in. Best leave it as her new managers problem and not yours.

NonaGrey · 31/08/2018 09:04

Smile, be polite and completely ignore all rudeness.

She wants to upset you, don’t let her.

IrenetheQuaint · 31/08/2018 09:04

I couldn't tell from your post if you actually have to work with this woman or you just sit on the same floor as her. If the latter, just smile vaguely as you pass her in the corridor and try to forget about the whole thing.

If you need to work with her then it might be worth a conversation with your line manager about how to establish a professional relationship despite her obvious resentment towards you.

51mum · 31/08/2018 09:17

Sorry, you're right I didn't clarify - We are in different departments but are in close proximity of one another so it is likely we will be seeing a lot of one another, even if we wont be working directly with one another.

Thanks everyone! xx

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 31/08/2018 09:20

Be the bigger person. The only person she is showing up is herself.

stressedoutpa · 31/08/2018 09:43

Just remember, she's been doing the job in a temporary capacity for however long so in theory she should be the ideal candidate. She clearly wasn't good enough.

There! Doesn't that make you feel better?!

51mum · 31/08/2018 10:17

stressedoutpa thanks :) that did make me smile!

will continue being friendly and nice to her no matter what she throws my way

OP posts:
stressedoutpa · 31/08/2018 11:07

Just do what you have to. Don't be too nice. She clearly doesn't deserve it!

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