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AIBU to wonder why the hell they hired me, and why the hell I'm putting myself through this crap!

8 replies

zestyflavour · 14/08/2018 17:54

I've been in this new role for 2 months. In the office, there's 3 senior managers, a bunch of other managers and their teams. When I took the job I knew my manager was quite highly strung, but thought I could handle her quirky ways. I also got on reasonably well with her PA although didn't see her often. Her PA who I'm doing a handover with as she's leaving is meant to be training me, but has for the last few weeks ignored me, tried to sneakily put blame on me for things going wrong, complained that my perfume is rank and makes her gag, and generally just been a complete bitch. She even moved to the opposite side of the room to me for the day as she was too tired to talk to me. I've tried making the effort, and then I tried ignoring her, but it's difficult as I have to ask her for help now and again. The Manager also likes to have a little dig at me on a daily basis, hourly even, and makes me feel humiliated and stupid at least once a day too. She makes tiny things in to massive dramas in front of everyone. They've shoved me in the back of the office so I can't get involved in any conversations with anyone at all and it's pretty lonely. I literally cry every time I leave the office and I'm a grown bloody woman! The money's crap but it does have good prospects (possibly, I think), good holidays and little perks here and there.
What should I do??

OP posts:
Guienne · 14/08/2018 17:57

In your shoes I'd be looking at job adverts.

Hadalifeonce · 14/08/2018 17:59

Would you be able to ask your boss for a 1 to 1, and explain that you feel something is amiss in the office and you can't quite work out what's going on. That way you are not blaming anyone, just seeking clarification.

Nettletheelf · 14/08/2018 18:00

Do you need to ask? Look for a new job. Working with unpleasant people saps your spirit. If it was just the spiteful PA I’d say bide your time and see what happens after she leaves, but your manager has shown herself to be an arse too. Vote with your feet.

Others might advise you to complain to HR. My view is, HR are there to protect the business, not you, and the best thing long term is to leave.

When you have made your mind up you will feel better because you have mentally moved on. Find a new job first though.

I wish you lots of luck.

Polarbearflavour · 14/08/2018 19:28

Are you a PA? Being treated poorly seems to be part of parcel of a PA role.

I’ve just quit a temping job because the manager isn’t very nice at all. I don’t have anything else to go to but DP is supportive and I have savings. Not worth going home in tears over a crappy job!

Nettletheelf · 14/08/2018 22:20

Crap money only tolerable when you like the people AND the prospects are good. I think that you can do better than this.

grumpy4squash · 14/08/2018 23:04

Definitely leave, it doesn't sound like the short term pain is worth any long term prospects.

zestyflavour · 15/08/2018 13:42

Thank you everyone for your support. I am a PA and I have had snotty managers before, but all this is pure vindictive behaviour. I've started looking for new jobs, but the whole process takes soooooo long!!!

OP posts:
stressedoutpa · 15/08/2018 17:57

How long have you been a PA? Do you have much experience?

Like Polarbear says, being treated poorly is a common theme with PA jobs. You really need the hide of a rhino to deal with difficult bosses and all the shit that comes with the job/heavy workload while everyone assumes it is a doddle of a job.

I'm out of it now but it certainly toughened me up. I am very black and white and wouldn't tolerate poor behaviour from colleagues or my boss. I have walked away from several jobs for similar reasons you've outlined in your post.

If you can, get away from PA and admin work. It really is the road to nowhere. I found lots of average colleagues and bosses around me were being promoted/getting salary increases while all I was doing was standing still but just having to work harder and faster. It's a no win situation.

High five! @polarbearflavour

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