I will try to keep this as brief as possible:
I did a one year cover and had extremely good review etc. I was kept on in the department in a new role. All seemed to be going well. Then the person I was covering returned.
Suddenly my reputation and good standing plummeted. I am not aware of anything I did wrong. My boss started to be very unpleasant, pulling me up for minute/unsubstantiated issues.
I went to Union as started to affect my wellbeing and I dropped to a very low place. They told me that my boss obviously didn’t like me and I just had to work through it.
Another department recognised what I had to offer and approached my boss for an internal transfer to their department. Happy days! I move to new role and seems a great team,however a couple of weeks in find out old boss allowed transfer on condition that I keep working for them on any area they wish. I also have to meet with them on a regular basis where I made to feel very small and have sleepless nights the days leading up to meetings.
I am given tasks to do, complete them to a high standard and then old boss pulls them apart. Gets others in their department to pull apart too. I need to work with people in the old boss department and they won’t cooperate or say they will do something and then don’t do it. When I approach them or old boss to ask why this is happening they tell me I am paranoid or taking things too personally. My boss also suggested I may have a mental health problem! This then just stops me in my tracks because I feel that if I stick up for myself or protest they will use this to defend their unsubstantiated claims about me as a person.
I also developed a solution to quite a major issue at work. This was widely accepted and endorsed. Over the last few months my old boss has slowly dropped me from anything associated with this and has blamed anything that has gone wrong on me, using this as the reason they are dropping me. Behind the scenes still gets me to do the work but asks me to remove my name from documents and doesn’t let me attend meetings.
I mentioned things had been a bit tense to my new boss but don’t want to go into detail as I want a fresh start. However I feel like I am being grinded down. I feel like everything I do is being criticised and I have no control or voice in any of this. I don’t want my new boss to think that something is wrong with me.
I have gone from being someone who was confident and capable to a mess. I can’t sleep, when I do I have nightmares about work and I am often holding back tears (I have not and do not intend to cry at work!). I feel humiliated and doubt myself.
Anyone have any tips or words of wisdom on how to get through this? In particular how to start being able to stand up for myself with out looking defensive and also how to play them at their game......