Almost finished my mental health nursing degree and the whole experience has made me question my own mental health. What now?

[Bubblesandcake]

Long story short - I am a single parent and tonight was the final straw. I need some advice if anyone can offer some, I would appreciate it.
I almost left last year (2nd year) to work in a nursery but financially can't afford it. I have not enjoyed placements and struggled juggling everything. I get no support from my ex so pay the mortgage alone and juggle the childcare myself. I can't begin to explain the hurdles I have overcome to reach this point (6 months to go). I can't give up now! However I don't want to be a mental health nurse. The more I am involved in, the more depressed I am. My one dd is struggling at school, is over weight (Im really trying to help her) and tonight my youngest told me she hears voices that aren't very nice (maybe triggered from some kind of trauma? I can't think of anything that has happened). For the last 2 weeks all I have done is sit working on my dissertation. I feel guilty. What if I have not been there emotionally for them? This degree has taken every bit of me. I'm not happy. It appears my children aren't either. The whole point of doing it was to gain a career to enable me to be financially stable for my dd's. I feel lost and helpless. I don't even want to be a nurse anymore.

That sounds really tough, I'm attempting to juggle studying with parenting and having a job. Even with my DH helping it's really really hard. I can't imagine what it must be like to be going it alone.

I dont know what I can say to help, but I have jd multiple inpatient stays and been under MH teams since being a teenager. You come across as caring and a lovely person in your post, those are qualities that are worryingly hard to come by in MH nurses in my experience. I owe my life to a handful of the professionals I've met over the years, I can honestly say I wouldn't be here today without their help. It must be a really tough job, but the impact you can make is more than words can say.

Are you thinking of working in a community team or within a hospital setting? Could you do some agency shifts in a hospital for a while after qualifying. Would mean you'd get paid, but not be too invested with a caseload.

MummySparkle - I am so so happy you received the care you did and what a positive outcome. You should be very proud of yourself. Good luck with your studies.
Your kind words mean alot. I just don't feel I have the mental or emotional strength to work within mental health. As well as the responsibilities today.
The Welsh government are changing the way we can apply for jobs. It's done through a streaming system. Job vacancies go up (newly qualified only) and we have 4 preferences. There are not many and nothing I would want. I had decided before we found out about this. I just don't know what to do after all that hard work.

I don't know much about nursing jobs. Are you a qualified nurse already? And once you get your MH nursing qualification can you leave it a while before you choose to use it, or is it a bit like teaching where you have to do a newly qualified year before you're fully qualified for life?

I know you have to work 450 hours in 3 years to keep my pin. Not sure how long I have to apply once qualified (6 months time).

You don't have to make a decision now do you around future work? Can you concentrate on getting the qualification and then decide. I've been doing some work with an excellent women's charity that works with women who've experienced trauma, and that sort of thing may be a more supportive and less stressful environment for you. But just focusing on immediate priorities might help. I know what you mean though, I am a LP and have struggled to give my DD as much attention as I'd have liked, but I have a good relationship with her and I think she's grown up more resourceful and independent as a result.

Poor you! Hang in there. You are almost finished.

In your shoes, I would get my first job and see how it goes. You might find that it is better as a qualified nurse than as a student. If not, you can make a plan to change course. At the end of the day, it's a degree. Plenty of people study subjects at uni then do something different.

Sounds like you have done amazingly well to get this far. Don't be too hard on yourself.

WeAreGerbil I have set a plan. Broken everything down and just going to do the best I can. Sounds like you have an interesting job.
stressedoutpa thanks, means alot. I'm going to apply and go through the new process and then see what they offer me in December. By then I should feel clearer on what direction I am going. 85% of me doesn't want to work as a nurse. 100% of me doesn't want the responsibility that comes with it. Mental health law and medication management is scary.