Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Issue with colleague, does anything need to be done?

31 replies

Anonomuss · 06/08/2018 22:34

Will try to be vague.

Have a newish colleague, he came from a similar role so was pretty familiar with the role in our place, has had no issue in learning the slight differences and doesn't struggle with the role.

It has become apparent that he dislikes me. He won't look at me and barely speaks to me. If he has to it's short answers and the tone is very different to how he speaks to others. Our jobs mean we have to work closely together. I have done nothing but try to make him feel welcome.

We are supposed to communicate with each other as to what we are doing so we can split the work. He does sod all and I'm trying to pick up the slack. He works more hours than me but I probably do 3x the amount of work he does. If we are approached and asked if one of us can do something, he will look away so I have to offer. A colleague made a joke about this to us as he noticed it and he basically admitted that is what he was doing. As a result I'm doing a lot whilst he is doing I don't know what.

There are certain things we are both supposed to do, he just doesn't do them, I have to do them as they need doing. One time I offered to show him how to do something and he told me he had already been shown, and has never done this since.

There is a job that needs doing every day or it builds up. I have worked really hard in getting the massive backlog cleared and it was told to us that we need to do it each day. He barely does it. One day I knew he wasn't doing work as he was messing about on his computer, I suggested (nicely, as in 'if you are stuck for something to do' as I knew there was nothing in our email inbox) there is quite a lot of this job that needs doing and I got a snippy reply that he did it yesterday and wasn't doing it today. I had to do it again as I don't want it building up.

On Friday our boss said there is something that needs doing this Wednesday and wanted to know who wanted to do it. I've done it a few times recently and shown him how to do it and don't want to look like I'm jumping in so I hesitated. Boss looked at colleague who just looked back and said nothing. Boss said he looks like he doesn't want to do it so I said I guess I'll have to.

I have mentioned in conversation to my boss that he clearly doesn't like me as he is noticeably 'off' and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I've also said that it feels like I'm doing the job alone and there are times where I can't work out what he is doing. Today I was asked to spend a day doing something only I can do, which I'm happy to do, and our other work was building up. Colleague was doing something that wasn't urgent and taking forever to do something that takes me 2 minutes. I mentioned to him that there was a lot of work in the email inbox and I got a snippy reply. Thankfully boss overheard and intervened by checking what I was doing then directed him to what needed doing (which is what I said to him was building up). Boss has told us before we are to communicate with each other over the work so I've not been overstepping by directing him to what needs doing when I'm doing something else.

I'm getting frustrated by this. It has been noticed and I've out right said some things but there seems to be a reluctance to do anything about it.

I'm happy to do any of the jobs at work, I enjoy my role and I work with great people. This one person is making me feel tense and I'm getting fed up with having to try and do everything else that he just won't do and gets snippy when I try and suggest what we are each going to do. Friday's example really wound me up as he literally sat there and looked at my boss, refusing to do it, knowing I would.

Does this need formally addressing or do I suck it up and just accept that he is going to coast through his job?

OP posts:
ProudThrilledHappy · 06/08/2018 22:38

Fuck no. Request a meeting with your boss. If this man dislikes you then you’ve got nothing to lose by resolving this.
Your boss and coworkers have already noticed the situation anyway so you’d be better to resolve this now with their support before a backlog builds up and you are blamed.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 06/08/2018 22:38

Go see your boss and ask what the point of him is.

Either the manager manages him, or you may as well get his wage on top of yours if you are doing all the work.

If you keep doing it though, he will coast. So stop.

nibblingandbiting · 06/08/2018 22:46

I would be requesting formally something be done and if that means working solo awesome.

OliviaStabler · 08/08/2018 04:50

Sounds like a combination of things going on but I'd say he wants to coast along in the job and does not like it when you push him to do the work he is supposed to and resents you for it. I suspect this behaviour has not been challenged in other workplaces so his avoidance tactics have always paid off so he is carrying on that behaviour with you.

I think you need to stop being so nice. If he does not volunteer in a meeting, you say 'well, I've done this task the last three times it was requested, think it is your turn this time Dave. Only fair' and then stay silent.

You also need to put in a formal complaint with your manager. Say you've tried to work with him but he is not pulling his weight and give several examples including dates of when his lack of work, cooperation or avoidance tactics have caused issues for your productivity. You need to state what you want as a result too.

Good luck.

Original poster
Anonomuss · 08/08/2018 16:34

Thank you.

Glad to read it isn't acceptable.

Can I also bring up the fact he doesn't like me? Obviously he doesn't have to but when it's noticeable, I don't think it's on at all. Today people kept commenting how quiet our area was, it's only because we don't talk and no one else was sitting with us. I would talk to him but given his frosty attitude, 1 word answers and the fact he won't even say morning or by a to me now, I don't try to waste my breath talking to him unless I really have to.

OP posts:
StormTreader · 08/08/2018 16:42

I wouldn't bring up that he doesn't like you because that's not actually his job - people aren't required to chat. They ARE required to do their actual job though and he isn't, and that's something that can be concretely measured and have things set in place to check that its changed.

OliviaStabler · 08/08/2018 17:00

I wouldn't say that he doesn't like you, but I would phrase it that his lack of communication with regards to the tasks at hand is an issue as it is not possible to work effectively if he is not willing to communicate on tasks and then carry them out.

HollowTalk · 08/08/2018 17:08

I disagree - if someone can't even be civil to you then that is a matter for your boss to deal with, I think.

I'd say to your boss: "This clearly isn't working. I'm doing all of the work and everyone knows it. This guy doesn't even acknowledge my presence. I'm a good worker and I'm making a formal request now to work with someone else and sit in a different place."

OliviaStabler · 08/08/2018 18:26

I disagree - if someone can't even be civil to you then that is a matter for your boss to deal with, I think.

The thing is, he is barely civil. He says good morning and good evening. He will play it as 'I'm not a naturally chatty person, should I be punished for that?' That gives him an avenue of escape for his behaviour. We all know what is going on but he can't be held to account for it.

GreenTulips · 08/08/2018 18:35

He is being totally unprofessional and making the atmosphere difficult

I doubt he doesn't like you, more that he uses the situation to his advantage so he doesn't have to take in more work

Can you ask that tasks are allocated more fairly - by either yourself or someone else, so you each have a responsibility for do X and you y so they can see the workflow?

Keep records of what you do and how much

SilverHairedCat · 08/08/2018 18:41

All of the above, but you also need to stop volunteering yourself.

If he stays silent, count to ten in your head and keep looking at him. Do not volunteer. If he still doesn't offer, say to the person that needs the task doing that you are too busy, but perhaps X has capacity to take it on. If he refuses, ask the person to take it to the boss, as there are issues with workload at present, and you'd be grateful for it to be passed to them in the interm.

HollowTalk · 08/08/2018 18:43

@OliviaStabler, are you the OP?

One of the OP's posts says: the fact he won't even say morning or by a to me now

Cauliflowersqueeze · 08/08/2018 18:46

Definitely ask for a meeting with your boss. Explain that what he saw was a microcosm of what is repeated all day every day.

Is it possible for him to be reassigned somewhere else?

Cauliflowersqueeze · 08/08/2018 18:47

And also explain about the volunteering - as your boss has noticed he doesn’t put himself forward, he needs to start actually assigning the jobs to him and holding him accountable for completing them.

Claricestarling1 · 08/08/2018 18:56

Definitely don’t do nothing here..this guy will be thinking he has won the golden ticket with you!! He gets to doss around all day while you do his work and if you question him about it all he has to do is stare back and say nothing..win for him!! You need to toughen up immediately and call a meeting with your boss. Don’t stand for this, why should you?! A boss is there to sort out these staffing issues, don’t feel bad about raising this..your colleague sure as hell doesn’t for taking advantage of your nice personality!!

wowfudge · 08/08/2018 19:32

Bloody hell OP - stop volunteering yourself and state what you have on and suggest someone else does it. Your manager sounds pretty useless.

OliviaStabler · 08/08/2018 22:11

@HollowTalk No, I am not the OP Confused

Original poster
Anonomuss · 08/08/2018 22:12

Thanks everyone.

I do really like my manager and we get on well. But I do find manager very passive and doesn't like to outright say things. They give direction and hope that it will be taken as that's what they are telling us to do, which I know but colleague is blatantly ignoring this. I did mention this to boss and they actually said 'oh no, I'm going to have to get tougher aren't I' and I did say yes. I know they are reluctant to take on more of a 'you must do this' stance as everything is always said very nicely and it sounds like they are asking with the way they are saying it, but obviously you wouldn't say no to your boss when they ask you do to something.

I'm going to have to force the issue when I'm next in on Friday. Boss is off and I am going to bring up the task we each need to do and say boss has said we need to do it each day and see what response I get. I had to force the issue last week because me saying it to colleague just got ignored until boss stepped in and basically told him what to do next and then again after that. Problem is we are capable of getting on with the work without being told specifically what to do, unless it's something urgent or different so boss shouldn't need to micromanage us.

Problem is, we are the only ones who do our role so I can't work with others in the team and it's also why we sit together.

I think I am going to bring up about the atmosphere. I'm also going to use the 'I think it's Bob's turn as I'm swamped with this at the moment.'

I have confided in a colleague who has also witnessed the snippy way Bob speaks and she just came in and directly handed Bob some work rather than asking who wanted it. Bob wasn't thrilled but couldn't say no when it was done that way. I was actually ready to say no as I had been asked to spend the day doing a specific task by boss.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anonomuss · 08/08/2018 22:15

Oh and I do think he definitely doesn't like me. First week was really chatty and friendly, then, just this. Nothing happened. It was really weird. He speaks to everyone else fine. Has conversations with boss. If I join in and the 3 of us are talking he just doesn't respond to me at all and only responds to boss. If he makes a drink, when he asks me he doesn't even look at me and sometimes not even in my direction. It's really weird actually.

I actually don't care if someone doesn't like me but I don't think that gives them the right to unprofessional. I'd love to think he'll fail his probabtion but I think that's very very unlikely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anonomuss · 08/08/2018 22:20

GreenTulips at the moment I'm trained in everything and he isn't. I know what he can do and what he is doing so I am keeping a mental note of just how much I do and how little he does. I am crazy efficient but he just takes the piss tbh. I'm more than happy to do any of the work, doesn't bother me at all and I enjoy it as there are lots of things that need doing, but I'm not happy to be doing so much more when I work less hours and he has been brought in as the main person.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 08/08/2018 22:24

I'm not sure what it is you do at work, but is there any way you could have a record kept of who did what that gets sent to your manager each week?

redexpat · 09/08/2018 05:40

I think it would help if you kept an actual note rather than a mental one. Your boss doesnt sound like a very good manager.

Original poster
Anonomuss · 09/08/2018 08:15

Yeah a record may be good. There isn't a way of sending a report. Problem is because of the way we sit, I can't directly see what colleague is doing but I can work it out based on what he's not doing and what he's able to do. He often appears busy but as I can see the workload as well and know there's nothing there, I can't work out what he is actually doing.

OP posts:
OliviaStabler · 09/08/2018 08:44

Looking busy is easy. He could be writing a blog, surfing the internet and commenting etc.

ItscalledaVulva · 09/08/2018 08:52

Is there a way of allocating the work more formally, or at least recording who has completed each job? These sort of job and workload metrics are standard in lots of places, particularly if your role is providing an internal service to other areas of the organisation. Or, if he's only trained on some things, then perhaps suggest he does those things for a couple of months, and you do the other things, then reassess.