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Original poster

New job with unfriendly colleagues do I miss garden party?

12 replies

LOVELYDOVEY05 · 02/08/2018 17:21

My line manager and departmental colleagues are fine but the others are not so nice. I have only done 2 shifts and hardly been in the place a week . I start at 7 am when there is hardly anyone there and I work alone 80% of the time so I never see anyone. It is quite a large place .
I made the mistake of eating my sandwich in the staff room and was told off and told to go into the dining room
The other day I had to go in to do some training which I completed alone at a desk. Apart from going to the loo I spoke to no one. (I am sure I have passed the training very well) apart from the person who gave me the papers etc
At the end she said do not chat to anyone and do not distract people ie the other staff !! But how would I do this as I hardly see them???
Anyway I am too busy getting used to my new job
There is a garden party on and my lovely immediate colleague bounded up to me and asked me if I was going but if I went would I not be giving in to the unfriendly ones? I would not want to approach them and as it is a party it would seem odd to keep away from other guests.

OP posts:
delphguelph · 02/08/2018 17:22

To be avoided I'd say

OlennasWimple · 02/08/2018 17:25

Eh? This is a very odd place you are working at

DilianaDilemma · 02/08/2018 17:26

I'd go. You'll need your colleagues sooner or later - we all do - and if socialising is out during the work day, how else are you meant to get to know them.

Best case scenario: they positively surprise you and you may actually end up liking some of them.

Worst case scenario: you've obtained some free F&B, made no friends and excuse yourself after the obligatory hour one spends at these dos because one has to.

Singlenotsingle · 02/08/2018 17:27

You are very new there and it takes time to find your feet, integrate and make friends. You can chat to this last one, and ask her to introduce you to other people. I'd say you would be giving in to the unfriendly people if you DON'T go.

Cloudyapples · 02/08/2018 17:28

Op sounds like they see you as fresh meat so an easy target. I think NOT going would be giving in bto cause you’d be letting them isolate you. Absolutely go, socialise with nice colleague and let them intro you to nice people you’ve not met yet.

Ginslinger · 02/08/2018 17:29

I would go and socialise - it takes a while to get used to places and people

PerspicaciaTick · 02/08/2018 17:31

I'd go and meet your colleagues. Seeing them socially might break the ice (and if they are still odd, you'll know to avoid them in future).

Is there a good reason why there might be a rule about eatingin the dining room rather than the staff room?

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/08/2018 17:31

I would go to this one if I was you. Make an appearance, mingle a bit and then leave early, saying that you have a prior commitment.
After that make a decision about attending future work social events.

Original poster
LOVELYDOVEY05 · 03/08/2018 10:15

My analysis of the situation is that they are unhappy in their jobs and probably overworked. I am only very part-time and do not want to become involved in a negative situation. Now I think it is great I mainly work on my own. I think they just want me to be miserable like them and it would thwart them if I stayed away from the garden so why not go and look happy . Yes just make conversation with my close colleague

OP posts:
maxelly · 03/08/2018 10:29

Sounds like a strange workplace. Some are just like that, until you have been there long enough to be well known to people you won't be talked to a lot. Some places I've worked in also have very weird/petty customs that no-one tells you about but annoy people if you break... I once got shouted at in the first week of a new job for inadvertently breaking the (unwritten!) rules about which mugs in the kitchen were for communal use and which were for a certain department only! I'd been happily drinking my coffee from a 'forbidden' mug for days before a very worked up lady from the team who they belonged to 'had a word' and set me right- she'd clearly been building up a head of steam for a while!

It tends to be in the kind of organisation where people stay a long time in their jobs and aren't as used to new people starting that this stuff happens, and I think it's generally based on shyness/people being set in their ways and the rules and customs that have been around so long they seem obvious to them, rather than intentional nastiness, so I wouldn't take it personally. I am sure they are the same with every new person that starts.

But I agree with others, if there is at least one person at the garden party that you know and get on well with (ie your departmental colleague) then I'd go. It will create an odd impression if you don't and so long as you won't be standing on your own with no-one to talk to, it's not going to be massive chore surely?

Original poster
LOVELYDOVEY05 · 07/08/2018 12:30

Just to let you know I did go and the Management did appreciate it.
I did not have to go near the colleagues that made funny remarks and so all went well. Met colleagues families which was nice

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 07/08/2018 14:43

Well done for going, I'm glad it worked out OK.

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