Wondering whether taking this job is such a good idea

[tammybear]

Im suppose to start working in September, I will be going two weeks full training in London and then working properly. My hours are 2.30-5 Mon-Fri and then 8:45-4 on Saturdays.

Im wondering if its such a good idea as its suddenly hit me Ill be working 6 days a week, and although its only a couple of hours during the week, dd will be going to a nursery 1:30-4(hopefully) and then mum'll be picking her up and having her for dinner, and dd'll be staying at my mums on Friday nights. I will only have Sundays to spend time with her properly. So I will have to get chores and shopping and whatever else down during the week before 1pm which will be when I have to leave to take dd to nursery. Plus Ill have to take dd to tumble tots on Monday mornings.

I was hoping to go back to college to do a part time evening course as well, but then I think that might be all too much for me as most of the classes start 6 so it doesnt give me long to get to the college as well as have something to eat and even get change! Plus I dont know whether me going back to work is going to help me out money wise, as Ill be coming off IS, so will have to pay part of my rent. I know Ill get WTC and help with childcosts for the nursery, but Im already struggling with money as it is, and can just see me being even worser off for money.

I think it'll be good for both me and dd as we'll be meeting other people and both becoming a little more independant but does it sound too much? I get tired really easily, even now when I dont do much. I think Im just moaning more than wanting advice, but Id like to hear from people who have gone back to work, especially single mums who have gone back part time and its worked out well for them.

Thanks xxx

Hi tammybear,

not in the same situation as you but, even though you say you'll only have Sundays to spend with her properly you'll have every weekday morning. some of that will be eaten up with chores but surely not all of it? You might find that breaking the day up works well and that neither of you get to that stage in the day when you loose patience with each other. On the money side, I know it's ludicrously complicated with IS and WTC etc but you should be able to get some answers from the inland revenue helpline on what you can expect.

What's the worst that can happen if you take it? Would taking the job, finding it too much and deciding to give it up be so bad? What would you loose, if this is what happens? What would it be like if you didn't give it a go?

If your coming off Income Support you should really get to the job centre, they can help and I think they can sort out a sort of 2 week change over period where you still get your rent paid, something like that, and as a lone parent, unless ive got you mixed up with someone else(sorry if i have) theres all sorts of schemes etc to get you back to work with incentives so ring up the jc and they will give you an advisor who will also help you work out how much better/worse off you will be.
Good Luck!

hi hatter, of course ill be able to spend time with dd in morning. i think im just starting to get nervous about it, and like i think im just moaning to get it off my chest. I have been wanting to get a job for a while, and this particular one ive got i was most keen to get. and i know if its too much i can just hand my notice in, but i think its just nerves and i havent worked since 2002, and ive spent nearly everyday of dd's life with her. I think im starting to get seperation anxiety already

thanks charliecat, ill look into that

TB - You sound like your having wobblies about the whole thing.
Take it from me you will regret it if you don't do it.
I have applied for jobs before now, got the job and then managed to talk myself out of doing it. I have always regretted it.

CC is right, if you are coming off IS then the job centre will be able to help you sort evereything out. My friend (well CC's too actually) started work not long ago and the job centre were great sorting it all out for her. They told her how much WFTC she could get and loads of other stuff. She has been back to them since when she's had a prob and they've been great.

I'm sure you will be fine once you start and you'll really enjoy the independance.

Good Luck
Nutty xxxx

Hi again Tammybear. I think you'd be odd not to get nervous and worried about it! beating ourselves up, worrying, feeling guilty, without any regard for what we actually do is, I believe, in the mum's job description. As well as having a moan on mn and listening to moans on mn...

The most precious thing you can give your child is your time. Powerful words, but think on it.

Tammybear, last year I worked 1.30-9.30pm on 3 weekdays, and 12.00-6.00pm Saturdays and Sundays. I had mornings and 2 full days off with my 2 dses, and have a dp too, and was still knackered and felt that I lived at work. My mornings got eaten up doing the washing etc and I spent hardly any time with my dses.

I negotiated reducing my hours and now do 1.30-7.30 on 3 weekdays and 12.00-6.00 on Saturdays. However, this hasn't really worked out either as I now need more hours, so I'm now looking for another job. Some people are never happy!

Its really hard getting the balance right, but if you start the job and find its getting too much, you have a right to ask for a change in your working hours under new family-friendly employment legislation. I think this is only applicable if you have a child under 6.

I'd say suck it and see.

Hi tammybear, i agree with wots been said, i think you'll regret it if you dont give it a go, it will be very hard at first, i cried my first day at college when i had to leave dd in creche, but she took to it like a duck to water and i enjoyed the break and adult conversation. And having a coffee in peace... ahhh! Now i cant wait to get back in 4 weeks and 2 days. Not that im counting. Besides, if you really hate it, you could always cut hours down or do something else maybe? Good luck!