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Insidious bullying at work

38 replies

user1483875094 · 22/07/2018 11:48

Are there any lovely wise m.netters out there who might be able to offer some quite urgent advice? I am extremely concerned about one of my lovely colleagues. Will try to keep it brief. Small company. Boss away in usa on very special once in a life-time, one off family get together. Boss left an "equal" to me and all 5 other colleagues, as "someone to go to" but not "in charge". That someone, has taken the opportunity to, (in my view) seriously bully one of the others who, she has a history of disliking. She immediately altered that other girls working times, cutting her hours greatly, causing her serious financial difficulties. (This was without any sound reason whatsoever). She (the assumed herself boss) has not done any worthwhile work herself in the bosses absence, and has delegated all her own work to the rest of us. She has done little except strut around with her perceived bosses cap on, visibly making notes, (about us all) and has done it very deliberately about this colleague, in sight, as if to undermine her. I think this is Insidious Bullying. Colleague on the verge of a break-down, constantly in tears and now having panic attacks, terribly upset, and coming to me for support. I give as good as I possibly can, but am on the verge of advising colleague to get professional advice from acas, or such like? Cannot and will not bother poor boss, who thought he had left us "so-called" loyal group in a positive and safe environment. "Presumed boss has also criticised me, and made notes about me, but I don't give a half of a jot... When boss is back, I will tell him absolutely everything that has been going on in his absence, but how can I help poor colleague (she is, actually, a very good worker and a lovely person!!) not that that should make any difference. I have even thought of advising her to go to her doc. and get signed off with work-related stress illness, because that is absolutely what it is. A couple of days ago, I took her home, as she was shaking, crying and in a really upset state. It is effecting me a bit, because I am distracted, very worried about my colleague, very angry, and very keen for boss to be left in peace. (wonderful, kind and caring boss by the way). Any advice, please, before tomorrow? Thanks in advance. x worried me!

OP posts:
HoleyCoMoley · 27/07/2018 10:15

Well done, good for you for helping your friend and colleagues, bullies are horrid, my workplace was full of them but thankfully the bully boss took most of them with him when he left. YippeeCakeFlowersWineGin

whatisforteamum · 30/07/2018 07:39

So pleased for the outcome.Sadly I've seen this alot.Some people let the power to to their heads and become very bullying and unpleasant.

user1483875094 · 15/08/2018 18:05

Hi all, who helped me (and my poor colleague) a while ago. Sorry this is so old, but I do always try to let everyone know the "final outcome" as I have often been frustrated, when trying to help some-one and genuinely caring, and then it all just "vanishes". Well, we are all very happy because "pretend boss" has left!! The whole team are now very happy, and the atmosphere at work is now very positive. This was the best out-come, without all the nasty stuff having to happen (disciplinaries, etc. etc.) My poor bullied colleague is very much better, and has EVEN been given more seniority, which helped her immensely, and is doing incredibly well! We do have a fantastic boss, who made one silly blunder... but we are extremely fond of him, and he acted well, and sorted it out, and we are all now very happy!! Thank you all again for your help, tips and advice. xx

OP posts:
helacells · 15/08/2018 18:36

Yay ! well done for sticking your neck out, many wouldn't have bothered.

user1483875094 · 15/08/2018 19:01

Thank you so much HelA!!! XX

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 15/08/2018 19:06

Brilliant result OP!! Lovely to hear a story with an outcome that was actually deserved.

butterfly56 · 15/08/2018 19:07

loads of Flowers Flowers Flowers for you and your lovely colleague OP! Absolutely great news! Grin

CarolineForbes · 15/08/2018 19:16

Thanks OP for coming back and telling everyone the ending. I’m so glad it worked out well!

sunsunsunsunsun · 16/08/2018 06:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1483875094 · 16/08/2018 07:28

Hi Sun Sun, thanks. I do hope for you and your colleagues as well that that bully leaves. You are quite right, it is awful how much damage can be done to peoples health, confidence and self esteem, when someone with this "power" fixation gets into a position where they can use it. Quite terrifying really. Good luck! xx

OP posts:
IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 16/08/2018 07:33

What a great result. I hope your colleague has recovered, these things take a massive toll on people's mental and physical health.

NewUserNameTime · 16/08/2018 12:01

Great update!

acatcalledjohn · 16/08/2018 15:05

Wonderful update!

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