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Original poster

Going back to teaching after 5 months

11 replies

Gigis · 18/07/2018 21:34

Ok...I need to hear from those of you who are teachers who returned to work before your baby was 6 months old.

Dd will be in a nursery on my school site, so I can pop over and get to her fast if she needs me. I am just about going stir crazy, the baby stage is definitely not my favourite and today bit the bullet and decided it would be best for all if I go back in September at the start of the year. There are several reasons for this, mostly boil down to it being easier to have good classroom control if the kids have consistency from the start, and allowing me to organise myself better as I won't need to do a handover.

However. Several colleagues have reacted with sheer horror at the idea of going back to work after 5 months off. I am relatively young amongst my colleagues and have found several comments quite patronising about me not knowing how hard it will be to be away from my baby, about am I sure I will be dressed in time to leave the house, am I sure I'll manage a full timetable and wouldn't I prefer part time (er, yes but it's not an option!)

so tell me, teachers who chose to go back early because they wanted to not because they had to, is it really as stupid an idea as I'm being made to believe it is? Or is it a case of my colleagues forgetting that maternity leave isn't some relaxing, blissful holiday!

OP posts:

Original poster

Gigis · 18/07/2018 21:41

Also just to make it clear, dd will be just over 5 months when term starts. She will be 6 months at the end of September.

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TwinkleMerrick · 18/07/2018 21:59

I'm a teacher and I can totally understand why you want to go back in September. I went off end of April and due back in January and don't intend to go back a day earlier. This is partly because I've been teaching for 10 years and I want some time off. Also I'm not worried about class room control but I only teach ks4 atm. I think if my nursery was on the school site I would think differently. Do what feels right for you and your baby. Sod everyone else!

MissMarplesKnitting · 18/07/2018 22:01

I did this when DC1 was similar age.

I have to be honest, it damn near killed me. I asked to go part time ASAP. But I have a DH who works away from home a fair bit, and who has a long commute.

Original poster

Gigis · 18/07/2018 22:14

Thank you both for your insight. I also have a dh who works a long way away, however I have my parents, sister and dh parents 20 minutes away from me all of whom are very involved in my daughter's life and upbringing.

I suppose I feel a bit peeved after yet another 'you don't know what you're letting yourself in for' message this evening. I just wanted to check whether it really was awful. I have to say I know how lucky I am to have a nursery on site and lots of support, I think the people telling me I will go off on stress maybe had less support when they had their babies (and are perhaps imagining if they had to go through it again, only this time as 45+ year olds!)

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QueenDoria · 18/07/2018 22:19

I went back when my first was 5 months. There were many on the staff body who had had to go back when their babies were 3 months old as maternity entitlement wasn't so generous then.
You'll be fine!!

TwinkleMerrick · 18/07/2018 23:12

Just to let you know I also only work 3 days a week. If you ever get the opportunity to go part time I highly recommend it. I am on a UPS 1 wage so I can afford it. In my first years of teaching I wouldn't of been able to afford it.

To be honest, as I'm not earning as much I pay less in tax, student loan etc which means I don't come out with much less than a full time wage anyway. Worth looking into if you ever get the chance.

My mental health is so much better as a result xx

twolittleboysonetiredmum · 19/07/2018 05:25

I went back when my first was 7 mths (later with the 2nd and 3rd babies but only as we could afford it) and it was fine. I was exhausted but am exhausted now too, chn are generally just tiring! We have no support from family either.
A colleague went back when her babies were 3 mths old both times and has coped fine too. It’s totally doable and I found my eldest coped better with nursery as he knew no different whereas the other 2 struggled with the separation more.
Do what you have to do, everyone’s experiences of work and babies is so different

FoxAndBear · 19/07/2018 05:38

Not a teacher so can't offer any help on that front but any unwanted opinions from colleagues I would shut down immediately. Today sexist crap.

'My husband went back after 2 weeks and nobody judged him for that' and so on.

Original poster

Gigis · 19/07/2018 16:45

Agree with sexist crap but surprised it all seems to be coming from women. Got confirmation today that September start was all good and some colleagues seem to be taking the 'If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all' road. I.e. I know they have seen my email about my return, and I know they disapprove but they've just point blanked ignored it. I am a bit hurt, we were a really close team and it seems that one matriarch in particular has spread her disapproval through the rest of the team.

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CMOTDibbler · 19/07/2018 17:01

I'm not a teacher, but went back to work FT when ds was 4.5 months old, he went to a nursery. It was fine tbh, I kept bfing till he was nearly 2, we had (and still have) a fantastic bond and as he was little he settled into nursery straight away with no separation anxiety.
People were judgy, but it worked great for us, and DH was a fully committed part of this - he also didn't get used to me being at home and doing domestic stuff, so it was very equal

Momo27 · 20/07/2018 08:22

I’m a teacher and went back when dc1 was 3 months- standard ML back then! I did 3 days a week rather than full time, but the practicalities - still breastfeeding and dealing with night waking, were the same.

My experience was that physically it’s hard work: teaching is a tough enough job anyway, and when you’re bf a small baby, doing nappies and a childminder drop (plus getting yourself up, dressed and out!) all before arriving at work at 8am... let’s just say it’s definitely physically much harder than being at home.

BUT I would say from pretty much every other angle it’s actually a really good option to return early. Emotionally I found it much easier to start leaving a 3 month old than if I’d been with him non stop for a year. Also, I think if I’d had a year off as often happens now, Id have got into a completely different routine and returning to work would have been a massive shock, whereas I felt more like I’d had an extended period of leave, but in no way felt out of the loop. It really wasn’t hard to pick up where I’d left off. I was out of school for one term only, so I didn’t feel that loads of stuff had happened in my absence.

It’s a shame that your colleagues aren’t being supportive- but sadly IME it does tend to be other women who feel threatened by mums who don’t do as they did. When I returned to work, other mums tended to be same as me (returning after 3 months) or they were giving up work. I did get a few incredulous comments from mums who couldn’t believe how any of us could possibly leave our 3 month olds...
All I can say is that 3 month old and his siblings are now adults, very happy and well adjusted- plus I still have a good career! You’ll be fine.

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