Manager seriously taking the piss... WWYD if you were me??

[HeyPesto55]

So my LM (think senior role, manages own diary, lots of autonomy) went through a period of personal problems about 3 months ago and ever since has been taking the piss at work (fake meetings, not turning up, leaving really early, starting late, working from home last minute). Generally just taking the piss.

There are only 3 permanent members of staff in our team, me, her and my division head. She is very close to the division head and they are also guilty of similar behaviour. The rest of the team are aware but as they are all contractors, they laugh and joke about it and just offer me lots of sympathy.

So the thing is, it's beginning to become a real problem because she has started telling me what she's doing and I feel complicit in her piss taking.

I also really value my professional integrity and feel totally compromised.

It's review period soon. I have no idea what to do for the best! I really value her as a friend so am very torn.

Any ideas?? 

Who is your review with? If it's not her talk about how the workload seems to be increasing, how it would be useful to analyse working systems to see if anything can be done more efficiently.

Don't bring it up but if asked be diplomatic - it's not always easy to see her as she is out of the office in meetings quite a lot.

It's with her. I don't feel that's the right time to bring it up anyway really. Though I like your thinking....

To be honest, I've tried subtle comments to her and extended team members. I think it's been largely lost as I am bottom of pecking order.

I would do my best to ignore it and avoid the subject if she tries to discuss it with you.

People who do this generally find enough rope to hang themselves with. Don't assume it has gone unnoticed by the powers that be.

Thanks for the replies, guys. Choose your battles, right. I can't see any good coming of speaking out it I am really worried someone will find out and ask me why I didn't say anything??? Like I said I feel kind of complicit. Oh, it's so tricky. I'm annoyed I'm in this situation tbh. Seems a bit unfair!

OP - From experience of speaking out, I’m afraid it’s gets you nowhere and all you achieve is a bucket load of stress. My manager swore at me, I raised it with senior manager and it was implied that it was my fault.. (all I did was follow the instructions she gave me but somehow senior manager turned it round to it being my fault)..

Sorry to hear that, Oddsocks. Don't ever be ashamed of doing the right thing. I'm a firm believer that you should stay true to your values.

But you are all saying what I suspect might happen and I feel I need to be smart about what I want to achieve.

Plus, I am looking for a promotion and I can't see how alienating both my manager and probably her manager is going to help that.

I think I'll carry on with the withering, knowing looks and leave them to it. Refuse to be dragged down. I love my job and company and just feel that it deserves so much better. Hey ho.

OP it sounds like a frustrating and unfair situation you are in, but if I were you I wouldn't say anything unless you are asked directly or it starts to affect your work. Definitely pick your battles!

Thanks, Stroller. I think I know that is the safest advice, just needed to hear it.

I am waiting for promotion and then I might ask for a team change. People that love their jobs don't behave like this so am hoping this means they'll both wake up and do us all a favour and find something they do like doing!

Particularly loving the fact my manager's manager has given her a really good review rating and an extra special recognition award. The world has gone mad.

HeyPesto - left the job where the Manager swore at me to a different company where current Manager gets away with watching tv on her phone sat at her desk, comes in late, goes home early and has an extended lunch break. Nothing is said and she gets an excellent end of year review.

I really value her as a friend so am very torn

Classing yourself as a friend to your LM is setting yourself up for significant problems over the long term.

There need to be boundaries which are incredibly difficult to enforce. There's a power element to this - in that, functionally you report to someone in authority yet they are telling you about their 'bad behaviour' which you then have to cover up.

An unhealthy situation imo.

Daisychain, very true indeed. And actually friend is maybe pushing it, in that I don't see her out of work functions. I do, however, really like her, get on well with her and am aware of her quite recent and very personal issues at home. I just really can't stand this behaviour at work.

I totally agree all boundaries are shot! Mainly by her though. Suspect she is on self destruct and this is either her way of getting help/attention or her way of sticking a bit fat middle finger up at the world... haven't worked out which!

It's all a bit sad really

Oddsocks, people not doing anything really pushes my buttons so I'd rather have a sweary boss... which says a lot about me I think.

Which do you prefer/least hate?

heypesto interesting question, sweary boss was also very cold and unapproachable and I didn’t feel welcome in her team. Lots of whole team meetings where I was left behind to sit a desk with another persons kids pictures on that I wasn’t allowed to move. Sweary boss used to send me emails for mundane communications when she was sat literally just to the side of me.

Although current boss really rubs me up with her laziness, I was made to feel really welcome by other team members straight away. In fact it was my birthday soon after I started and they clubbed in for a present for me.

So I prefer current situation but as I said that is to do with others in the office more than boss herself.