Have you ever regretted quitting with no replacement job

[myusernameisnotmyusername]

Hi I have been in my job 18months. I have written out my resignation and am mulling over whether to do it or not. I am going to be vague as don't want to be outing so apologies. I have never really liked it. Don't like the company, the structure, the customers are very difficult to deal with. There's almost no flexibility for my childcare and other things (family funeral, sickness etc). I have done extra hours before to finish something and never been paid so I'm not a taker. Anyway we got a new boss and one minute she's rude and the next minute nice. I can't predict what she'll be like. It's just got to the point where this is my life and I need to get out before I get signed off or something. But I don't know if I'm being irresponsible or should be kind to myself. Every day is full of stress with little reward. I've had 18 months of tears, worrying and lack of sleep and I think I should bite the bullet but I'm scared I won't get another job. Can't talk to boss because tried to leave before and she told me to stop being silly.

How are your finances ? If you can afford to not be earning for a couple of months then do it...if you will struggle then perhaps take some holiday and apply for every job that you can find. There is nothing worse than being in a job that you hate and dread going onto every day.

I've done this and it's been the best decision I ever made - returned to the area I'm educated in and got my dream job. BUT I've also been let go with no notice and ended up in the shit. Whether or not you should do it I think actually doesn't have that much to do with the job itself as your financial situation. Do you have enough family income to support you in the short term? What are job prospects like in your industry or part of the country? How good are you at the job application process? Have you already started applying and have you made any headway? If you're confident you won't be high and dry then there's no reason to put yourself through the stress but if you need the job then you might have to suck it up for a bit. Remember, if you leave voluntarily you won't be entitled to any support for several weeks. Sadly you'd be better off being signed off.

It sounds like you really do need to get out, however:

Plan your finances accordingly.

Average job search in the UK in 2018 takes 8 months. Obviously this varies by industry/ position/ experience/ desperation but the general advice is to plan to be unemployed for 8 months and then anything less is a bonus.

Remember you will be unable to claim benefits for around 26 weeks if you make yourself intentionally unemployed, so you can't fall back on that.

It is considerably harder to find employment if you are unemployed vs if you're in a job.

Ultimately only you know your situation, so if you can afford to be unemployed for 8 months and feel your CV and experience is strong enough to withstand up to an 8 month employment gap, you're right to quit now and save your mental health.

However, my advice would always always be that if you have a choice, stay in your job until you have something to go to.

Out of interest, what's prevented you from looking for another job for the last 18 months while you've been unhappy?

No direct experience OP, but I have stayed in a job I really disliked and was on the point of quitting, until I found another job (about 6 months, plus a notice period of a few more weeks) and looking back I think it was the right thing to do. The job market was tougher than I anticipated and while I could have afforded a few months without pay, I would have been in serious trouble before job-seeker benefits kicked in and would probably have had to take a worse job than the one I eventually got, just to make ends meet.

I can't be sure but I think it was also easier without a gap on my CV, some employers (not all) are definitely suspicious of gaps without a clear explanation (obviously career breaks to look after children or retrain or travel are different!) and will tend to assume you've been 'let go'...

I found that once I had decided I was done and was fully committed to looking for another job, I was able to let go of a lot of the things that were bothering me, annoying colleagues, a rubbish boss, horrible customers etc. as they not longer really mattered and I was generally less stressed. I probably wasn't doing anything more than an adequate job but I felt better in myself!

But that was quite a minor situation really, only you know quite how bad things are and how badly it's affecting you. Nothing is more important than your health and if you get really unwell it obviously won't help in a job search either.

No, but I did walk into a temp office the day after and had work that week. Lower paid but affordable and I then returned into education following a year temping.
Make sure finances are watertight before making your final decision

Don't leave without something else to go into. Even if you have money put aside, the longer you are looking for work, the bigger the gap on your CV gets.

I did (similar circs) and it worked out fantastically. If you are comfortable about your hire-ability and can afford a few months out, then do it! I gave myself three months to not even think about job-hunting, and instead focused on what I really liked doing so I knew what I did (and didn't) want in my next job. Good luck!

I've done it twice. On one occasion the timing wasn't ideal - a week before Christmas- but I've always managed to get temporary work within a month. Temping is ideal if you want A job and not necessarily THE job. It also gives you the opportunity to "test drive" different roles and companies before committing to a contract.

Thank you for all your replies. I should've mentioned really that I have done it before- 3 times. But the first was to go travelling and move away the second was to start a college course that I never started because I discovered I was pregnant! I then did a bit of temping but that dried up because it became obvious I was having a baby! The third was because we moved away again so I am worried I'll just look like a bit of a quitter. In answer to employability I work in finance, in credit control so there are always jobs around and lots of temping. I've had a lot of interest but limited because I can't get out of work easily to go to an interview. And I have no annual leave left until October. The last interview I had I practically had the job so took annual leave for the second interview but talked myself up too much and the manager thought I'd get bored in the role so that was that. We would manage day to day but would have no 'treats' or fun days out and wouldn't pay any debts off. Also I am on medication to help me get pregnant again so that's obviously something to think about. I don't think I would get pregnant but it happened the first time
I just feel so stressed- every time dd comes home with something for school I start worrying how I can get time off work and although my manager has never said no- yet I don't want to keep asking. I have quite bad anxiety and this job is making it ten times worse but are there any flexible jobs out there anyway? The one I nearly got said they were quite flexible but I don't know if they would've been. Sorry for rambling!

I'm also thinking about a complete career change so now seems like it could be the time but I don't want to get pushed into something else either.

Just a thought.. do you think you can ask for job share ? Doing 2.5 days a week would reduce your stress and still give you time for interviews/time for school stuff. Just ask your boss you have nothing to lose if your going to quit anyway ?

I did it once when I was 21, was my first job that I was just bloody miserable in. Handed in my notice. Left on a Wednesday, went to an agency on Thursday and started my new temping job on the Monday. This was about 18 years ago mind!

Personally, with children and other responsibilities I wouldn't jump ship without something else to go to.

If you've done it lots before, have a long honest think about if what you're trained in is the right career for you. Issues with your boss and Co-workers will always come up, but if you do something you enjoy it shouldn't matter so much.

Definitely not millipede! It's s good idea but it's not that kind of company.

I've only ever done it once before to try a different kind of career. The other times were genuine moving away because of my partner's job. I enjoy the work just not the structure of the company and the customers. Plus you really are stuck there. There's next to no flexibility. I had to email my boss just to change my hours by 15 minutes for just two days!

And to give a bit of context lots of people have left the company in recent months without another job to go to but all these comments have helped me think about this more rationally so thanks. I think I also need to work on my anxiety because it is making me react in an unhealthy way.

I hope you don't take this wrong OP and please believe this is coming from a place of understanding (I'm also an anxiety sufferer).

You sound like your anxiety might be having a bigger role in this than first imagined.

You say you feel it's difficult to ask for time off but your manager has never said no but you still feel bad asking. What about another job would change this?

If you'd take a significant financial hit if you were out of work (which it sounds like you would from your post), that will do nothing to help your stress levels.

Anxiety makes us impulsive and I think that might be what's going on here. Fight or flight is an impulse after all, and with anxiety your fight or flight response triggers more easily than others. This manifests in all sorts of ways, but most notably for me at least and the way I can tell if my anxiety is playing up is I have an irrational need to get myself away from things in my life which cause me stress at all costs. I make up ways in my head that I could do it and even though the consequences (i realise once i recover) would have been disastrous, at the time they seem totally manageable and doable. Anxiety lies to us and tries to get us to act if the 'in the moment' results look good and ignores the long term consequences because that's what it's designed to do: get us out of immediate danger/ stress. Once I realised this, it allowed me to recognise the signs of anxiety vs what I actually want, and it helps.

If you get more annual leave in October, that's only 11 weeks away. For such a massive decision, you need more time to think this through anyway especially if you're an anxiety sufferer. My advice would be wait until your new annual leave entitlement kicks in and start your job hunt then.

I hope you take this in the tone it's intended OP

Anxiety is a dick.

Hi @OrangeGoblinHunter thank you for your comments. I have completely taken it in the way you intended and I think I have been suspecting this myself. Thanks for sharing your own feelings and experience. How do you cope with it? I'm going to start acupuncture for my fertility issues and hope that will help with the anxiety but how do you deal with it when it hits you in the face because I find myself getting quite defensive with my boss which can't be helping matters (although you have to be tough with her in a way iyswim) I'm quite surprised I've been in this role for as long as I have (15 years at different companies) because it can be very stressful at time but there are parts of it I enjoy. However I know I need to make changes carefully and don't want my job to be my life. My boss has said if I need to change my hours for any reason to email her and she will decide so although I don't like the anxiety around that I think she's trying to be fair. And I can't keep worrying about it and feeling guilty if I can't attend something at school. I know I need something more flexible but I have to deal with what I've got at the minute and I would appreciate any advice for that. Thanks.

Oh and I agree- anxiety is a dick- it really is!

I"m in quite a high powered position and it's been really tough to learn coping strategies on the fly to be honest without it affecting peoples opinion of me/ my job. I've done it though, miraculously.

My main one is that when I feel myself tensing and beginning to feel that 'dark cloud descending' feeling, I go somewhere quiet for 5 minutes, close my eyes and think the following:

1. "What's the root?" - this is where I'll look for the actual thing that's causing the anxiety to trigger off. So for example recently I had some good feedback from my CEO about a presentation I did. My anxiety triggered because his compliment in my head meant he was surprised I'd done well and I thought I'd only done ok, so to me it meant he thought I was so rubbish usually that my mediocre performance that day stood out. This is quite clearly irrational, but at the time it was completely normal to me.

1. Once you've got the root, imagine how you on your best day would have reacted to this. If you cant picture yourself on your best day, do the same thing but with someone you admire.

1. If how your best day self would react is different to how you're feeling right now, it's your anxiety reacting and not you.

1. Once you know it's the anxiety, it's easy because you KNOW your feelings about the situation are fight or flight and not rational. From there, it's 'this too shall pass' and 'this is anxiety, it's illness not madness' and 'chin up chicken'.

Sometimes, step 2 doesnt do it for me and in that case, I take the situation to the extreme. So for example, if something has happened like I've done something wrong on a piece of work, I imagine what's the very worst thing that can happen. I then take that to the extreme. It always has to end in your untimely death. Example:

I miscalculated something that went to a client
I emailed them to correct myself
They emailed back, absolutely furious and contact my boss
My boss is furious and fires me on the spot
I go home and she black lists me with all other employers in the area
I can't find work
I lose our house
I end up on the streets
I turn to drugs
I die of an overdose aged 28 in a layby on the M6.

Then, I look back at my imagined scenario and check all the bits I have control over, and all the bits that are likely/ unlikley. EG: Is it likely the client will be at all upset if I correct a genuine mistake as soon as I realise I've made it? Probably not. Will they contact my boss? Almost certainly not. Would my boss be mad anyway considering I corrected it? Absolutely not. Would she fire me? She can't, I'm not in breach of contract and I've done nothing wrong that can't be fixed. Am I likely to get involved with drugs? No.

Bit by bit you can dismantle your fear and it works for me to calm me down. I prefer the first method but this is a good backup :)

Also, fluoxitine helped me A LOT in the early stages, I don't take it anymore and haven't for a year now, but for the first 2 years of this shit it kept my head above water.

I've just done it! I handed in my notice for a job I love because I need more hours (it's only 6 a week) and I told myself last September it'd be my last. I've worked for a school so today was my last day and I wanted a clean break even though I only need to work a months notice.

I started looking in March, but more seriously in April/May. I got my first interview last week and was offered the job with a 2 week start! So instead of worrying that I wouldn't have anything lined up for September I'm actually working 2 jobs this month.

If you have a backup plan financially then go for it.

Hi Op

I am considering the same, my post is on here about me thinking I'm going to be sacked!! is it possible you would get tax credits help if you left your job to tide you over so there was no immediate rush for you to search for work and figure out what it is you like to do I am wondering if I can do the same to be honest..
I have three children, the eldest of which has autism and receives the highest rate of pip in full-time education still, but my husband currently earns 36k I'm not sure if I would be entitled