Signed off sick, WIBU to go away?

[Arkengarthdale]

I've been signed off work sick due to low mood and exhaustion due to various things - injury, bereavement, caring duties amongst other things - it's all got a bit much and I've fallen apart. I've been signed off for a fortnight and prescribed antidepressants which won't kick in for a few days, and told to rest, recover, practise mindfulness, eat plenty of fresh fruit and veg and be kind to myself. I have an amazing opportunity to do this at a friends house - would it be ok to go away for a week to recover, do you think? However, the friends house is in France and I'm not...

I would take leave personally. It wouldn't feel right to take a proper holiday. If you are doubtful then ask your employers.

I know it shouldn't matter but I would
Worry what my colleagues would think. This would bother me a lot if other people had to cover my workload for me.

I think getting out and about can be good for you especially if your flat is gloomy but going on a proper holiday is a bit of a stretch.

Titty has a point about OH appointments but they shouldn't be sprung on you - and you have every right to request they are at your home and not at work if that is best for you.

That’s not a legal right.

The thing is, this is not a holiday as such. I am actually ill enough not to be able to work. So although I would 'go away', I wouldn't 'go on holiday' unless you class any time being away from work as being in holiday. I won't be staying in my poky flat, I will be staying elsewhere anyway and Work fully expect me to do that (with family over 200 miles away).

I'm not well enough to have a jolly time wherever I am, it would just be warmer and quieter in a cottage in France. And the food's cheaper and fresher too. I won't be sightseeing

Oh and no one will cover my workload

Will you tell your employer?

I probably won't go. I'd hate to do anything wrong. I'm in such a state that I can't actually call my boss and talk, I've told him by email I've been signed off. I realise that the prospect of being in the sun by a pool and on my own is lovely but I don't have the wherewithal to get permission to do it. But thanks to everyone for your replies, this is a nice way of talking to someone 🙂

If you have a Fit Note from your GP, then legally you are covered for the period of absence. You can give them the original version when you return from your sick leave.

It would be a very unreasonable employer to "check out" an employee for such a short period of 2 weeks. If a month or longer, maybe they would need a meeting. They will want to give the person space to clear their head and regain strength so that the absence doesn't extend a lot longer due to them continuing to keep the employee in a state of stress.

I hope you feel better very soon, Ark

OP wrote "Oh and no one will cover my workload"

That just means there will be at least a two week delay in everything going on at the office. Don't expect to be able to recoup once you come back, it's better to ask your boss to reassign some of the more urgent workload to other colleagues. It's his job to see to these things and arrange whatever needs to be arranged, he gets paid to take care of issues like this.

Or she, if it's a female manager, i just realise I made the terrible mistake of assuming "the boss" to be male....

Ah go lovely, don't listen to the jobsworths. You're not exactly going on an 18-30 bender, just to chill in the sun at a friend's. Staying with friends or family is sensible, this one just happens to be in France. You're signed off to recuperate from your stress/ depression, and that's what you will be doing.

I agree both that it's a good idea for your health in the circumstances you describe, but it would be much more sensible and honest to discuss with your supervisor.

I'd expect them to be supportive, particularly as it sounds as if you have GP support for the trip (and yes, it's wellness recovery, not a holiday), but if you hide it, maybe not so much. That would be my feeling as a boss. Tell me the truth and you have my support, I agree with GP, go rest and get some breathing space.

If you hide something from me, not liking that so much. International dial tones, accidental slip up you or someone else mentioning it, you having to lie. Lying is never a good idea, gets tangled and usually comes out eventually.

Go, absolutely, its a really good idea and you have your doctor's support, but have a chat with your employer about it.

Hope you feel better soon

It sounds as if work are being supportive, you could say to them 'Dr thinks I should go away to recover. I have had two offers - family 200 miles away or friend in France. I think the France option would be more relaxing but wanted to check with you before I decide.' Remember it is partly the depression talking when it seems like too much hassle. Can you honestly say that you won't spend the time with family wishing that you were swimming in a pool in France? One thing I would check though is that you have a current EHCP card as travel insurance might not cover you for any costs related to your existing illness.

I think going away somewhere you would enjoy would be something a doctor would recomend. A change of scenery should do you a world of good. I hope you go, and it helps you.

I would definitely go OP.
Also you say that you will otherwise be going to stay with family 200miles away. If I went to stay with family 200 miles from me then that would be with my lovely in laws in france (which for me when my depression is bad would be infinitely more relaxing than with my own parents) so in my mind at least the distance isn’t an issue.

Would you feel able to email your boss
I have been invited to stay with a friend in France during my recovery period, after discussing with my family and dr I feel that this would be a better environment to relax and improve my mental health however I am concerned that this may be viewed unfavourably within the office. Please could you confirm that it will not affect my employment if I am to travel abroad during my sick leave.

You don't need to ask your employer's permission to go away to recuperate. Just go. This idea that you have to stay stuck in your own four walls if not fit to work is just silly.

If they call you to check in on you and get an international dial tone it will raise some very difficult questions

Switch off your mobile phone. Sorted.

Thanks again all. Boss (male) will reduce the amount of work he generates for me when I'm off and normally when I'm well I have huge capacity for work so if I make a good enough recovery I will be able to catch up. I work away from home during the week so it's my own house with DH that is 200 miles away from my poky weekday flat, hence Work expecting me to go home. But DH is currently in the Middle East on business so I'd be going to an empty house.

Thanks for the good wishes

I think it is really sensible to go somewhere with people around you in that case. I think you could just say that you would prefer to be around people than alone at home.