How to deal with this moving forward

[BeakyPlinder]

I'd like some advice regarding a recent situation at work. I work for a large company and recently joined a new team as a relatively senior member of staff. Last week had a meeting with some very senior staff that consisted of a lot of criticism.

I did not handle this well. Essentially I sat there and listened to the point I felt I was going to burst into tears and left the room. One member of staff came to ask if I was ok and I excused myself from the rest of the meeting. I know that my reaction was unprofessional but I need advice on how to move forward with my seniors now. I haven't been in office with them since due to our schedules and want some advice on how to handle myself. I know I need to apologise for my reaction and try and take on board the criticism. But I am devesatated that I have been working so hard and trying my absolute best and it's not been enough. I need some advice on how to develop my emotional intelligence as I know I shouldn't take it personally but it's so hard when you are so invested in something that your told needs to improve.

Please help me mumsnetters

Just for clarification - was the criticism related to the work you have been doing in the new team that you have only recently joined? If so why are they jumping in with criticism so soon?

Also was one of these very senior colleagues your line manager? Or were they senior to your line manager?

It seems strange for a group of senior staff to behave like this, when you are fairly new to the team.

Mostly it was criticism of the department as a whole and specifically our teams input. My line manager wasn't there it was her superiors who up until this point I have had very little to do with.

I'm so annoyed at myself for not handling the situation better and now I need to pull my big girl pants up and address the situation

Can you discuss it with your own line manager? Could they / Would they shoulder the blame and tell the seniors they were out of order? Sounds like you were caught unprepared - probably not your fault - as there's maybe a backstory (repeated missed deadlines / errors etc) which pre-dates your arrival, and you became the scapegoat.

I wonder if your line manager was expecting this criticism and left you to be the scapegoat? A good line manger would have anticipated these criticisms and prepared you with the responses.