Need advice / moral support!
I returned to work a few weeks ago after a 3 year career break from the public sector. They guaranteed me a role at the same management grade and then HR matched me to a part time vacancy at my level, based on my c.v and experience etc. On the face of it it seemed a good job for me that I would be well suited to but I was a bit concerned there wasn't much of a job description/ no chance to meet the line manager as she is 200 miles away and I've been allocated to an office at the other end of the country to her. However, this is normal practice in this organisation so I was kind of expecting it.
Long story short I've found it incredibly difficult going back to work after 3 years out as a SAHM. I had a baby whilst off so I now have 2 kids and it's that bit harder working again with 2 to think about compared to working with 1 in childcare. Eldest is 5 at school, youngest is 2 at nursery / child Minder alternate days.
I asked for a phased return and they agreed willingly. Partly to get used to working again and partly to use up accrued annual leave. So I built up to 3 days part time over 3 weeks, ie 1 day then 2 days then 2.5 until in a proper 3 day a week pattern. Even in this phased return period they were allocating me work to do and giving me no guidance as to how to do it. One example was being asked on day one to go find a missing amount of money that my member of staff hadn't paid a client. And I'm talking best part of £1m so it was a major issue. I'm pretty senior (team leader, £47k minimum payscale etc) so it's a level where they expect a lot of independence from you and to lead your staff and get on with it. However, I feel as if no one has helped me to get to grips with the basic stuff like get accustomed to the IT/ introduce myself to people / figure out who everyone is in the team. No one has taken me under their wing and offered any support.
I realise it's different when you're not junior staff etc but the office has massively changed and how we do business has changed after a major round of redundancies/ restructuring 18 months ago. So I start a piece of work thinking I know how to do it then realise that the process has changed and it's not the way we work now. Except no one has warned me of this and I so I'm all at sea wondering how to take work forward.
It just feels so hard trying to get to grips with some major projects and manage 2 staff when I can barely operate the computer! It feels like I've been dropped in at the deep end / being used as Summer holiday cover whilst even more senior managers go off on holiday now "back up"has arrived. I've tried raising it with my line manager but she only started 3 weeks before me on promotion and I get the sense she is struggling a bit too / couldn't give a F. The line management chain are quite lot younger than me (mid 30s no Kids) and I don't think they appreciate how hard it's been even coming back into the workplace after a long break, let alone trying to get to grips with a load of management issues that all seem to need dealing with straight away.
Been feeling overwhelmed and had a major hit to my confidence, but it was pretty low to begin with after being anxious about working again after a long time off. Have had very little in the way of an induction and HR are avoiding my emails / calls seeking help.
Just wondering how to best deal with it a now. Thinking of putting my thoughts around how I'm finding the job so far, into an email this weekend to my line manager as she doesn't seem to get it when I've tried to talk to her about it over the phone. Something along the lines of : "now I've been here 11 days i wanted to mention how I'm finding my experiences here." She just brings the conversation right back to work I'm doing and how have I progressed it when we have one to one catch ups.
Any thoughts / ideas on my suggestion would be great! Anyone else been through this?