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Crazy unreasonable boss - HELP!

10 replies

gembar90 · 11/07/2018 09:31

I don't really know where to start!

I work for a small family run business. It's owned by a husband and wife and I am one of four employees. It's close to home, decent hours and pay is ok. I looked forward to starting as it seemed ideal and I thought working for a small company, I'd be looked after better and there'd be more of a sense of being a close knit team etc.

The husband is crazy! He supposedly hired myself and another guy so that we could take on some of his tasks to free him and his wife up so they could start taking time off and start leaving the business a bit more (they're both in their early 60s). He can not relinquish control. He questions everything and is constantly literally looking over our shoulders. My training consisted of him showing me how to do everything just once (there's quite a lot to do and it's fairly complicated) and then screaming and shouting at me when I kept getting things wrong when left to my own devices. When I would tell him I didn't understand and ask to be shown again he would just give me a filthy look and tell me I should know what I'm doing! So I had to teach myself a job that no one other than him knew how to do.

Any time a mistake is made he screams, shouts, swears, calls us stupid and says our processes are completely wrong and we are useless and he can't trust us with anything. And it's just tiny mistakes, human error!

I'm scared of him. I've cried many times at work. It's not what I expected at all. staff have walked out and I've been told no one has ever left on good terms. There's no HR Dpt or anything to go to.

When I had a death in the family in January he started off supportive but when I called in one day in tears saying I couldn't face coming in as I was upset about it he started shouting at me down the phone about how it was unacceptable and now he would have to work late to make sure my work was finished. He actually said "what, are you depressed or something? See a doctor then!"

Today I'm off sick. I think it's more anxiety related tbh as I can't face him today. He's really been aggressive in the office lately. He has text me saying I have to call him at 12 and he expects me in this afternoon as I'm booked into a conference call. Is he allowed to do this?! I'm not going in. There's nothing in my contract about me having to phone him once I've let him know I'm off. I thought once he knew I'm off today he should leave me alone?! Also, my colleague is booked into the call too so he can still take it and catch me up on it?

I am job hunting like mad as I can't stand it. Is there anything I can do? My colleagues and I have started confronting him and telling him we don't appreciate the way he speaks to us but it just seems to set him off even more. One colleague has suggested we have a meeting with him about it but he's one of those people who thinks he's right all the time and knows every loophole and employment law so I fear he will just shout us down. Also cos it's his business I worry he will just say if you don't like it then leave!

Sorry this is so long. A bit of a rant I guess. I'm just at a loss. He's exhausting to be around I've never met anyone like him! TIA xx

OP posts:
Sorry10 · 11/07/2018 10:01

My god what a horrible person he sounds, nobody should have to deal with abuse like that. Next time he speaks to you say calmly I will not have you speaking to me like that.
Like your collegue suggested have a meeting with him if that doesn't work try and ignore him until you have another job. You are worth more than this , save your energy for your job search .
Unfortunatley people like this don't change and if he thinks he can replace you then good luck to him as the next person won't last either.
I would rather do temping than go to work and be in tears.
Its just disgusting how he treats his staff .

bertielab · 11/07/2018 10:07

Organise a meeting with him -take a friend. Phone a union or ask the CAB for advice.

mermaid5 · 11/07/2018 11:05

Thanks guys. Scary as it is looks like may have to have a meeting. Will still keep looking for other jobs. Really need something permanent rather than temp as we are recent first time home buyers

Sorry10 · 11/07/2018 11:08

I understand , just keep looking but you just need to take care that the job doesn't make you ill.

OliviaStabler · 12/07/2018 09:34

Is there anyway that the wife can help and intervene? It might help in the interim while you secure another role.

Crazymaisienumber9 · 12/07/2018 09:50

Try ringing acas for advice.

mermaid5 · 12/07/2018 11:44

She used to intervene a bit but sometimes she can be just as bad as him and she makes excuses for him acting that way. They also argue a lot in the office in front of us. Literally screaming and swearing at each other and slamming doors. I don't think it's a very happy marriage! Just have the business that's keeping them stuck together is my impression. I don't think she gives two hoots about it and makes it very clear she hates working there 🤷🏻‍♀️

OliviaStabler · 12/07/2018 12:59

It sounds like he won't change as you all seem to have tried. Could you secure temp work if you left right away?

mermaid5 · 12/07/2018 14:49

I think I may have to try temp work in the interim. I've been applying for jobs just waiting to hear back. I think I will go and sign up to some agencies too! It's just wearing me out to be working in that environment 😂

ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow · 12/07/2018 22:04

I suspect he won't change. Don't waste your energy trying to convince him he's behaving unreasonably, or trying to change him - you won't succeed. Use your energy to find another job. Life's too short!

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